by Czarina
I thought there should should have been a little more going on with Dad and the brothers befor the daughter was involved despite it being her birthday.
Boring. Rape is never sexy, as the other person (far more articulate than me) put it.
I think there should have been more build up to the action, more hesitation from the daughter. Not anything brutal, but more reserved. That's just me though, great story.
She should have been seduced, instead of 'forced' into it.. A higher score would result.
Something like her brothers showing their penis outlines through their shorts, more kissing, and sneaky strokes on her body. Get her hot; not 'make' her hot. And father should have been first, to turn her on to sexual feelings for them.
This was the perfect fantasy for a twisted girl like me, Thanks!!
I'm sorry - but I didn't really think this was too believable. The boys are 19/20 and she is 23. Are we really expected to believe that she was meek as all that and the boys, who acted like kids when she told them to come in from playing, did it so meekly?
rape is sexy and after all they didnt hurt her she liked it just wish dad would come back for some more ..
let dad have her again maybe get her preg.
I agree with anonynous USA, would have been good for the father to have sex with the sons also, family orgy as such hot, hot
Boring, needs more detail. She wouldn't have laid there. B ohys were to imature.
It sucked, Rape is a crime, not sexy. The guys didn't act their age the story most likely not real.There are better ones on here.
uh it really sucked rape is just stuid and its a crime and the boys were imature and no sister unless they wer really messed up would like lay there and do that shit
It's not big and is not clever.
Rape at its worst. Made my stomach turn.
The worst incestous story I have ever read.
If that is the writer finds a turn on, he/she should probably be in a mental institute away from society.
Disgusting
although it seemed a sexy story it lacked detail it needed to be longer, and tht sort of thing just dosent happen! there are betta storys on ere u betta read them to get a good idea!
I do have to say one thing about it that I didnt like it was too short I wanted more, but the story was still very good, thank you I hope therese a continuence.
Your story is fine. You should have put it in NonConsent and you wouldn't have had the negative feedback from the people that don't like rape stories. Although it was about incest, rape was a big part of it also. D'Angela
First of all to the silly person who said "Rape is wrong it's a crime" Isn't incest also a crime? Isn't incest also wrong? you should think over what you are leaving on feedback, it is supposed to be positive feedback this means criticising points yes,...but only to point out parts the author should or could improve upon next time.
To rubbish a story just because you dont like a certain aspect of it, i feel, is very immature.
Now my note to the author,...Very good attempt! I have to agree with the comments on the boys ages, sometimes in a story i find it best to leave out ages and let people imagine for themselves, if you prefer to give ages i like to draw upon my personal experience of how i looked at sex at that age. Also i think a little resistance from the daughter is needed in this story to make a little more believable. All in all a good short story, hope to hear lots more from you! Nichola x
it was quite interesting actually at first it was weird made me wet.....
I thought this was a really good attempt! The only bad thing I do have to say is that it was a bit short and needed some more details, otherwise it was really good! It got me horny.
Too much back story, not enough action. When reading erotica, I guess I prefer to get to the nitty gritty pretty quick.
And folks who complain about "rape" and "incest" have no business being here. This is all fantasy. Nothing more.
Sorry, Czarina, there was nothing here about the girl and "her birthday". It was all about macho men and covert rape. Men saying how the girl liked it. Whmm! I wonder how they pleased her to assess that! This was just a re-run of a porno film I've seem, I think!
i don't know about the others who commented..but i loved your story...incest/rape is a great combo...I liked the whole thing...I just wish it was a little longer and that's only because i really enjoyed it...i hope i see more stories like this in the future..keep writing..i'll be looking for them...
this was a really nice story, the ppl who said rape and incest r crimes should really read this,they'd probably even get hot off this, at heart this is wut ppl want, rape and incest r truly a perfect combination, i wish there was more 2 read, and coz she was a virgin made me even hotter, thnx 4 the story, its great.
I have just started getting into the incest/ rape fantasy thing. I loved this story. I hope you keep writing.
The basic idea of this story was a real turn on but the writing did lack a bit.
Some parts were really hot but it needed more... I guess the word is depth, sexy but empty, you could tell it was amateur (no offense intended).
Not what it could have been. Lacks depth of emotion. Try again and you will have it
I loved It I really want too learn about It, I would'nt mind trying It.
This has got great intent, though i guess Darla's emotions are a bit too controlled, I think she would continue to fight for a bit longer, and I doubt she would enhoy it THAT much
Real hot story. A definite pussy soaker...at least for me. Keep up the good work.
It gave me a huge hardon. I really got into the story and could see myself fucking her. My prick got a lot of play out of this story. I read it three times in a row just for my pricks sake. I know I will read it again. Keep them cumming Czarina.
Hardon John
All I can think of at this point is Mercy! What a picture you painted. Need more!
i have always fantasised about several men fucking me at the same time and getting covered in cum, this story enhanced that for me.
You have a nice way of holding the readers attention and building a nice climax. smiles, noveltask
I have been reading these stories all night, and I ama mature woman, and I am so turned on by these stories. I will continue to read them as long as you continue to write them. I love family stories like that. also I would like to hear about animal's and their owners. having sex.
Oh my god i love this story........ I cudnt stop playin with myself. I am wet jst thinkin about it.
keep writin!
Happy Birthday sis! I've got 1 for you too. Well, I did. It's gone, now! I did have it, though. I thought that was a freat story Czarina. Keep writing about family loving. It's my favorite genre. This was one of the best stories in this classidication, too! I'm going to re-read it again. Nicely written, by the way.
If the man and his sons are going to rape her, why not follow through and make them hold a razor to her/cut her breasts or something? It may make you feel guiltier after climax. but it is what you want.
If only more families were like that. A girl could get all of the cock she wanted at home and then some.
I loved it... wish I had brothers and a dad.. and the virgin=blood doesn't necessarily hold true.. I lost my hymen when i was younger from horses when I use to help train them.. so when I lost my virginity .. there was no blood..
I loved this story, I wanted to stop reading, but could not help myself, I had to read on to the end! I am so fucking horny now! I would write more, but I can't, cuz I need to go now and masturbate the shit outa myself while imagining Papa and my two younger brothers fucking the crap outa me! MMM thanks! Keep on writing!
I remember my brother and dad fucking me one night....please don't stop writing them
It has slight potential, but seemed a tad unrealistic to me. There should have been more resistance and more detail. Also, some develoment between the brothers wouldn't go unappreciated. Maybe a family orgy with the dad and daughter as the focus, while the brothers do their own thing with each other. Altogether, if you are going to write a faily rape story you need to develop both the family and rape aspects more, or not use them at all. And I thought the ages were reversed. The daughter should be the young one.
This story was so exciting. I just loved the way that you described the father ... his attitude totally fit this story. I'm so wet right now ... I wish it was happening to me that I could have unlimited sex. Amazing story!!
Can't tell you how much I love this story. The more I read it the more excited I go. I just wish it went on a little longer. But it does it job.
this was the sickest shit i had heard aand read, oh god i hope you all rot in hell for thinking of such sick shit and fucking wastn time!
this was a good story, i enjoyed it, by the way if u think this is sick then dont read it, find something more productive to do, anyway well done keep them coming
This story is utter crap. The story line is unrealistic and the so called birthday surprise is nothing more than a gang rape and does not fit in with the loving family scenario of the opening paragraphs. The whole story is a confusing mix with the so called loving father punishing his daughter because of his wife leaving him. The story is also very poorly written. I note that the comments that voice approval of the story appear very similar in structure, could they be written by the same person?
Normally I would not comment on drivel such as this,but, the hate directed towards a loving daughter and sister is appalling. I can only rate this story as UTTER CRAP
Oh wow. This was so sick and twisted. I loved it. I got so wet just by reading! Well done!
This story is hot. I always cum when I read it while I play with my vibrator. great for those lonesome afternoons when hubby is away.
This story was great! I actually came while reading it. I only wish you'd gone into more detail, especially at the end when both brothers were doing her at the same time.
There were a few times when names got mixed up, and I think it would have been easier to distinguish between the three if they all didn't start with D's.
I'm a girl and this story makes me wish I was in the family! I love the fantasy of group sex with brothers, dad, uncles, cousins, etc. Please add to your story.
How did it go from campy story about family love to a gang rape? I didn't follow...
This is one smoking hot story. I found it very believable and I loved the hot sex that went on between the father,daughter and the brothers. GREAT JOB
Big Male Pigs! This could have been a great story with kindness and slow gental manipulation. I could have been sexy a loving.
Gang rape wtf..it was a horible story..from family loving it went 2 dispicable acts..filthy male pigs
Although I abhor forced sex, this story had an erotic core to it. Glad it was written by a woman expressing a rape fantasy, not by a man whom I might have worried was close to the edge in making his fantasy real. AND for the sickos out there who can't easily delineate fantasy from reality. rape is bad! When a woman says no she means no unless it is part of a pre-agreed, pre-arranged fantasy game and there are not many women out there who will play those!!!!
How can you others even think its disgusting? The author has expressed a potential rape scene into something beautiful, i never even thought of gang rape when i read this.... Darla obvisouly liked what was happening, silly people, each to their own i supose
if only i had a couple of brothers and a dad lke that...great story xxx
Disgusting. Not only was it gang rape, but your female character has been mentally abused most of her life. That is apalling
Not only did it go from everyone being caring to an utter gang rape and verbal bashing, it also was completely poorly written. Beside this story being garbage what is more shocking is the people on here saying that they wish they had daughters! Really you do? Wow..I can separate fantasy from reality, I hope most of the people on here can too....
I thought it was a good short story plenty of other people have commented on detail. I just wanted to say that it always gets my pussy dripping and I will read it over and over.
While the subject matter is controversial, you're going to hear positive and negative feedback. As far as the story itself, you rushed parts which could have used more detail (not graphically as far as the sex went), but background. It seems a little far-fetched that one minute she's trying to escape to she's right into it. That could use more as far as the character goes. You also rush the ending which is unfortunate. It makes me as a reader feel like once the initial sex scene was over you pretty much stopped caring about the story. You've definitely got talent, you shouldn't cut yourself off from a story though. It takes away from what you're trying to say.
im not even going to touch on the subject matter. everyone has their own tastes. the writing style was disappointing. you need to set up your characters a little more. we as readers need to feel an attachment to the family... the fact that it all happened so quickly and brutally leaves me feelin violated. ... in the sense that i dont believe darla was happy about the birthday lovin. however... your story is in the top list... so you must be doing something right.
I thought it was good but does need more detail you were rushing it a lil. But it still was a good read I think its rude there r people saying ur sick cause u went for a ruffer angle some of us like it that way and I really wouldn't expect people saying she is sick when most people think the whole idea of the fantsy is sick so that makes u sick 4 even thinking about it weather its soft and loving or ruff and hard
Would love to read more. I do not understand negative comments of those who say it is disgusting. They should have known when entering this section, that this sort of thing would be here. As for me, I loved it, I masturbated as I read it and came more than once. It was rushed alittle but the whole story line is erotic and I love it. Please write more!
I thought it was ok.. a little short, and akward, and while yes, rape is bad, this is *fiction* and it turned me on ;)
I loved this story...MORE PLEASE!!! I thought it was great and would love for you to continue the story.
Lots of potential but the awkwardness was a little hard to get around. All in all I dug the idea of the story though.
Rape, and a super-submissive wom--no, girl, despite her age--who is apparently doing nothing with life beyond cooking and cleaning for the men, and apparently now has "graduated" to being their fucktoy as well. Boring, not sexy and one of the most egregious examples of woman hating I've seen on here.
lame story, horrible writing style, under-developped characters... I could go on and on...
...and of course it had to be 11 inches, what else? And of course, being a virgin but horny, she had absolutely no problems adjusting to that.
Just stupid!
Seriously. This story is quite possibly the worst story I've ever read. I'm all for incestuous rape stories but there was no fight in it. What woman in her right mind for leave a guy who had an 11 inch cock to go looking for a new one? What woman in there right mind wouldn't fight against it at the age of 23 and knowing full well what was going on. I could see if you made it so in the begginning she always followed her fathers orders no matter what or something bad would happen to her but you didn't. This is one of the most under devoleped stories I've ever had the displeasure of reading. I almost stopped reading it but contiuned on in hopes it would get better. It didn't. I'm severly disappointed.
This story has the potentional to be good, but not with you writing it.
I have to disagree, I liked it, it really turned me on and didn't drag out like alot of stories do. I'm all for big dicks shoved in little pussies and every other hole :)
This story got my pussy throbbing! I come on here for some quick, sick stimulation, not an in-depth novel, so kudos to the writer for turning me the hell on! Now I have to go find something to take care of this :)
I will say the double stimulation thing at the end was quite unrealistic - but like I said, I want quick stimulation, not a literary debate, and this story totally works.
really not a very exiting story and actually quite abusive and not at all realistic so over all it was a waste of time
The story was hot but it didn't have enough action with the boys. She should have let the brothers each have a turn at her body. Maybe the dad and boys could have helped each other to cement the family as one. She could have taken control and made the rules of the new family on who did what to who and when. Remember that she who takes charge is the one who makes the rules.
great! fantastic writing! Will be hard for a week after reading this one. As someone who grew up in a family that practiced incest of all types, this story brought back many great memories of sucking and fucking with relatives of both sexes. I was the main bi sexual whore and the "clean up" person to suck the cum that was shot on and in the others. I began when I was a pre-teen by fucking my sister and sucking off my uncles. I really enjoyed watching my mother fuck all the guys while she was sucking pussies. She used to let me sit close to the action and watch her being fucked. I couldn't wait to get old enough to take her myself. Once I became old enough to really participate I fell in love with fucking her while my father, brothers, uncles or others fucked my ass. I very shortly became accepted as the family queer that would give me body to all, any time, any place, any way they wanted it. I became a dedicated full time whore just like my mother and sister. I pimped for them, sucked off their tricks to get the cocks hard and then sucked out the cum. I eventually I got into cross dressing and that added to the thrill for everyone, especially me. I began to feel that I was a woman when I was dressed and taking cocks in my "pussy". I loved it when my father was fucking "Tina" and the rest of the family watching and waiting their turn at me. Many times I'd have two cocks buried in me while sucking the pussy of my mother or sisters. I still, many years later, have sex with family as many of the family as I can as often as I can. I never married since I had no reason to do to. Sex with male or female family members was always available to me. I love it!
I am a huge fan of incest and taboo. I get wet when I think of my brother, and what I wish he would do to me. Loved it! More with tha brothers pls, it's kinda my thing. ;)
Lolita would love to be part of that family! Just hold me down and make me take it! Oh soo good!
My stepbrother fucked me last night when he read this. I was a virgin and he shoved his ten inch in me hard for two hours straight in my pussy and then another hour in my ass!!!! I would know cuz if the clock on the night stand
rape is fucked up nasty stupid and a major crime whoever thinks its sexy is fucked up in there head and there parents dropped them to many times on there heads