Letter From Evanston

Dear Shoeblossom, here is a recording I did with my boyfriend recently, he was unaware of it, of course...love your "Taped Confessions" series.

thanks,

Sinclair

"Pongo, it was your fantasy, wasn't it?"

"Sinclair, it was, but to be paraded through my aunt's garden party, where everyone is dressed so elegantly--"

"Oh, you're exaggerating"

"Every worthwhile person in Illinois--"

"Oh, c'mon, the girls were wearing sundresses and shorts, and most of the men were in Polo shirts. You did stand out, as I was leading you around with a chain around your crotch, and you were stark naked."

"And--"

"And nothing. Your dick was hard and dripping the entire time, as your cousin Peach pointed out. She is quite prescient for a twenty year old."

"And-and the guys were making fun of me, and pointing."

"Well, it was probably an unusual sight at an Anglican barbecue."

" And I felt ridiculous when you insisted I play Frisbee."

"That was great, your dick was flying around."

"Sinclair!"

"They'll never be friends with me, really again, and they'll laugh at me in the smoking room at the golf club."

"You hated those people. And now you never have to see them again, if you don't want to. I really am annoyed because you spent so much time playing billiards with them, and all that nonsense."

"I think perhaps that won't be a problem anymore, Sinclair."

"Pongo, I think you're just annoyed because your penis is locked right back up now. And you had a chance to orgasm, and you didn't take it!"

"I couldn't masturbate in front of all those people, Sinc. I just couldn't."

"But darling that was your CHANCE. I only give it to you once a month, you know. You did try, I'll give you that."

"But I- lost my erection, from the shame. I'm kneeling, and beautiful Leah, Kara and Kristi"

"The little bimbettes you always drool on."

"And that asshole Nolan who used to flick me with towels back at camp, they're all cheering me on, going 'Go-Go, Pongo, you can do it!"

"I-I shouldn't laugh. I suppose you could have stopped the entire thing at any time, though, Pongo."

"Well, it was a fantasy, and I so worship you, Sinclair. I want to marry you some day. But sometimes you can just be so-so cruel."

"I'm not, though, Pongo, honey. You are an egotistical little pustule, and I can't do enough to reduce your burgeoning pomposity."

"I-I-am I that bad?"

"You most certainly are. That's why I had to cane you in front of the postman after hearing you tell him that he really didn't deserve a Christmas bonus this year."

"I'm a libertarian. I--"

"You hate government employees? Sure, I get that. You've never had to struggle for a damn thing, and so you condescend to every cop, garbage man and mail carrier you meet."

"You used to think it was cute that I called the cops 'Donut boys', you did, Sinclair."

" It annoyed me, because you have a fix in. Do you think anyone I grew up with can get tickets fixed by his uncle the Commissioner?"

"But--"

"Fortunately, my godmother has an interesting relationship with him, and recently impaled him with his old nightstick."

"Uncle Richie?"

"It's amazing how many submissive little bitches there are in your family."

"We have a lot of brave--"

"Yeah, whatever. You also treat store clerks with disrespect. That's why, at Barnes and Noble last week, I made you pull out your penis in front of the cashier, and I whipped it."

"The guy was an incompetent. That was no reason for you to humiliate me, Sinclair."

"It was a total reason. That cashier was cute. I really should have given him my number.

"I want you all to myself, Sinclair. You're my princess."

"Right, except you are such a tool."

"I--Dad always told me I had to assert myself in front of the--"

"The working classes? The proletariat? Have you learned your lesson yet? I was so glad to make you eat that bar of soap--"

"At Bed, Bath and Beyond? Just because I called the saleslady a bitch?"

"She was a pitiful old woman who was trying to supplement her Social Security. I am so glad she had soap on hand."

"That was so horrible. I almost threw up."

"And I would have made you lick that up as well."

"The store was all laughing at me."

"Yes. I should have taken your pants down and whipped you in front of everyone."

"That would--"

"You know that turns you on, look how your cock is swelling up in the chastity cage."

"Well, it--oh, that feels so good, Sinclair, but you really shouldn't rub my penis when it's locked up like this."

"Why? I can get friction, my fingers are feeling the skin."

"Your soft fingertips--but it's in a CAGE, Sinclair. It can't expand, oh, that hurts."

"It's good for you. Like that, me rubbing the underside? Remember when I used to suck you off?"

"Oooh, that feels so good, but it hurts. Oh, it hurts!"

"My God, it's getting kind of purple. I should leave it alone now."

"Yes, but I wish you'd take the cage off, Sinclair."

"No, you had a chance to relieve yourself earlier. So pompous and full of ego."

"I am getting better."

"You are far more respectful. I loved it when you called the Uber driver 'Sir' the other night."

"I didn't love it that you fucked him in the front seat, Sinclair."

"And you used to be such a slob. This really has helped a lot, having you in this new space. I may actually marry you now."

"B-but you were flirting with Nolan at the party."

"Yes, while you watched, trying to hide your so straining penis."

"Well, I felt ridiculous. I'm standing there naked, and Nolan has always been so competitive with me, and it's like you've given him permission to bully me now."

"But honey, you're a sissy. You need a bully. I told Nolan that if he wants to come by this afternoon and whip you with my Reminder--"

"The cut-off piece of garden hose?"

"Yes. This is going to be so good for you. I mean, you've always made these nasty, cutting remarks to your cousin, Pogo, before this--"

"He's a loser slacker. I went into the firm like Gramps wanted, and Nolan just surfs and drinks beer."

"He's a healthy young man. And don't forget, he's part-time at Starbucks. Because you asked your grandfather to cut Nolan's trust fund."

"Damn right I did. He's morally corrupt. Do you know he slept with my last fiancée?"

"And history will repeat itself this afternoon, but if you are a little man about your whipping, and don't screech and scream too much, I'll let you watch us."

"Really?"

"Yes, and I might, MIGHT unlock your chastity belt."

"Oh, Sinclair, I love you!"