Seasonal

I feel life slipping through my fingertips
It was just spring, chilly in the mornings but fragrant by noon
Flowers pushing through the dirt, I waited to see if our errant tulip would come back
But it didnt
Spring bent to Summer
It wasnt bright enough, hot enough, you left me here
A bright sunny day that you loved so much
And I broke, spinning, twisting, grasping at walls unable to stand
It was beautiful despite you being gone
And I raged against it
Screaming at the bright lights and sweet smells
My anger slipped away into fall
My favorite time of the year
And all I could think of was dying
The colors faded,  the leaves fell
The sun slipped behind curtains of endless clouds
Chill bit the wind and rain buffered my anger to silence
I walk endless circles
Wake, walk, coffee, work, eat, work, walk, eat, sleep
Five days a week, I rinse and repeat
You hang over my shoulder with me every step
Sometimes I break a nail trying to claw my way out of this well
I fell out of love by the time winter clasped its hands beneath my shoulders
Maybe we werent meant to be, or maybe I'll wonder forever
Caught between the seasons that rise, bloom, wither, and die
Endlessly reaching for what I was with you