The Valkyrie Project - Chapter 16

Jamie looked at Jesse across the table. Each had a mug of tea and sipped it slowly. Gone were the inhibitor bands they'd worn for months, back were their old bracelets. Each was dressed casually: a loose t-shirt, comfy pants, and sneakers. "When you were in there, at the end.... was I a prisoner?" she asked softly. They hadn't spoken much about what happened a week prior. For the most part they'd just slept and ate recovering, today was the first day that either had enough energy to even hang out in the small kitchen in the tomb where they'd been confined since the sim.

"Yes, you stood up to defend our sisters even in the face of death." Jesse paused, took a sip "and then he pointed a gun at you.... and I..." she stopped speaking searching for words. She felt Jamie reach across the table to squeeze her hand and smile. The beautiful smile she'd fallen in love with when Jamie had been a guy and fallen all over again for when she became her prefect futa wife.

"I know" she said softly. "I knew I might have to kill in the sim, but I..." she trailed off too, Jesse squeezing her hand in kind. Someone had to put it to words. "I, never fucking expected that. To in the same moment feel absolute revulsion at what I'd done, perfect calm where I knew exactly what I had to do, what hits I was going to take, and who had to die; but also a warmth and love that made no sense in that moment pushing me forwards like I was the goddess' angel of fucking death."

Jesse sighed "When I saw him raise the gun... there was no hesitation, no regret or remorse, it was like the goddess herself had marked that soul and I had no control over myself." tears formed in her eyes, Jaime got up and move around to the bench next to her wrapping her arms around her wife. Neither had to explain as both knew exactly how the others had felt. "But the weirdest part was feeling compassion for him too in that moment." she said softly in Jamie's arms.

That night they lay in bed, naked in the sheets. They'd had sex for the first time since the sim. Each taking their time and being far more gentle than their usual wrestling matches. To say their lovemaking that night had been an homage to the goddess would have probably been an understatement. Some sex is love making, some sex is fun, but this sex was for healing.

Jamie rested with her head against Jesse's shoulder, twirling their hair together. "Do you think they'll ever forgive us?" she asked softly.

"I don't know" She paused and thought for a moment, "Mom" she started and then stopped "We hurt them badly." She sighed with regret, her heart aching at the pain they'd inflicted. "I don't think I've ever seen mom angry before. Annoyed plenty, but honest to goddess angry enough to rip someone's head off. Never. I'm honestly scared, I've gotten into plenty of trouble before but never something that I couldn't apologize for." She idly stroked Jamie's hair. The problem was that they weren't sorry at all for doing the sim, it wasn't like they could beg forgiveness for that. Doing so would be the height of insincerity. They had known precisely what they needed to do and had done it consequences be damned. They hadn't realized the hurt it would cause until after the fact so focused had they been on their goal. While they were sorry for the hurt they had caused things were not at a place where an apology would even be listened too sincerely.

Jamie looked up at her wife and kissed her softly. As they broke the kiss they held each other's gaze for a second "Should we tell Val she can't hide in the hall eavesdropping forever? That we can easily detect her presence now?" the futa said deliberately loud enough that the Valkyrie could hear them. They looked to the door as she let herself in.

An awkward silence reigned neither side knowing what to say. Val was just as much their mother as Crystal was. While not by blood it didn't matter, she cared for them.

Jaime looked at her wife and drew the metaphorical short straw. The futa realized that given the monitoring it would be dangerous to have Val show any affection for them. So she tried a different tack. "So, what's our sentence? Hopefully Crystal is ok?" She asked. Her eyes conveying the rest, their concern for their mothers and how much hurt they had caused.

Val started nodding yes to the latter part. "Crystal was sleeping alone until just tonight. Sandy was damn close to giving her walking papers. She received six months loss of pay and is confined to base. She has also been forbidden to contact either of you until stated otherwise."

They both winced, that was a very harsh sentence for an officer, particularly one that was not actually able to affect their decision despite all attempts to do so.

"And mom?" Jesse asked, she asked praying that her mother hadn't disowned her.

Val just shook her head no, it wasn't something she could or was ready to talk about yet. "As for your sentence, I don't know. The general has been dealing with other work and has not yet acted on your insubordination and misuse of facilities." The fact she referred to Tina by title and not by name or as a mother told them both a lot causing both their hearts to sink into their stomachs. "I just couldn't stand you two being so alone in here." she gestured to the windowless concrete walls around them. "I had to see you with my own eyes, I'd hoped to wait until you were sleeping, and I'd assumed you'd go to sleep right after sex." she said softly referencing the fact that they were under observation everywhere.

"Don't get in trouble for us" Jesse said softly.

Val's low light vision as a Valkyrie was excellent, and she could see the pain she'd brought them even if unintentionally. She nodded as they both mouthed 'Love you' to her an action she dared not reciprocate at the moment.

Tina sat in her office monitoring the exchange, she'd watched them a lot over the past week. She could not describe the hurt of having her girls go on what were de facto suicide missions in the sim and come back grievously wounded the both of them. As family, she'd had to distance herself and hand the case over to a Judge Advocate General. As a mother she was angry and hurt in ways she hadn't felt possible. While Crystal had taken non-judicial punishment to avoid permanent repercussions, the girls couldn't do that and the JAG would likely settle their fates. She heard the click of Val's footsteps, her wife could be very unstealthy when she wanted to be.

She looked up to see Val and Mei occupying her couches like they owned them, which in some way they did as they spent more time on them than she did. "Ladies what do I owe the pleasure of your visit to?" she asked a bit more formally than she would normally.

Mei looked up at her from where she was sprawled "The JAG turned in their report, the president assigned me as your second-highest ranking officer to make the charging decision in your stead." The small Asian Valkyrie let that sink in. Tina knew she wasn't allowed to, but she'd assumed an outside officer would be chosen. Or her superiors in the defense council.

Tina's eyes played over the two, both dressed in the same black form fitting attire that allowed them to move like ghosts where ever they damn well pleased. She decided to start with the part she didn't know "What was the JAG's recommendation?"

The intelligence officer tossed a pad on her desk, but she kept her eyes on Mei's face "Time served plus a week, and dismissal of all penalties for Crystal. They found that given the circumstances while the use of the facilities without permission was inappropriate it was confined officially to the girls as Crystal didn't herself assist them with that. As for the exercise itself, well apparently that is still covered under 'Battle Maiden' and is allowed, if anything it appears to show the program was a success. So basically it comes down to a unit discipline call which was deferred to me." Mei paused "General, Tina... do you want my ruling?"

Tina's eyes caught her own, and she could see the extreme pain in her friend's heart. Mei's face was not its usual satyric smirk but worried concern. "Yes" Tina said softly.

"For misuse of facilities the sentence as recommended by the JAG, for unit discipline one hell of a dressing down by each of their respective mothers until each has expressed the full depth of their pain."

"So you want me to just march in there and tell them how they ripped my damned heart out, and just pretend that is ok?" Tina vented, knowing in her heart it probably was the best solution. Bottling emotion never boded well. But that didn't mean that emotionally it felt good to hear at the moment. She didn't want to admit she wanted them to feel the pain she felt.

Mei held her gaze, concern writ over every inch of the intelligence officer; it was clear she didn't have an answer for that. "In a week, they'll be in confinement to quarters until then. Do you accept my judgement General?"

Tina took a moment to do the centering meditation to separate herself from her pain. "I do" she pressed her thumb to the pad signing off on Mei's recommendations. As tight-knit as the Valkyrie were this had to get sorted out. This couldn't be allowed to fester, or the unit would completely lose cohesion.

Val wrapped her arms around her wife and squeezed. Tying to convey they would get through this. Tina squeezed one of Val's hands. She'd get past it, but goddess damn did it hurt. While the girls may have taken the bullets, it sure as hell felt like they'd hit her too.

Jamie scrubbed Jesse's back reaching around to give her wife a playful grope. An hour or two after Val had left Mei had come by to deliver the news. The week since had been a bit painful. Confined to quarters in strict isolation they'd had no contact at all with anyone after Mei had left. Meals were placed in the atrium, but they were only allowed in there to pick them up. A single ring of the bell told them when it was safe to do so. They weren't allowed to leave to do PT, so they'd had to content themselves with what they could do in the confines of the unit.

But that didn't mean that they didn't have each other. Which had helped immensely in healing the wounds. The physical wounds on each of them were almost impossible to identify if not using a scanner and even then they were rapidly fading. But the emotional wounds went far deeper and the week had served as a good period for handling those. But the gaping wound that was the pain they had caused their mothers still remained open.

Today was the last day of their sentence, and they were to report to the atrium for escort to Tina's office in an hour. Each toweling off and getting dressed in their cadet's uniform. After all they had not officially been inducted into the Valkyrie yet. Despite not wearing inhibitors they might as well have been they had full control having.

"Ready?" Jesse asked and nuzzled her wife. New uniforms had been delivered that fit their new stature as they now had the full height of a Valkyrie.

"As I can be, mom is not much for words... so be prepared." She said softly because she honestly didn't know what to expect from Sandy.

A knock at the door told them it was time. Two Valkyrie and Val stood outside in uniform. "Wrists out" Val ordered. Each lifting their wrists as Val snapped a set of inhibitors designed for the case that a Valkyrie went rogue on each of them, binding their wrists together in a solid block. Out of courtesy and recognition they weren't going to flee she did so in front. The field it projected much stronger than a normal one, but it wasn't necessary for them, and it was dubious that it could contain them anyway. Binding in place Val turned "Let's move" they could tell she was deliberately keeping things cold between them for now.

They made their way to Tina's office where Mei, Sandy, Crystal, Tina, and the JAG as a witness awaited.

The JAG cleared his throat, the young lawyer recognized the unique nature of the case having discussed it extensively with Mei. While not a Valkyrie himself he considered himself held to the same standard, as did many that served in the regular forces. So his goal was to act with fairness and compassion, as well as justice.

He started a recorder and then spoke: "Let's get this informal proceeding started, Cadets as you're aware the punishment for misuse of facilities is now over. Before we get to the matter at hand I am also required to inform you that had you been commissioned at the time of this I would have been required to bring charges of 'Conduct Unbecoming' a much more serious charge. However, given that you were cadets at the time you were under supervision; you did however ignore your supervisor's pleas. Your supervisor pleaded for insubordination charges to be dropped; for this reason and that reason only are you not facing those serious charges. Moving on... due to your relationship with the commanding officers of your unit the adjudication of your case was turned over to the second-highest ranking officer of no relation. That officer recommended for the charge of breaking unit discipline, that given the unique nature of the offense and how it broke down unit cohesion, that you both be given dressing down by each of your mothers and superior officers in turn. That they could express the harm and hurt you have inflicted on them. I accepted this recommendation and the defense council and your commanding officer approved. During this you will remain silent and at attention until told otherwise. Understood?"

"Yes sir" they stated in unison. Each acutely aware of the gravity of the situation. They hadn't even thought about the insubordination charge when the hurt they had caused loomed so much larger.

"General I turn over control of these proceedings to you" He stated, his formal role done at this point.

Tina nodded "Thank you, Crystal you first"

The scientist leaned forwards and looked them in the eyes "You know how I feel, you knew prior, and you know now. Remember what happens today and consider that maybe just maybe there should have been another way. We could have worked out a protocol that achieved the same aims with a much more calculated and acceptable danger level. It is only by the grace of the goddess I convinced you to modify the sim that you didn't die." Her words hit them like body blows. Had they been a tiny bit more patient, none of this would have happened. Crystal nodded to Tina to let her know she was done.

"Val?"

She just shook her head, she had no words for them. But her expression said volumes of her hurt.

"Sandy?"

Sandy stood, the heals of her boots clicking on the hardwood as she approached. "Permission to discipline my child?" the Colonel said with barely contained emotion as she stood.

"Granted"

Sandy, pursed her lips and closed her eyes for a moment. "Jamie, do you remember looking over and seeing Jesse wounded and bleeding out as you left the sim? Do you remember the pain your heart felt in that moment."

Jamie's eyes acknowledged as her mother placed her hands on her shoulders, the cadet unable to respond due to the orders to stay at attention.

"You do" Sandy said softly. "Now, imagine that pain but a thousand times worse. Because that's what it felt like when your father and Sam passed." She let that sink in both of the girls eyes going wide, tears forming as they stared straight ahead. "I never ever, ever want to bury another child, I've lost enough in this lifetime." She finished and kissed away their tears giving each a kiss on the cheek.

Tina stood, walking around her desk, looking them in the face as she sat on the edge of her desk "Do you know what it's like to see your children bleeding out in front of you?" she asked softly, her words carrying an edge of cold rage. "Do you know what it's like to find out your children have locked themselves in a goddess damned sim with the fucking safeties off set to a fucking suicide mission?" They winced at her words "You'd both pray the goddess never visits that pain on you. Because the wounds you felt in there, the pain you felt, all the things I know you've been dealing with for the past two weeks... that will pale against it. Jesse, Jamie... I'm extremely disappointed in you. Both as your mother and as your commander. What you did should have gone through proper review and approval. No lives were on the line, nobody would have died if it took you longer. But by doing this you've shown lack of judgement that leaves me concerned about your ability to act as Valkyrie. While it is not part of your punishment, I'll be delaying your induction into the unit until you've shown that you have learned better judgement. That is all, at ease." She'd added the last off the cuff not sure where it came from, even in the moment it felt like an unnecessary knife twist.

"General" the JAG spoke up

"Yes?" She looked at him knowing what was coming.

"While I respect your judgement, that is not part of the adjudication and what is considered within the bounds of what is allowable. If you do not think the cadets are fit to serve that is your right. However, it will result in their immediate dismissal under dishonorable conditions." The JAG was being clear that they had served their official punishment. Anything further would constitute a critical failure of a fitness to serve an extremely serious issue. Not only would that end their careers it would de facto make them equivalent to ex-cons.

Tina sighed and covered her face with her palms. "Understood, then we'll just have to keep an eye on them."

The JAG nodded "That sounds acceptable General, now this proceeding has concluded. Cadets, be aware as the general said your conduct will be monitored. We expect Valkyrie to operate at the highest standards." With that he turned off the recording and stepped out.

Having been released from standing at attention Jesse had been holding back tears, and Jamie was holding her tightly as one could with bound writs and rocking gently. Jesse had never once in her entire life no matter how badly she'd fucked up earned Tina's disappointment before; and it hit her like a freight train. She sobbed into her wife's shoulder, head hanging low. She could feel Jamie's own tears in her hair as they collapsed to their knees together with emotion.

Disappointed though Tina was, she was still a mother and a parent. The sound of her child sobbing melted her cold rage away. At that moment she wasn't a general, she wasn't a commanding officer. She rushed to her baby's side and Hugged Jesse against her breast. "I know baby, yes momma is disappointed. But we'll get past this. You're still my little girl and I love you. It's because I love you that I'm so hurt." she murmured into Jesse's hair.

Val moved in and squeezed from the side. Sandy and crystal joining in.

"We're sorry" Jesse said in the most barely audible voice possible pain in every syllable. Nobody was fooled into thinking they were apologizing for doing the sim. Everybody knew that the apology was for the pain it caused.

Jamie's own tears had soaked the shoulder of her wife's uniform. The moment going on for a solid few minutes as Mei watched from the couch, knowing this was precisely the intent she'd had in the first place. Life is better when we're honest with each other. The hurt was more caused by the deception and lack of notification than the action.

Tina looked up to Val "Love can we get this damned things off of them? I want to hug our daughters, not criminals"

Val nodded and quickly removed the bindings.

Tina had ordered food, and they sat on the floor, leaning on each other. Tina and Val sat with Jesse's head resting in their laps while Jamie's rested in Crystal and Sandy's. Val's fingers idly played with Jesse's hair as Tina held her daughter's hand. She looked down at their wrists barren but for the childhood bracelets. "Back to the bracelets? I didn't think those were working." she said softly.