Family Funnies

Author's Note: This story was written as an entry in the "750 Word Project" for 2022. The minimum length this site will accept for any story is 750 words, and it led to this particular challenge. Can you write a compelling story and make it EXACTLY 750 words? I'm not saying this is compelling, but I did nail the word count.

* * * * *

I come from a long line of practical jokers. We are constantly playing elaborate pranks on each other—the more outrageous, the better. My sister once appeared on the Weather Channel wearing a bikini in the middle of winter. She played the "dumb blonde" role when she asked the reporter for directions to the beach.

Our town is a thousand miles from any beach. My family watched that broadcast and we all laughed our asses off.

Of course, my sister only got on camera because she is smoking hot. That bikini showed off her huge natural boobs—a hallmark of all the women in my family—and I'm sure the segment did wonders for their ratings. Within minutes of that newscast, our phones lit up with friends and relatives calling and congratulating my sister. Our parents were proud, as was I.

That's just how our family is. The well-executed prank was our ultimate success.

If you've spent any time at all looking at "viral" YouTube videos, you've likely seen most of my family without knowing it. We love dressing up and acting like we have no clue.

Aunt Mel has more hits than any of us. She has mastered the role of the clueless, gorgeous bimbo. It's almost impossible to get her to break character.

When she showed up at our Halloween bash dressed in that obscene "I Dream of Jeannie" outfit, everyone laughed. Well, everyone in our family. It was a truly boner-inspiring outfit, and left almost nothing to the imagination. We had more laughs as guys who weren't relatives struggled to hide obvious erections, then had to deal with their jealous wives or girlfriends.

Mel just wandered about the party as if she didn't have a care in the world, and her voluptuous body shook alluringly beneath those transparent layers of fabric. I laughed, but I was as aroused as anyone. It was obvious she wasn't wearing a bra. Then I looked closer and realized that she wasn't wearing panties, either.

I grinned as I had a wicked idea. I was pretty sure I could get her to break character. All evening, Mel had remained in that clueless "Jeannie" persona, not even acknowledging that we were related.

My costume was one of those outrageous "hot firefighter" outfits. It displayed how much I had been working out. All evening, I ignored how women were drooling and staring at my chest and midsection. Instead, I kept deadpanning lectures on fire safety. Twice, I flashed a grin after one of my friends or family members had descended into peals of laughter, but otherwise I remained in character.

After all the guests had left, I approached my sexy aunt. I was completely in my gruff firefighter persona.

"Excuse me, ma'am, I believe we need to talk about your outfit," I informed her.

She turned, and her breasts wobbled enticingly. Her eyes were wide, and her eyelids fluttered.

"Why, whatever do you mean?" she asked in that same breathy, air-headed bimbo voice she'd used all night.

My family members turned to watch, and they snickered as we stayed in character. I reached out with both hands and squeezed her breasts through the gauzy fabric, but she merely batted her eyelashes and let me grope her.

"Everything seems to be in order here," I deadpanned.

My mother snorted. Mel simply smiled vacantly.

"That's a relief," she murmured.

I released a theatrical sigh as I turned her so that she was facing our audience.

"It's really your backside that has me concerned," I said.

Laughter erupted from our audience as my aunt bent over and shook her ass teasingly. It really was outrageous. I shook my head in disapproval as those layers of silky fabric slid aside and completely exposed her round, sexy bottom.

"That won't do at all," I sighed. "Fortunately, I have just the thing."

My dad howled out loud when I pulled out my lubricated dick.

"He's not really...?" my sister gasped.

They held their breath as I pushed my slick cock into my aunt's tight little asshole. Then they watched her face as her mouth shot open and she gasped in shock.

"Oh, you totally got her!" my brother laughed.

Everyone busted up, except Mel. She looked back at me, shook her head and smiled.

"Oh, Master!" she moaned.

Everyone else roared in laughter. I think it was fun for them to turn a blind eye as I fucked her ass right there in the dining room.

I certainly enjoyed it.