The Varieties of Transexual Experience Ch. 01

The Interview

"Please come in and have a seat. Thank you for participating in the project...Elsebeth, is it?

"Yes, Elsebeth. You're welcome, Doctor, it's a pleasure."

"You do understand that this interview will be recorded?"

"Yes."

"And that the university must keep your identity anonymous?"

"I understand."

"Alright. Try to relax and be completely honest, it will increase the value of the study."

"I'm fine, Doctor. You can be assured that everything I say is the complete truth."

"Excellent. Then let's begin. How long have you been a transexual?"

"I'm still transitioning. I started taking an experimental hormone panel about 30 months ago, I live offshore, and I had some minor cosmetic surgery last year. But I've been living as a bisexual man for about four years."

"Why do you want to be a woman?"

"Wow! That's a tough one, Doctor. I guess I've been thinking about life as a woman since I've been a little kid. I used to dress up in my sisters clothes, played around with dildos and non-penetrative gay sex, and all that. I've had sex with women, I led quite a normal life in high school. But I always found the experience of dressing and behaving as a woman much more exciting and satisfying than as a man. I got serious about it about just recently, though, when I became able to afford it financially."

"You look much further along in the process than 30 months, Elsebeth."

"Thank you! What a nice compliment. Being petite and blond helps things enormously. I've always been androgynous looking, and I have years of experience with makeup and mannerisms, so it's fairly easy for me to look and act the part now. The facial surgery wasn't very pleasant, and there's more to come, but I adore the results of the drugs so far, my ass is rounder and my skin is so much softer. My breasts are responding beautifully to the hormones, and growing so large I may not need surgery. They even produce a little milk!"

"Uh..."

"I'm sorry if I've embarrassed you, I tend to get a little overenthusiastic. I'm just not sure how far along I want to take this."

"What do you mean?"

"I kind of like where I am right now. I mean, I've got the best of both sexes, don't I?"

"Would you explain a little further, please."

"Look at me, Doctor. Do you find me attractive?"

"Very much so."

"I'm a real fox, I know. I keep myself in good shape, and I pay attention to my appearance. I have my pick of the most handsome guys. Almost every straight man I've come on to hasn't cared that I'm not a genetic girl. They're delighted when I offer them a blowjob or anal, which I find extremely satisfying by the way. Having been male, I know exactly how to please a man, and they usually come back for more. The experimental drug regimen that I'm on has allowed me to stay quite potent as far as my cock is concerned, even while I've feminized considerably. I've found that some women are fascinated with my hard cock and womanly body, so I can have sex with the girls whenever I want to, also. I'd say that's the best of both worlds."

"So you are doing this recreationally?"

"Sure."

"How did you convince the hospital panel to go along with this? They usually require a lot more psychological dedication to approve of the drug regimen prior to sexual reassignment surgery."

"I made a six figure donation to the new north wing fund. I'm wealthy."

"I see."

"You don't approve."

"That's not why I'm here. I will admit I'm surprised. I've not had a case like this before."

"It's not uncommon in Asia."

"I know. Uh..."

"What's wrong, Doctor?"

"Elsebeth, I don't think the data collected here would be applicable within the confines of this particular study."

"Oh, I didn't know. I just...I'll go then."

"I'm sorry we didn't make the parameters more explicit. Before you leave, would you indulge me with a few more questions?"

"Sure."

"I'll turn off the recorder if you like."

"That isn't necessary. Ask away."

"Thank you. How has everything been working out for you so far?"

"Great! I'm open to any sex act, with anyone, anytime. I've immersed myself completely in the experience of human sex. I'm committed to exploring every aspect of it that I can."

"Why?"

"The reward should be obvious."

"Surely you don't mean that your motivation is strictly sexual gratification?"

"Pretty much, right now."

"Most serious transsexuals feel they've been born into the wrong body, and need to change to be happy."

"Not me, I like both sexes equally. I wish there were an easy way to change completely into the opposite sex, and back again. I'd love to experience having sex as a complete woman, but I don't want to lose the familiarity of sex as a man. I'd really like to have a baby as a woman, but it looks like we won't be able to do that in my lifetime, medically. As long as I don't go through with reassignment surgery, I can always have children normally. I may, someday."

"If you would like to have children, you could have sperm frozen, and then complete reassignment surgery. You could find a male partner and use a surrogate mother."

"I know. I wouldn't want to do that. It sounds so...conventional."

"Have you considered how such an unusual arrangement would affect a child?"

"Things change. Children can adapt. They need love more than conformity."

"I see. Do you find many men or women that are accepting of your philosophy?"

"I've never discussed it with anyone but you, Doctor."

"So you intend to live permanently as a pre-op transsexual?"

"I'm considering it. Transsexuals aren't as unusual as they once were. Society is slowly moving toward acceptance, and the body of law becomes more favorable every year. As you can see, no one would suspect I'm a Tgirl unless I tell them. Since I'm financially independent, I don't have the pressure of making a living to contend with. I love being a man living outwardly as a woman. I don't seem to have any psychological problems with the dichotomy of it all. Maybe it's because I'm still young, but right now, it's all about the sex.

"You're an intelligent person. Don't you find that attitude a bit parochial?"

"Completely. Would you like me to give you a blowjob before I go?"

"What?"

"I'm very good at it, baby. I'll swallow so I won't mess up your clothes."

"Well, I..."

"See! Sex is so basic to humans, you couldn't help but imagine what it would be like with me, even knowing it's impossible in your position. What's wrong with dedicating your life to the experience of something so essential, so important to people? I know what a sex life is like as a man, perhaps someday I'll learn enough to know what it's like as a woman. Until then I'm exploring a frontier that's been available to us as a race only for the past few years. I'm a pioneer! It's pretty exciting, I can tell you. But it's also risky: surgery, new drugs, violent bigots. So if I do receive some personal gratification, then that's my reward. I intend to write a book about it, someday. I'll send you a copy. Is there anything else you would like to know, Doctor?"

"Thank you again for coming in, Elsebeth."