The Ballad of Little Plum

Copyright Oggbashan August 2017

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.

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Little Plum was a sailor’s prostitute brassy and bold
As a girl she would never do anything she was told.

She would never have followed her mother’s advice
To study at school, to learn and be a lady that’s nice.

She decided there were better ways to earn a living
Even if that trade made her sins long past forgiving.

After the age of eighteen she had left education
For a sexual career entirely her own making.

She had learned so many useful things in her youth
To fight, to stand alone, never tell a policeman the truth

But she knew her greatest assets were her tits,
Her bum, her cunt and other interesting bits.

She knew the best way her assets to use,
To make money and to avoid men’s abuse.

When Roger the lodger wanted to be her pimp,
She kicked his gooleys until his todger was limp.

So she treated any man who wanted free tricks
They decided she wasn’t worth damaged pricks.

For ‘Little’ was a wholly inappropriate description,
Little Plum was large, tall, strong, fit and all action.

For a fee she could toss off a massive matelot bold
If he paid not, she’d toss him in the harbour so cold.

It was a very brave or incredibly stupid sailor
Who’d try to bilk Little Plum when he’d nailed her.

She’d kick him, stomp him, take all his cash,
Tie him in knots and be gone like Jack Flash.

When after decades of sex her assets were waning
She wanted a husband who would repay training.

She found an ex-boxer who was soft in the head
who enjoyed just submitting to Little Plum in bed

Together they bought a suitable quayside Inn
And let rooms upstairs by the hour for sin.

Should anyone refuse to pay the suggested room rent
Little Plum or her beau’s fists their message sent.

Little Plum, whorehouse keeper, made sex pay well
But pimps she detested, she’d damn them all to hell.

She turned the cellar into a dungeon grim and dark
Equipped with devices looking massive and stark.

One day she was whipping a fetish obsessed legal beagle
Who told Little Plum that she could sell sex and be legal.

If the whores worked alone with no man taking a slice
Little Plum would be a landlady and set her own price.

The Police could do nothing to a resident whore
And Little Plum could sit back making a score.

Little Plum now runs a semi-respectable house. That
Legally pays all her taxes instead of selling her cunt.

Little Plum started sex as a basic street whore
And now she’s a lady. There isn’t any more...