Black-ness...

Man, what a 'black'-ness...
was just feelin' "it" again.
I guess was the memory
of the sounds... coming back,
flowing within,
hearing... "see ya laters..."
from someone else's lips to another
...and we didn't...
don't...
not anymore.
Okay...
happens, is life.

Ever notice
is always life that gets in the way
and touches where its never wanted
nor meant to be...
and yet we let it,
we always let it.

We don't speak anymore...
but not because we say less
or the silence is impenetrable
...or we've nothing to say.
Its that we don't hear,
are too busy answering
what we think is being said
to actually listen to what was...
being...
and said.

I know, "we'll continue this..."
this way,
another time....
always another time -
forever a tomorrow.
All the 'words' that fall
to be lost upon the floor
and swept or vacuumed
as rubbish...
away.
God, think of the full dumpsters,
landfills of buried hopes, tears -
incinerators burning 24 hours a day
spewing forth
the 'word'-ash full skies
that continually rain
'pon our heads,
entering our chests,
clogging our pores,
choking our lungs...
with unheard pain -
and all the destructed dreams.

"...be strong...",
I can't anymore,
don't want to 'be' anything...
anymore.
"I gotta go..." run a lil...
in tiny circles...
ever shrinking circles -
beginning to end,
til both are the same...
a single point-ed line
a mathematician's dream
or nightmare - one in the same.
Do you?...
can you?...
will you?

"You can always 'be' with me,
and I'll love no less... ever..."
til I AM - me - with you
and you DO love me less - forever.
Man what a 'black'-ness fell...
shakes my head.

"...look up, see the light!"
wrong thing to say -
so awesomely wrong...
is no 'up', is no 'light'... can't see...
where I am...
the full 'black'-ness of eternity -
bleakness infinitely squared -
just moves and stumbles along
trips, falls... stands... shuffles,
who knows or cares
anyway... not even I.
Darkness so resolute...
absolute...
nothing appears -
can't...
is forever swallowed -
and I know - forever lost.

Man... what a 'black'-ness this is...
am awed with it and by it -
am so small, infinitesimal -
curled tiny and mewling...
yet incredibly huge;
a part apart -
fractionated yet whole
- a single fractal-wide...
unchangingly changing.
Palpable nothingness -
I can feel,
touch,
taste...
smell,
and still I live...
damn,
can still live...
with nothing at all.

Man... what a 'black'ness...
wow.