The Trade Show Pt. 07: Conditioner

Sorry for the long delay in writing this but Georgia's life has been a bit of a roller-coaster ride recently. xxx

*****

The weather was glorious. A perfect English summer's day. Cindy drove us with hood down to Totnes, a lovely and quite alternative town not far from Plymouth.

On the way, we talked about everything imaginable. Politics, fashion, hairstyles that might suit me, cars, men, films we liked and just about everything in between. It was during this journey that I realised that Cindy never referred to me being trans. She treated me like a female friend, a girlfriend, and conversations about hair, makeup and so on were never directed toward disguising my real sex, but simply finding what made me look more gorgeous. Realising this just made me love her even more. In my mind, it reinforced the fact that she loved me for being me. Not for being a girlfriend with extra benefits.

As Cindy went to buy a ticket for the car parking, I dropped the sun visor to take a look at my hair which felt like it had been in a wind tunnel for an hour. It looked like it too and as I did my best to sort out the mess Cindy returned with the ticket. Her hair looked exactly as it did when we left my house!

"How do you do that?" I asked, as I emerged from the car

"Do what, exactly," she replied, with a quizzical look on her face, lifting her handbag from the car, and locking up.

"Your hair is still perfect, despite being blasted by the wind, whereas mine looked like Dennis the Menace's," I relied.

"A good conditioner." She said. "Just a good conditioner. I'll lend you some."

As we stood by the car, Cindy passed me a can of spray sun lotion.

"Better put some of this one," she said, "You need to look after your skin. I will rub some on your neck for you, if you can also do mine."

Hand in hand we walked the short distance into the town, emerging at the bottom of the hill. Cindy was conspicuously gorgeous, and dressed with real style. In a word, she was classy. The sort of class that catches one's attention when ambling along a street doing nothing in particular; just going about one's business. Someone who stands out and demands a second, long look from both sexes. She exudes confidence.

The fact that she was hand in hand with another, apparently female, person just added to the novelty. I felt conspicuous, nervous and very proud and I concentrated very hard to replicate Cindy's walk, confidence and general demeanor.

"Being a woman, and a gorgeous woman is very hard," I thought to myself.

As we ambled up the hill we stopped to browse now and then and Cindy was always drawn especially any shops selling furniture and interior decorations. She was always on the lookout for new items.

Occasionally, she would see something and grasping my hand more firmly would drag me inside to check it out. Shop assistants would be drawn to her like flies around a meat sandwich.

Passing under the arch, we stopped to admire a plaque on the wall which marks the birthplace the man who started the Bodleian Library in Oxford. See, one learns something new every day!

We stopped for lunch in a fabulous vegetarian restaurant near the top of the hill, sitting in its tiny walled garden. More like a fairy grotto than a garden, I thought.

After lunch, we strolled around the small castle and headed back down the hill where we walked by the river and lay in the grass soaking up the sunshine. We lay there and dozed, hand in hand, until the strength of the sun got the better of us.

As we climbed back into the car, Cindy switched on the air conditioning and redirected the cold air vents toward us to help cool us down.

"Are you ready to go home, or would you like to do some shopping?" she asked.

"Now that is what I call a very silly question," I said, "We could go into Exeter, it isn't that far." And so, we did.

On the way, we discussed what shops to visit, and what to buy. Cindy was as keen to buy for me as she was for herself and I rebuked her, as far as it was actually possible to rebuke her, for offering to pay for the whole shopping trip.

"Call it a house warming present," she suggested.

Cindy was used to having her own way and we eventually agreed that whilst she would buy me some things, I could also buy her some.

We arrived home at about 8pm, both exhausted from the busy day, kicking off our heels as we entered my house. It was as much as we could do to take all of the bags into the house in one trip.

As I stood in the kitchen making tea, Cindy came from the lounge and hugged me from behind, kissing my neck and generally distracting me, whilst I pretended that she wasn't there. Clearly not impressed with being ignored, she reached inside my top and deftly undid my bra strap. As my boobs pulled my bra forward she quickly reached for my nipples.

This was something I could not ignore and I simply leaned back into her as she simultaneously kneaded my nipples and kissed my neck and ears. I moaned quietly as he manipulated my senses as only she knows how.

As I turned around to face her, she grinned, lifted my top and removed my falsies before kissing and nibbling my nipples in turn. She knew where this would lead!

I lifted her top over her head and undid her bra which fastened at the front. "Very handy," I thought.

We simply stood in the kitchen kissing and enjoying each other's breasts for a while before finally making the tea and taking it to the bedroom.

Removing our skinny jeans, we retired to the bed.

"Make me squirt again," Cindy demanded, and so I did. It seemed that simultaneous focus on her G spot and clitoris, combined with rubbing either sides of her labia would pretty much do the job, and I wondered what the equivalent would be for me.

As she came again, soaking me and the sheets again, I worried if the neighbours would hear her coming.

As I rode her strap on, cowboy style, leaning forward over her, I was in heaven and judging by Cindy's face, she was too. I discovered that by rocking forward and backwards we were both stimulated equally and could often climax together.

Although I had experienced an anal climax several times by now, as this had been a challenge that I had set Cindy early in our relationship, it never failed to catch me by surprise. The intensity, and how it enveloped my whole body was an experience I thought every man, whether straight, or otherwise, should experience at least once.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Cindy asked out of the blue, as we recovered, still breathing heavily.

"Why?" I asked, after a short pause to regain my senses.

"Well, I have to drop by the office to sign some things, but am then free."

Cindy then paused a few moments, and before I had a chance to respond, continued, "I think we should go into London, what do you think? Are you free? I was going to suggest we go today, but by the time you had finished fucking me we ran out of time." She giggled, and looked my straight in the eyes.

I sensed there was more to this suggestion than simply a visit to London.

"We would probably have to stay over, unless we managed to get some flights into City Airport," I said, sounding a bit too much like her PA, I thought.

"Or, we could get the early train, and maybe the sleeper back. Either would give us a full day in town."

"Do you have something special in mind?" I asked, wondering why Cindy suddenly appeared to be deep in thought. "Come on Cindy, tell me what's on your mind. Is something bothering you?"

"No, not bothering me. No. But you know I like to plan, and look ahead.""

"Yes," I said, not knowing if to expect good or bad news from her.

Another long pause ensued so I sat up and sat astride her, as if pinning her down, encouraging her to be direct.

"You know that I love you, more than I have ever loved anyone, actually," she started, causing me to blush impossibly and also making me to feel very guilty at even having doubted her, for even a second.

"Yes, of course, and you know how I feel about you too, so what is this about?"

"I want you to have everything you have ever wanted, and I know you will never ask me for anything, and you know I am impatient. And I don't really want to talk to you about this in case it upsets you. You know that I love you, as you are, and whatever you decide is best for you as you move ahead in your life, with me in your life, I hope."

This was the very first time Cindy showed any signs of vulnerability, and it was clear she was not comfortable with it so I leaned forward and embraced her to give her all the reassurance she clearly needed.

"Cindy, Darling Cindy. I love you more than you can imagine, and suddenly, because of you, I can see a wonderful, positive and happy future ahead of me. Nobody has managed to do that before, not for Georgia. So don't feel nervous about talking to me about anything, and I mean anything at all."

Cindy smiled and although I could see some relief in her face, she still appeared nervous.

"Georgia, my wonderful Georgia. I have never considered you anything other than pure woman, and I love you, and your special bits equally. But, if you are as serious about living full time as a woman as I think you are, maybe you should do something about it. I mean. What do I mean? I mean do something to make you exactly the woman of your dreams."

"God, that sounds awful," Cindy said. "I am making a hash of this and if I could rewind the tape I would do."

"I'm just thinking about the compromises you have to make every single minute of your life, and the worries and concerns you have every time you leave the house. I can see it on your face and I just want to fix these things for you."

"Ahh. I see. So, what is it you have in mind? I think maybe this is a conversation we need to have before we go rushing off somewhere to "fix" things."

I rolled off her and we sat up in bed. I felt isolated somehow, and awkward and worried Cindy may be feeling the same, so I pulled her close and dragged a sheet around us, as if to encapsulate us closer together.

I kissed her a long sensuous kiss, exploring her lips as if for the first time. It was, frankly, wonderful. Judging from her noises, she enjoyed it too.

"So let's see what we need to do," I said, trying to reassure Cindy that whatever her ideas were, they would be mine too.

Clearly, as a long time trans girl, living a secret life, I had dreamed of becoming a real girl more times than I could count. I dreamed of transitioning, operations, pain, working as a woman, etc. so often it had become a norm for me. I judged this is what trans people like me go through. But the practicalities, and costs left these dreams in the dreams bag, rather than in the do it later bag.

"Tell me what your ultimate dreams are, Georgia," Cindy asked, putting me well and truly on the spot. "I mean, given no restrictions at all, and no perceived problems or complications, what would you like to happen in your life?"

Blimey, I thought, this is like asking what the meaning of life is. This could take a while.

"OK. Make yourself comfortable. This may take a while," I said as I shuffled to make us more comfortable in bed, and drank some of my, now tepid, tea.

"I am more comfortable, contented and happy when I am Georgia than when I am, well, someone else. Georgia is who I am. I am Georgia. But, although society now, more or less, accepts gay and lesbian people, and there is more information and growing acceptance of trans people, acceptance of a crossdressing guy is really near zero. Whether I consider myself trans or not doesn't matter. What people see is a crossdresser. So. The only way I have to get around this problem, given that I am not as brave as many trans people, is to either stay indoors, or alternatively to ensure that I pass as a woman as well as I can. I hope you understand?"

Cindy nodded and I detected a tear in the corner of her eye.

"You, my gorgeous Cindy, have never ever treated me as anything other than a woman, and for that, regardless of our future, I will owe you a huge debt and be ever grateful. In my experience, it makes you unique. Not that you aren't pretty damn unique anyway. I have lived my life pretending to be what I believed society wanted me to be, behaving as far as possible to conform to what is expected of a man. Although I think I made a pretty good job of that, I regret more than anyone could imagine having misled everyone I have ever loved in my family. If I had been born a generation later, or two, my life could have been very different."

Cindy just looked into my eyes, causing us both the produce tears. I had never opened up to anyone like this before. But then, Georgia had never been in love before.

"Coming back to your question. I guess my dream is to not only feel more like a woman, but also to present like one, ideally so that I would easily pass, even in close company. I know, of course, that this is the impossible dream, and so I make the best I can of life, and have tended to stay indoors. I have found that by taking oestrogen on and off, in small doses, I have learned that it makes me feel more content. It makes my skin and hair softer, and has given me my small, very small boobs. I have restricted my intake as I need to be able to retain a male persona in other aspects of my day to day life."

Cindy gathered herself together, wiping tears from her eyes using the bed sheet. "I never realised what you were going through, Georgia. I am so sorry. You are always happy and such fun. I feel really bad."

I pulled her close to me and wiped my own eyes, making sure she didn't see.

"Cindy, you have nothing to be sorry about. It is because of you that I am now happy than I have ever been. It is as if you have let me out of a lifetime in prison, even if it was self-inflicted."

"What would you like to do about this?" Cindy asked.

I laughed, trying to brighten the mood.

"I think I should win the lottery, then go to Thailand for a few months, undergo twenty surgical operations and emerge looking like Cindy Crawford. What do you think?"

Whilst I jested, this wasn't so far away from many dreams that I had over several decades, although these days I thought I might emerge more like an elderly Jane Fonda.

"OK, that sounds like a plan, but can I request you aim more for Kate Winslet, she is really hot?"

For a second, I thought Cindy was being serious, about it being a good plan, but her broad smile quickly brought me back to earth.

"You're kidding, right?" I asked.

"If you are," she replied, and kissed me long and hard throwing my head into a spin.

"Seriously, if that is what you really want, I will support you, but I don' want to lose the real Georgia in the process. Although.." she paused for a moment. "Although, I'd love it if you had bigger boobs for me to play with!"

We laughed, and it was good that we had returned from being too serious.

For a few moments we cuddled under the sheets and I took the opportunity to remove the remains of her clothing, and explored her impressive and sensuous, if not erotic curves, finishing up with two fingers in her pussy.

"Stop it!" she commanded, "I'm being serious, and we need to make a plan."

She pulled my hand away, and if to tease me further, moved it to my mouth so that I could taste her juices on my fingers. She knew how to play hard ball.

"OK, if you want a serious plan, taking into account that you fancy Ms Winslet, can I tell you what I had in mind, and you can compare it with what you had planned for me?"

"Good idea," she said. "But I don't expect you to look like Kate really you know. I'd really rather you looked like yourself." Her smile was beautiful. I really was in love with this woman.

"Right. I thought, subject to you agreeing, I thought..." I paused to think about what I really wanted. Rather, what I needed to do. What I had to do if I were to be reborn as a woman.

"Right. I need to go back on hormones, and this time with testosterone blockers. This will give me slightly bigger boobs, although it may take a while. It will make me feel and think more like a woman, but I just hope you will still love me. I need to get a new wig as mine are old, scruffy and very hot to wear. I'm not sure there is another solution. Maybe my own hair will grow enough, given time. Maybe get a boob job later, but I know they like to see some natural growth first. Oh, and the hormones will make my nipples even more sensitive. That could be fun."

Cindy smiled and tweaked a nipple as if to demonstrate their current sensitivity.

"I need to have some facial and other hair removal. I thought electrolysis, but there may be other methods. I get terrible rashes from shaving."

Cindy laughed and said "That is where I was going to take you today or tomorrow. But I thought it a liberty just taking you there without any consensus. I'm really sorry."

As she finished talking, I saw a tear in her eye again. She really did feel guilty.

"Eventually, I would like my Adam's apple removed, and maybe even a bit of facial shaping."

Cindy sat up and moved on top of me, sliding forward and backward rubbing her clit on my flaccid penis.

"I think all of that is really lovely. If it makes you a happier person, then it makes me happy too. But what about this thing between us?" she asked, gesturing toward my growing penis. "You haven't mentioned it at all. Will you rid yourself of it, and get a pussy?"

This was something I had thought about, on and off over several decades. I had come to despise it at times and often dreamed of cutting it off, and I may have done, except that it is used to create a pussy during SRS. I think it was that single fact that prevented me doing myself serious injury. But I knew that sometimes Cindy enjoyed it being there, and I wondered how she would feel about me losing it.

"Eventually it will be hard to get erections, once I am back on hormones. Sometimes trans people can, but sometimes they cannot. If I want a pussy, it will have to go. So, I guess the question for you is, which would you rather I had, a pussy, or a cock?"

I could see the realisation of this fact on Cindy's face as she gave the question real consideration.

"Well, as you know, I love both. I know its isn't your favourite thing, and I can see that becoming a bigger issue as you transform yourself. So, whilst it is there, and only if you are happy, I will use it on and off. Oh, and on and off, and on and off. Oooh." We both laughed.

"But once it is gone, I love pussy too, and we really can give the strap on some serious use, and use my double ended dildo too. I love it all, as long as you are happy to be the one on the other end. Oh, and I will have some really super boobs to play with. Ooh. Can I choose their size? I think a C cup will suit you. Just think of it. Oh. Also. Will your nipples get bigger?"

Cindy had already embraced the whole idea of my becoming more passable and was excited about the whole thing.

"C cup is about what my falsies are, but we can always go for a fitting to see what size would be best. Meantime, if you'd like bigger boobs on me, I can buy a bigger set, or even one of those chest plates, maybe a DD. Just think of the cleavage! Nipples and areolae nearly always increase in size with hormones. I used to be a fair bit bigger than I am now, a few years back, I explained."

Cindy was beginning to become excited about the future and we talked about nothing else over dinner and that evening. She had never heard of a breast plate before and I showed her some images online. Clearly some were better than others and so some research had to be done before committing several hundred pounds for one. Whilst the idea of having DD's of my own did have some appeal, I considered that during normal life they could become an embarrassment, especially as I was trying to fit in, rather than stand out. (no pun intended)