- Non-Erotic Poetry
- sunroof naughty
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Click hereShe is fast on the errand
so fast
round corners, sun, stars
milky way beating
upon our laps
black steel and tight pants
slight blue this moon
a glow
whipped centrifugals
our lean
unfasten before parking
drive till you
can not bare my left hand
causing
your-down-shift
- COMMENTS
smack that hand, left away wild
unnerving at curves
freedom found in tachy ways
revolves around us,
mends us
break us, breaks down
your hand on my leg, shift
slowly into low
rumble grin and keep me
to yourself
You know I loved this poem, but the part in between centrifugals and our lean, needs a comma, or else centrifugals sounds like it comes right after... whatever I got lost there, but then when I read it again and again, I saw what you meant and rounded that sharp corner with you. This is a smooth poem that moves like it's on rails<to quote the movie pretty woman>.
nice job.
I loved the sound of this poem. I can envision most of it, but the sound clinches likability for me. The "our lean" part was confusing at first. Another litster had to explain it to me, but then I got it. Perhaps there should have been a comma before it. Other than that, I loved it.