An Improbable Couple Ch. 02

AN IMPROBABLE COUPLE Chapter 2

by DG Hear

Author's note: If you appreciated Chapter One, I hope you will find Chapter two even better, as we follow two young people seeking to define love, as well as if they want to and what it will take to build a relationship that lasts.

Chapter 1 ending

"Mary I've asked everyone here so I can formally ask you to become my wife. I figure we can be engaged while you finish working to get your diploma and then we can be married shortly after graduation. I realize that I'm still a young guy but I have shown that I am a responsible adult who can take care of his family and that I love Angelina and am a good father for her. I had never thought that we would ever date, but once we started dating and I really got to know you, I slowly learned to love you. Now that my love and commitment to you is strong. I always feel we truly are at our best when we're together. I want to take care of both of you forever.

"I realize we still have a lot to learn but as long as we have trust and keep the communication between us honest, open and strong I know we can have a wonderful life as a family. All I need now is an answer from you. Do you love me enough to marry me or do you want to keep going on as we have been? You know that I'll always be a good father to Angelina."

After giving my best reasons for us to become engaged now and married when she graduated in front of my mom and dad and her parents, the Jacobs, I was waiting for Mary to speak. We had all finished our dinner. It was very quiet at the table.

Chapter 2

Mary finally began, "Dallas, I really care for you but I don't think we are ready for marriage. There is no reason to rush. Things are moving along very well for us now. Angelina sees you a couple of times a week and stays with you most every other weekend. I am doing well at college and only have a few months to go before graduating."

"Your parents can see Angelina just about any time they want. I would never keep her away from her grand-parents. Your work is good but you are on the second shift. I know there is nothing you can do about it since you're one of the younger employees but you would never be home in the evenings, and I will be working during the day."

"All I'm asking is for you to just gave us some time till our situation improves. I have a good job promised to me after I graduate. I want to have a future too. We have plenty of time to get married later and in the mean time we can still see each other like we have been. At our age we aren't even considered adults yet. There are a lot of responsibilities that come with marriage."

"I think before we marry, we need to make sure that we are ready to meet all the financial responsibility that comes with marriage. All I'm asking is to just give us time. I'm sure it will all turn out for the best in the end."

I could tell that my parents and the Jacobs pretty much agreed with Mary. They each gave their opinions and agreed that there was no rush. If we were meant to be together it would happen. I ended up acquiescing to their wishes but inside my heart I felt broken. I hadn't changed my opinion that we were ready now.

We all left the restaurant and I headed to my apartment alone in real turmoil. As it was, I did have access to Angel and Mary certainly was a willing and passionate sex partner. But so much was missing. I wanted to share every day with them. I wanted to hold her and cuddle her every night even if we did not have sex that night. I wanted to feel loved 24/7 and not just once a fortnight. I wanted to hear about Mary's day and share mine. Perhaps I still had some insecurities because I entered the dating game much later than Mary and she had already had sex and even been in love. While it seemed thrilling at the time, the fact that she had sex with me on our first 'date' and then regularly thereafter made me wonder if she really understood love and could give me love like I wanted to love her. Did she understand the total unselfish giving and sharing that makes for a happily ever after marriage?

Then there was the origin of our first date. She had a tiff with her boyfriend over sex and then went on a date with me a few days later. On that date she led me into her bedroom for sex. In looking back, it seemed the purpose of the date for her was the sex. That seemed to be confirmed on the second date when she attacked me in my car for sex. Just what did sex really mean to her. Was she just satisfying a physical need? Was she just horny? Did she just like a lot of sex without any real commitment with her partner. Sex to me meant we were seeking the happy ever after commitment, sex to me meant a marriage commitment. It didn't mean being satisfied with what we currently had which seemed enough to satisfy her.

Of course, next I wondered, 'What if we had a tiff. Would she run off with some other guy for sex. What if I didn't even know she was upset, would she just do that, could I trust her?'

The more I thought about it Mary and our parents seemed to be telling me I was too immature to be married. But it seemed that it was Mary who was immature. It reminded me that even when I was young there seemed to be a double standard between what was expected of boys and what was expected of girls.

I mentioned before my mom would always say, "respect your sisters, always treat them nicely, don't argue with them all the time." She put the onus on me, because while my sisters did love me and probably would do anything for me, I think mom forgot to tell the girls that for relationships to be solid, respect must be a two-way street.

I had grown up in a home with a very good marriage and parents who explained things very well. I was sure I was ready. I guess the bottom line was that I was feeling both a lack of understanding from Mary, and in a sense, I also felt hurt by what I viewed as her rejection.

Over the next couple of months those thoughts persisted and left me feeling very insecure and even unsure about the things I had previous felt so confident about. The worst part was I did not know what to do, who I could talk with or how to approach it. Could I even talk about it with Mary.

The constant stories of their infidelities by my work mates made me think there was a world full of horny guys just waiting to nail Mary. I didn't want to be a possessive jealous person who tried to control his woman, but the negative thinking wasn't helping. I thought we had a beautiful love; we definitely had a beautiful daughter. Could I just suddenly lose it all?

Finally, I was able to cut through all of the hurt feelings and reached the conclusion that my biggest problem was that I was not feeling respected as a man by Mary, by my parents or by her parents. I was being treated as a boy and it hurt. But what to do about it. There were really two questions: How could I show them I was mature enough for marriage? If I loved Mary as deeply as I believed, how much did I have to sacrifice of me and my feelings to make our relationship truly work so we could live that happy married life I so desperately sought? Was I being selfish?

There was another day when a new insight caused me to deeply contemplate where we really were in our relationship. It had to do with what she said about our economic goals that bothered me. She wouldn't have to work. My job already paid well and it would not be that long until I would earn enough and save enough for our own house. It probably wouldn't be as big as her parents had, but it could have three or four bedrooms and a full basement to fix up over time.

The thoughts about the economics helped me to see that while I might feel ready for marriage, we really did have a lot to work out so we could build a marriage that would last like the marriages of our parents. It was just that I wanted to be with my family every day now and I didn't want to keep waiting, and worrying about losing Mary and/or Angel.

Over the course of the next months the familiar pattern changed. I would stop by to see Angel, usually twice a week, but I didn't stay as long. Sometimes I would pick her up and take her to my parents.

Feeling uncomfortable and lonely I started working more Saturdays to fill up my time productively. I guess it was a way of hiding and not confronting the problem. Several times I was so tired I told Mary I couldn't take Angel for the night. I would always take her for a couple of hours in the early afternoon before work. That of course meant that Mary and I wouldn't be having sex either. Now that I recognized that sex was an important part of the bonding for what I hoped would be a strong marriage I really missed it.

Mary knew something was wrong and felt that I was withdrawing some from her and Angel. I think she thought I was upset with her and doing the over time to punish her, that I was being immature and, in a huff, because I did not get my own way. That was of course so far from the truth. I was not letting what I could not do keep me from doing what I would to be ready to provide for my family.

Again, I didn't know how to talk with her about it because I was afraid if I did she would just get upset and go find a new guy and have sex with him.

Mary did ask me specifically about working all the overtime but I told her it was for the extra money I could make and save for our possible future, so she dropped the subject and we missed an opportunity for real understanding of each other's issues.

I asked my sisters if they talked with Mary and had any idea what was really going on. They said they only talked when she brought Angel over, but she did mention that she did go out with her friends from school.

When I finally asked her about it, it seemed she had an angry edge in her voice as she asked me if "I should just sit at home every weekend. Can't I just go out with my girlfriends to have a little fun." I knew that even though she wasn't old enough to drink one of the lounges served the college kids drinks. Some had phony id's but they usually didn't card them. I knew Mary drank wine coolers. I feared some guy might spike her drink and then take advantage of her like Ray had done?

It bothered me that Mary was going out but I could sort of see her side of the argument. I wasn't taking her anywhere and she had a lot of stress in her life, too. It had been a couple of months since we'd made love. I had promised to support Mary and Angel and since she lived at her parent's house, I gave Mary a hundred dollars a week to help pay for things for Angel. If she needed anything all Mary had to do was ask and I helped out right away.

Mary's graduation ceremony was coming up and they were usually held on a Sunday so I told her I would be there. I would even take Angel so she could see her mother graduate. All my family said they would be there. My sisters told me that Mary was going out with her friends to celebrate the Saturday before graduation. Mary did ask me to go but I told her I had to work, which I did.

Not being with Mary was really getting to me. I felt I was losing her and it was probably my own fault. I went to work on that Saturday and my fellow workers said that they were going to a lounge to unwind after work. I had hardly ever gone because I wasn't old enough to drink and I didn't want to get in the habit of going out without Mary.

This time I made an exception. Since I had turned twenty-one last week, my friends were taking me out for my birthday, even though it was a week late.

Our shift got off work at eleven o'clock. We drove over to the lounge and it was really crowded. My friend Mike said that a lot of the college kids went there and he thought they were celebrating their graduation the next day. They knew I had a child but had never met Mary.

It was really noisy and we could hardly hear ourselves talk. I was drinking my second beer when I looked on the dance floor and saw Mary dancing with some guy. She was dancing with him the way she danced with me. It hurt and kind of pissed me off. After the song ended, they sat down with about fifteen other students both men and women.

The band played a fast song and Mary got up and was really shaking her booty. A couple of guys were making passes at her and she just laughed it off. My buddies were looking at all the college girls and said, "there's some fine grade-A pussy there Tex, (yeah the name still stuck) you ought to go out there and get you some."

That stung! It reminded me that was probably the thinking of almost every guy there and I imagined Mary with a huge target painted on her back.

About that time the band played a slow song and one guy grabbed Mary and was holding her close. She happened to look my way and saw me sitting there. Her facial expression spoke a thousand words. I got up and told my buddies I had to go. I left without even talking to Mary. It would have to wait until another day. I was so devastated.

The following day I called Beth and asked her if she would stop by Mary's and pick up Angel for me. I would stop by her house then to pick Angel up and take her to the graduation, thus avoiding seeing Mary and her family. Beth asked me if there was a problem and I just told her I didn't want to bother Mary while she was getting ready for her graduation.

Angel was now a year and a half old and cute as a button. She always called me Daddy when she saw me and it made my heart melt. She sure was a handful but did I ever love her. She and Mary had become my life but it kind of looked like I was losing Mary. That made me wonder if I would lose Angel too.

The college auditorium was packed with people. My family and the Jacobs met up and sat together. I cuddled Angel on my lap and she soon fell into a deep sleep. As the graduates crossed the stage they got cheered. All my family and hers, except me because I couldn't seem to get Angel to wake up, stood up and yelled for Mary. It was emotional and I know I had tears in my eyes. How much was happiness for her and her graduation, and how much was sadness and fear I didn't know.

The Jacobs had a party for Mary. When I got there, I handed Angel to Mary. After congratulating her, I told her I was really proud of her.

She blurted out, "Dallas we really need to talk." Stunned, I could not read her facial expression.

I tried to make a joke. I kind of laughed and said, "Your not pregnant again are you?" because those were the words she said at her last graduation party.

Mary continued, "I saw you at the club. I was just dancing with classmates. You could have come over and let me know you were there. I didn't do anything wrong. You have to believe me."

About that time a whole lot of her classmates showed up for her party, both male and female. I just turned around and went home, thinking that if she truly loved me like she said, she could have come over to me. Why was everything always the man's fault.

I didn't see Mary for the next two weeks. She called me a couple of times but I let it go to voice mail. Mom went to the Jacobs and picked up Angel and took her to her house. I went over there to see her there.

Kim cornered me and said she wanted to talk to me about what was going on between me and Mary.

I told her that I loved Mary but wasn't sure Mary felt the same. I admitted that I had felt very rejected when my proposal for engagement and marriage was turned down. Then seeing her dance close with another guy had simply crushed me. "When I saw her dancing with her friends, and it was the same way she danced with me, how it made me feel when she danced with me it wasn't really special anymore. I guess she isn't ready to settle down, at least not with me."

Kim admitted that she knew that Mary had been going out with her friends, but thought it was always in a group and they were just having fun as a group.

"Dallas, don't be a fool Mary loves you, she really does. Don't throw it all away because of a couple of dances."

"Right now, I am so confused that I don't even know if what she told me about her past is true. I want to believe her but my mind doesn't work that way."

"Dallas, I know Mary as well as anyone. I'll tell you what she told me but you have to promise never to tell her I told you."

"I'm willing to listen."

"Mary was brought up having her way a lot. Her brother was six years older than her and kind of looked after her. She said she was rather smart and never had to study much. She told me she dated a lot but it seemed all they wanted was a piece of the head cheerleader. Some guys, to get revenge, because she wouldn't have sex with them, spread the rumor around that she was a loose girl. It really hurt her that she got the reputation of being easy when said she wasn't.

"She did say that she let a few guys feel her breasts but only on the outside of her clothes but they always wanted more. She did tell me that she only had sex with only two guys in her life before you dated and said she told you about them. She didn't want to hold anything back or lie to you. She thought she loved Rick but she now realizes it was more of a puppy love and soon wore off. She really said you were the nicest guy she has ever went out with and that is why she fell in love with you."

I said, "Kim, I'm confused. What does love mean to her? Why doesn't she marry me if she says she loves me? Then after refusing to marry me, she started going out with her friends and I saw her dancing with all these different guys and she was really shaking her booty."

"Dallas, she does love you. She says that you've been pulling away from her because she won't get married right now. You pretty much stopped seeing her and you have us pick up Angel for you. I heard all her reasons for wanting to wait to get married and I actually agree with her. After her graduation her stress level will be a lot less. She wants to start her new job and make some of her own money. She needs to feel she is a competent person who can contribute in their family businesses. It is the way she was brought up."

"She doesn't want to rely on you or her parents for everything. When you get married, she wants it to be a full partnership with contribution from each of you. When you went to the lounge you should have gone over to be with her. She really only wants to be with you. Show her you want to be with her, not just hope she knows it."

I felt like saying, "Well why didn't she come over and show me she wanted to be with me!!!" but I held my tongue. I knew how much my sis loved me and wanted what was best for me, and I didn't want to be stupid or stubborn.

That talk was a turning point for me. In effect Kim showed me how it seemed to others I was being a jerk and that if I truly loved her I needed to do what was best for all of us by being understanding of Mary's thinking about things. I went over the next day to see Mary but her mother said she wasn't home. She had started her new job at her dad's office. I was holding Angel and talking with Mrs. Jacobs. She was explaining about the family's business interests.

"Roger my husband manages two businesses. They are investment firms that also loan money and sell insurance. You met my son Brad, Mary's brother. He runs the second office. Roger has always wanted Mary to be part of the business. When she got pregnant, he was afraid she would give up being part of the family business. It was like the loss of a dream as he built the businesses for our children. That might be why he seems cold to you."

"I would never stop Mary from going after her dream. I feel so stupid. I love her so much and have been so afraid of losing her. I never gave enough thought to why Mary felt the need to go to work. Do you think it would be alright to ask her out to lunch?"

"That would be ok but you might want to wait a couple of days. I'll tell her tonight that you want to meet her for lunch Wednesday."