- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Things I Noticed While Holding Hand
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Click hereI noticed the way you smiled when you took my hand and how I felt like a giddy teenager.
And I noticed the twinkle and amusement in your eyes as I blushed and giggled like a schoolgirl bouncing on her tippy toes, swinging hands and bumping shoulders.
I noticed the way you changed our hands
so our fingers were intertwined and how everything about that moment was just right and how it has lingered in my mind.
And I noticed that we were really holding hands right then and I noticed how much I liked it.
I noticed the way you squeezed my hand
before letting go and that I squeezed back.
And I noticed the warmth of your hand and the
softness of your skin and that it felt really nice.
I noticed that holding your hand was innocent yet intimate and I noticed I wanted your arms around me.
And I noticed that I was tingling all over from
the electricity of your touch.
And I've noticed that I've never noticed how
wonderful holding hands can be.
- COMMENTS
is my favorite. The whole picture works well, the words make me feel good and the image makes me long to hold hands. Quite nice.
that lends nicely to the long, flowing lines. I do agree with YDD that the superfluous I notices could be dropped. Otherwise, a very nice poem.
jim : )
A real bubbly and teenage innocent poem,
full of young-time, first love, type thoughts.
You might drop a couple of "I noticed" in lines where you use it twice.
Normally I would suggest that you cut some words and tighten the poem up,
but with this one I fear the naivet? flavor that makes the work refreshing would be the first victim.
A cute little read.