Almost Like Family Ch. 01

*Note that the following story is a work of semi-fiction, or maybe "inspired by a true story." Part is 100% true, and part is fantasy, and I leave it to the reader to determine which is which. Certain details have been tweaked to protect the "innocent."*

In the broadest possible sense, I guess Jeremy and I were "family," although we shared absolutely zero blood ties.

How so? Let me explain. I'm Trevor. My parents divorced when I was 6. My dad got remarried to my stepmom, who had a sister who was likewise married with kids. That sister got divorced, then remarried a guy with a son of his own--Jeremy. Make sense? So in the strictest sense, Jeremy was my stepcousins' stepbrother. Which made us... nothing at all.

For all that, we were still in each other's orbits, especially when we were younger. Since my dad had us on weekends, and my stepmom's family all lived close by, I would on occasion run into him, particularly at big get-togethers like all-family cookouts or the holidays.

I never knew Jeremey all that well... but what I did know made me cringe on his behalf. He was a couple years younger than me when we first met, like 8 or 9. His dad Gerald was a jackass, pure and simple--loud, opinionated, sure he was always right. A blue-collar man in a small town. Paleolithic in his views on gender roles, politics, minorities, city-folk... and pretty much everything.

The kids got the worst of it. He was harder on the boys, enforcing a brutal regimen of turning them into "real men." And he was particularly harsh towards his own son Jeremy. Nothing the kid did was ever good enough. Everything he did was a waste of time, and reflected badly on his dad and men-folk in general. Buying Star Wars action figures was "playing with dolls." If he got freaked out watching a horror movie, he was "being a pussy." Doing well at school made you a "dexter." Even when Jeremy tried to make his dad happy, he got dismissed because no one likes a suck up.

Jeremy essentially became the family scapegoat, ruthlessly bullied and just as ruthlessly told to man up about it. His younger stepsister, the baby of the family, became a princess who could do no wrong. Even as a kid, I could see Jeremy's brightness fade. It kinda shook me.

It was only a few years later that my dad took a job out on the west coast, and I pretty much stopped seeing Jeremy--or anyone from my stepmom's family. I was involved in school, sports, friends and the joys of growing up, and by the time I was in college I had pretty much forgotten about their existence.

Now, I was approaching my big 30th birthday, and I was feeling pretty damn good about my life. Despite a few false starts, I had a good job going with enough prospects to keep me interested. I had long ago put my pimply-faced-dork phase behind me, and had grown into my looks. I hope it doesn't make me sound like a douchebag, but I'm damn fine on the eyes. I also put a fair amount of work into my body and was not ashamed in the locker room. I had a sporty, Guy Next Door vibe going, and an easy-going personality.

Best of all, I had gotten married the year before, to an amazing girl named Liv. We were still in the honeymoon phase, although our sex life was no longer chugging along at the rate I would have liked it to. Liv was soft, sweet, and had a heart of gold, and I was lucky to have her. Okay, so I admit there were moments where I felt like I was getting just a bit domesticated. For one, she tended to think sports were "silly" and got pouty if I watched too many games. I was finding it harder and harder to hang out with my buddies. And, I had a hairy chest--and, um... hairy other parts--that she was always hounding me to go smooth because I looked like a "caveman." But these were minor things, and she really did bring out the best in me. Life was good.

But life sometimes throws you for a loop.

It started that spring. A few years earlier, my dad moved back to town, and restarted his tradition of hosting big, blow-out barbeques on the big marquee holidays. I didn't usually make them; you know how it is trying to balance spending time with divorced parents while trying to live your own life, and lay down some traditions of your own. It didn't help that he lived way out in the exurbs, and most of the family had a small-town mentality. They all seemed to think life in the city was a nightmarish cycle of gang wars, riots, arson, and babies selling meth on the streets. I mean, I got along with everyone generally, and no one was outright mean, but it was a bit... exhausting.

But after getting married, my wife started expressing more and more of an interest to go. She had commented that she was still somewhat bewildered by my dad's branch of the family, and eager to get to know everyone. She batted her big brown eyes at me, and I couldn't say no.

And so that Memorial Day, we packed up some homemade potato salad to pass around, and loaded up the car to make the trip out there.

Overall, it was fun, but a bit disorienting. Since I hadn't been there for many years, I admit I was straining at remembering peoples' names myself. But there was good food, cold beer, and it was fun to catch up.

At one point I was talking to my stepcousin Janey, and noticed this guy who was standing apart, like he was trying to fade into the wallpaper. Easier said than done... he was... well, he was noticeable. In all the right ways. And I say that as a happily married straight guy who never made it a habit of checking guys out. He was buff, with a great build--the kind that came from being a jock rather than artificially bulking up in the gym. Sharply handsome, with a rough, scruffy beard that gave him a slight bad-boy vibe. And really piercing eyes, although there was a certain... wariness about them. An All-American jock, right there in the flesh.

I... was curious. I mean, I was a bit rusty with people's names, but he didn't look familiar at all. I turned to my cousin. "Boy, I'm worse with names than I thought. Who is that guy? I swear I've never seen him before. Is he someone's boyfriend?"

My cousin looked over, then lightly punched me. "Doofus. That's my stupid stepbrother Jeremy. Remember, we used to play together? Are you really that clueless?"

"Aw, man... it's been a long time. Boy, he sure filled out." I thought for a second, but something tickled in the back of my mind. "'Stupid' you say? That's kinda harsh. What's his deal?"

"Oh, he's not an asshole or anything, just... you know, a boring, intense loner. Yeah, he's good looking and everything, but I'd never like set him up or anything with one of my friends."

Her dismissal seemed coldly out of character, surprising me. I changed topics slightly. "I remember his dad used to ride him pretty hard. All of you, really."

Janey sighed. "Well, I never had a problem with Gerald, but I know the boys did. Especially Jeremy. Jeremy never played his cards right." She didn't elaborate. Inwardly, I thought about the times growing up when I thought she was a bit of a pampered princess. Like as the only girl, she was the Golden Child of the family.

Ouch. That probably wasn't fair to her.

But I don't know that life had been all that fair to Jeremy.

It was... strange. As the party went on, I noticed that Jeremy was ever-present, but out of... phase... with everyone else. Like he stayed in the fringes. His dad was a loud, life-of-the-party kind of guy, but barely tolerated Jeremy's presence. Like Jeremy was always the one sent off to fetch something. No one offered to get him another beer, or asked if he was ready for another burger. There was a general air of... distain towards Jeremy.

Later, I ran into Jeremy alone in the kitchen. He was quietly nursing his beer. At that moment, I... I dunno. I felt bad that on a beautiful day outside, he seemed to be trapped in here, almost hiding. "Hey man," I offered companionably, "how goes it?"

He looked up, somewhat surprised. It was like he was caught off guard that someone was talking to him. Which made me feel worse. I went on. "You probably don't remember me, I'm Trevor... Steve's son. You're Jeremy, right? It's been a long time."

The initial surprise having worn off, Jeremy brightened. "Oh yeah. How are you? Yeah, it's been like... man, 15 years at least? Nice to see you again."

"Yeah, a very long time." Something inside me told me that he could use a kind word. "I gotta say, I'm not trying to hit on you or anything, but man... you look great. Seriously. I wish I had your build--what's your routine?

Jeremy gave a shy smile. "Wow, man... thanks! I...." He trailed off as he looked at me, now properly taking me in. "It really isn't anything special. I mean, you're looking good yourself. Mostly biking, I guess. I ride every chance I get."

"Really?" I responded, surprised. "I wouldn't have guessed that. I mean, all the bikers I know have tighter builds. I mean, they have crazy-ass leg muscles, but... you know, tiny little arms. You've got some serious guns, too."

Jeremy laughed. "Yeah, the biker's famous T-Rex look. Nah, I also lift to balance myself out. Just at home. I started when I was younger--it helped when I was, well... you know... getting bullied."

A bit of a dark cloud drifted over his face as he said that. Bullied. I didn't have to think too hard to consider where it came from.

There was a slight pause, but Jeremy pivoted fluidly. "It's good seeing you again. I don't remember seeing you at one of your dad's cookouts before."

I grimaced. "Yeah. I'm... terrible at keeping up. Especially after I met my wife. It doesn't help that I live like an hour and a half away in the city, and it's... just... you know. I end up feeling out of place."

"Oh no, I wasn't trying to bust your balls or anything, I just... it's...." He drifted into silence. "Well, I hate to admit it, but these cookouts are tough for me, too. I mean, not tough... I mean, they're fun and everything, it's just that...." He drifted into an unsettled silence.

I let it go. Instead, I raised my beer bottle. "To the misfits. Cheers!"

Jeremy shot me a smirking half grin. It looked good on him. "To the misfits!" he responded, and clinked my bottle with his. He looked at me, and his demeanor... softened. "So! You live in the big city? What part?"

"In Steward, do you know it?"

Jeremy brightened. "Really? No way... I work there! I've been living in the next neighborhood over, in Lincoln. I know the west side pretty well."

"Wow, I didn't know. What kind of work do you do?"

"A bike shop--Fast Eddie's on Lake."

"No shit, seriously? I live just a few minutes from there, I go by it all the time. And every time I do, I think I should stop in."

Without realizing it, I had said the magic word. Jeremy had been cordial, but the minute he heard I had some sort of a connection to biking, I was suddenly his best friend. I tried to backpedal, saying that I hadn't been riding in a long time--pretty much since I met my wife. He wasn't having it. He wanted to know all the details, and was adamant that I bring my bike in to tune it up so I could get back out there. I kept trying to back down, but Jeremy was insisting. Way too excited to let it go.

At this point, the mood changed sharply when Jeremy's dad Gerald walked in, apparently to grab a bag of ice from the freezer. You could just feel the contempt rolling off him, and Jeremy start to slink back into his shell he had only just now come out of. "God Almighty," Gerald sniped. "Is he going on about those stupid bikes again?" Gerald glowered as he pushed past us to get to the freezer. "Why don't you talk some sense into him, Trevor... no real man would ever go near one of those pansy-ass things after his voice cracks. I keep telling him to get a man's job, but there he is!"

I was taken aback. "Huh? What are you talking about? Biking is really taking off. And that shop is like an anchor of the neighborhood. And as they add in more bike lanes so...."

"Those goddamn bike lanes!" Gerald exploded. "You can't even drive in the city anymore, with these goddamn bike lanes. And no one ever uses them, anyway! Just buy a car for Christ's sake, and drive like a normal person."

"Sorry, gotta disagree. We need to get more people biking, and Jeremy's on the cutting edge. In fact, he's going to get my bike in shape, and then he's promised me some rides around the lakes!"

Jeremy looked at me. Gerald looked at Jeremy, then looked at me. I just gave them both a contented, happy-go-lucky smile. Finally, Gerald marched off... I think he was muttering something about a "bunch of pussies," but I let it roll right off me.

Jeremy looked at me, with an expression I couldn't quite place. Almost like a puppy. It suited him, making him... boyish. Like he was... I... I dunno. He looked good. And I got the feeling that he didn't have a lot of people stand up for him.

And so it began. Just like that, Jeremy and I became fast friends. Not just at the party, but afterwards. I realized that away from his shitty family, he was a totally different man. It was funny... he was so reserved, so wary when I first met him, and he still had a quiet streak to him. But once we broke the ice, he... like, gushed. Like with endless bounds of enthusiasm. He was a good guy... a really good guy.

Whenever we hung, we had an absolute blast. He was always up for anything, and spending time with him was just... easy. And pretty physical. Jeremy was not afraid to sweat. True to my word, I brought my bike in, and he got me pulled into the world of biking. I pulled him into my world, too... sucking him into a world of playing ball, paintball and a crapload of outdoor activities. We were close in terms of strength, drive, and stamina. He may have had a bit more bulk to him, but I'm no slouch. And knew how to push each other. It was a great release for me... something I didn't even know I needed as so many other parts of my life became tamed.

The more I spent time with him, the more I admired his form. He was... like, the perfect male. Shirts hung off his pecs just right. And fit well around his arms. A barrel chest dusted with the right amount of hair--looking masculine, without looking like a Yeti. And I'm not creeping on him or anything, but the guy's ass filled out his jeans perfectly, to the point that women openly ogled him... although he never seemed to realize it or care.

But Jeremy wasn't just some brainless hunk. The guy had the soul of a poet. Well... shit, that's not quite it. But he was... thoughtful. Amazingly so. And I mean that literally. I guessed that growing up he had a lot of time to himself, and he thought about things, with a curiosity that was contagious. While he physically looked like a mindless brute coming over to kick sand in your face and take your girl, he was completely the opposite. A quiet gentleman if there was ever such a thing.

A few months later, he had just started getting serious with a girl, and peppered me with questions about how to impress her, to make her interested him, that sort of thing, He was a hilariously nervous wreck. At one point, I laughed and said all he really needed to do was to rip off his shirt and show her that perfectly built, hairy chest. He thought I was kidding.

Funny... we'd known each other since we were kids. But it was only as adults that we clicked. In a few short months, he had quietly become my best friend. A guy I couldn't wait to talk to. Whose opinion mattered to me more than anyone but my wife. It's so weird, because like most guys I had a horrible time making and keeping friends after college. But there he was.

One day, Jeremy called me up with good news. He was finally ditching his roommates and moving into a place of his own. I almost wondered if he was going to move in with his girl, but he pointed out it was still way too early in their relationship. Besides, he had never lived alone. He had bailed out of his parents' place the first chance he could, but had to essentially couch surf with buddies until he found a job that could cover his rent. He bounced around from place to place, but always lived with other people. Now, he had found a "garden level" studio apartment fairly near his job. He was so proud... I could feel him glowing as he told me about it.

Naturally, I agreed to help him move.

The big day came, and he was joined by a pair of guys from his work. It was reasonably warm outside, and there wasn't much air in Jeremy's new place (he promised his first new purchase would be an air conditioner), so we stripped off our shirts as we worked. Given we were all healthy guys in our prime, we were able to take care of everything in short order. In fact, it mostly became a social hour as we went, with loads of inappropriate banter and us all busting Jeremy's chops. When we were done, Jeremy regaled us with the obligatory beer and pizza. It was a great time--better than many parties I've been to.

The guys headed home, but I told Jeremy I had still had time to kill and offered to put together his new Ikea furniture while he kept setting things up. He eagerly agreed. We worked some, talked some, drank some, and were enjoying life.

We were wrapping things up; I was surveying our progress, hands on hips, and feeling good. I looked over at Jeremy, to see him looking at me. Just... looking. He gave his trademark half-smile. It... always got me. He wasn't a cheery person by nature, and when he smiled his face just... lit up. It made me smile in return. He looked down, and I swear I almost saw... like... color in his cheeks. He gave a half-laugh, like he was laughing at a dimly-remembered joke.

"What?" I asked.

Jeremy looked up at me, not quite startled, but... kinda caught off guard. He shook his head once and grabbed for his beer. I persisted. "No, what? Are you... laughing?"

He didn't move at first, but finally looked up at me. "No, it's just... it's nothing. Stupid."

"C'mon, man... what, do I have like something in my teeth? What?"

"No," he chuckled. "No, it's just... I'm just... thanks for being here. It's funny, but I feel like I'm finally grown up... you know, a man. A real man. Got a job I love, a great girl, and I'm finally living on my own. And I gotta say, man... a lot of this is due to you. You... you're... it's like you're everything I want to be when I grow up. You know shit. You do shit. You fucking live your life to the fullest. And you've totally let me run along for the ride. You've dragged me out of my comfort zone. Kicking and screaming into adulthood. And you've just... been there for me. Letting me be me. It's been great. I'm used to being on my own, fending for myself. I was just... it feels good to have a partner in crime. Having... for the first time... like... a best friend."

I think this time, I'm the one who had color on my cheeks. "Ditto. I...." It was hard to finish. It was hard for me to wrap my head around things. Damn. The guy made me feel like a million bucks when we were together. Like we were Kings of the World. But I didn't know how to say that without it sounding... weird.

But I couldn't let what he said go. I gave him a half smile of my own, and pushed on. "I should be thanking you, bud. I hadn't realized how much I missed guy time. It was so great having a bud I could relate to. I don't know everything you've gone thru in life, but I know it's been a lot. Shit like that could make a guy hard. Mean. But you... it just made you strong. Stronger than anyone I know. I just wish I could be...." Man, I was starting to get all mushy. I tried to rein myself in. "It's been a blast. I'm just sorry we never hung out as kids."

"Thanks man. I ... thank you." Our eyes locked, in companionable silence. I felt... warm... in his gaze.

Well. "What are you thanking me for? I'm the lucky one," I said, trying to lighten the mood. I was too much in my own thoughts. "Well, one thing before we call it a day, we have to mount your TV. You game?"