Bleak Release

Here's to you, here's to me,
Here's to useless on my knees--
Hands held out and balled up tight,
Praying yet another night
Without you ends without the fear.

Balance won or balance lost?
Balance altogether tossed
Into the toilet with the rest.

So here's to you, and here's my best:
Masturbating in the dark
While the mirror hides the tears.