The Televangelist

A man of high moral standards doth speak
of the Virgin Mary, mild and meek,
of the coming of Christ and living God's way.
Turn on your television! See him today!

Praising the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost,
resembling a saintly talk show host,
He spreads God's word through cathode ray,
asking for faith—and maybe your pay.

You see, in God's name, he's run up a few bills:
air-conditioned doghouses, other "necessary" frills.
In order to come to you by satellite,
he needs some donations to rescue his plight.

He can heal the sick. God's given him power.
You can see it all--in just one hour.
Tune into his show to hear him speak.
It's only your faith and support he will seek.

Would you empty you pockets in the name of God?
He'll ask you to, with an approving nod.
A bigger hypocrite you'll never meet.
While praising God, he's on the street,
seeking prostitutes with whom he'll have sex.
Before you pull out your wallet,
ask yourself this:
Would Jesus wear a Rolodex?