Dear Lost Lover Lost No More!

Dear lost love,

I miss you. I am alone now and I miss the thought of making love to you, your masculine touch and irritating ways. Well, I don't miss the irritating ways.

It was such a bad time in my life and you never tried to understand. You never tried to understand the complexity of my life, my health and my tears. I was there for you like a typical woman, only to be alone with my thoughts today.

I am alone in my thoughts, alone in my skin, and alone in my home. I am alone. I don't like loneliness. I have been lonelier at times when I was with you but today I am lonely because of my solitude, my emptiness and my silence.

*****

Ah, I feel your touch now; I feel your hardness, your erotic desire and passion for me and me for you. I remember our times together with such fond memories of lust and pleasure. I have not felt so excited since our last lovemaking session. Ah, to be naked with you again, to feel your strong hands rubbing against me. Ah, to be kissed by you again, passionately and warmly. Ah, to be one again, with our bodies entwined in yearning and gratification.

******

Memories carry us through difficult times, times of boredom and times of loneliness. But today, I write to write you of my loneliness and ask that you join me in your thoughts, in your memories and perhaps, your solitude.

I hope you suffer from my pain, my anger, the trials and tribulations of life. Is the rest of the world stronger? Is the rest of the world so strong that they can bear their own company in the solitude of life and stressors? I don't understand this human trait.

Today, I remember the good times with you and the laughs, our dirty conversations and play. I remember when we were naked and happy as if life was good and we were alive.

See, you are not just one person; you are many past lovers that have made me the person that I am. You have made me stronger but I still miss you. I miss my life with you. I wonder what your part of the world is like and if you are happy or if life is in a standstill as it is for me today.

Life is in a standstill. Life for me at the moment is to be alone. Life is without company.

Tomorrow will be better but today I just want to enjoy my loneliness, my sadness and my pain so tomorrow will be appreciated and treasured.

Tomorrow will bring new horizons and you will still be in my thoughts but not in my pain or loneliness because tomorrow I will not let you into my heart.

I let you once into my heart and I haven't again in a long time. Because dear friend, dear lover you are a treasured memory of the past.

*****

As I remember our lovemaking, I feel good, I feel sexy and I feel happy. I feel delirious and wanted, sensual and fanatical, immoral and unsatisfied. Oh, don't touch me like that because I will touch you back. Don't make me feel like that because I am losing my strength to fend you off. Don't whisper to me thoughts of our lovemaking because I will wither and release and then it will all be over. It will over too fast, and I will remain unsatisfied until your return.

But you will not return. You will perish because you are a memory. But I don't feel like you are only a memory right now because you are present in my thoughts as if you were real.

As I orgasm with relief, you return and pleasure me again. As I am pleasured, I pleasure you back and we share our lives once again, our moments of ecstasy and tenderness. We share the time we let each other into our lives without remorse or judgment, criticism or anger, obstinacies or isolation.

We were much younger then, and those pleasures have been lost in time, lost forever and eternally.

*****

I leave you with my thoughts and memories and hope you are well. I am better now because you filled up my loneliness for awhile and I am at peace, once again.

I will fold this letter in half and in half again, it will never be mailed. You will never know how I really feel today because you are a perished memory, a perished partner, a perished lover and friend. It was over before it started and it will not start again.

Goodbye evermore. Goodbye everlastingly. Goodbye forever and thanks for today.