Blue Christmas

Christmas Eve

Galen sits alone in her office talking to her sister on the phone. Gail was decorating Galen's house for Christmas against her wishes. Deciding to go out and shop the rest of the day, Galen closes up early and goes outside into the cold. She gets into her Silverado and starts the engine letting it warm up a bit. She turns on the radio and flips the channel a few times until she finds "Jingle Bells" playing. That's a good song for shopping she decides as she heads out down the busy street to the freeway.

She knows there will be traffic to the mall, but she needs to go to the Art Gallery to get one last gift for her Mom. And while she's there she will look for some last minute items. It's is always best to have extra stuff. She didn't buy anything for Mark yet either. Then with a sigh she remembers that Mark is not with her. He needed time to think, time to get his head on straight.

She looks at the lights at the mall, already on during this cloudy afternoon. She wishes that things could be better this year, and that Mark was with her today. But she reminds herself that he wanted to be somewhere else. She feels the lump rising in her throat. It's not like she kicked him out. It's not like she cut all ties. She called him once a week. Well, the last two weeks it went to voicemail. She was left to presume that he had cleared his head and was with someone else.

She has to stop thinking about him so she busies herself while at the stoplight by flipping the visor down and fixing her hair. She pulls out her chap stick. It never hurts to protect her lips from the wind. She flips the mirror over the visor closed as the light finally changes. She just accelerates when "Blue Christmas" by Elvis Presley comes on the radio, and before he sings the second line she is in tears.

"I'll have a Blue Christmas without you
I'll be so blue thinking about you
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Won't be the same dear, if you're not here with me."

She pulls into the mall parking lot and drives up the ramp to the parking garage sniffing, not having the heart to change the radio station.

"And when those blue snowflakes start fallin
That's when those blue memories start callin
You'll be doin' all right with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas

Galen wipes her tears from her cheeks with her coat sleeve. She tries to calm her breathing so that she can get her errands finished. She looks at her watch. It's almost 3pm when she walks into the mall.

She gets herself something to eat and tries to shop. She goes into every store twice before she is finished and still does not feel like she is done. She stops to get her Mom's art framed and then moves on to get some of her other gifts wrapped.

While in line, she sees a pair of Ray-Ban's that would look perfect on Mark. She buys them without thinking. After they are on her Visa, she remembers that he is gone. Tears automatically well in her eyes. He is gone; she needs to accept it. She tells herself it will be ok, that she is strong and will not cry in public

She takes a deep breath and walks back to pick up her packages and then picks up her mom's artwork. She browses at purses. She picks her mother up a new leather Coach handbag and boys her sister a new pair of Jimmy Choo boots. She stops in at Abercrombie for some hoodies and bodywash for her girls and at Hollister for the boys' new coats. Her arms are getting full. She decides that she at least needed to put the packages in the truck. Then she needed just a few more things. She would run back into the jewelry store. Her mother always expected her to buy herself new earrings for her gift. There was a long line so she would just take the packages to the truck and come back she decided.

She steps out of the mall to find it dark outside and snow on the ground.

"Where did that come from?" she thinks to herself.

Then she realizes she has been in the mall for six hours. It's 9:00 pm. She finds her truck, puts the bags in the back seat, and starts home. About five miles from home "Blue Christmas" comes on again. She changes the station quickly. She can't handle anymore today.

She walks into the house and fires up her gas logs. She steps back outside to retrieve her last packages. She admires her sister's handiwork as she comes back through the house. The tree is lovely. She hung stockings on the mantel. She got out her wreaths. Everything looks festive.

Galen wishes she was feeling festive. She walks to the bathroom and strips down, deciding to take a shower before she watches TV. She gets finished and puts on her robe, goes to the kitchen, and brews a pot of chamomile tea. She tucks the pint of Bailey's under her arm, picks up the tea pot, and her cup. She walks to the den and sits down to watch Frosty the Snowman. She adds the shot of Bailey's in her cup before she pours the tea. She smiles to herself. She is drinking a little tea with her Bailey's tonight.

By the time she finishes her fourth cup, she is feeling sleepy. She pours another shot into the teacup and tops it off with her tea. She yawns, hoping for easy sleep. She does not stay awake through the movie. She falls asleep early.

In her dreams Mark is there with her. He comes in from the snow and looks at her sleeping on the couch. He removes his coat and shoes and puts them by the stove as he always does. He comes over and sits on the floor next to her, watching her as she sleeps. He softly kisses her lips, and she reaches for him, pulling him closer because she has missed him. She deepens the kiss, wanting his tongue. Galen pulls him up to touch her body, wanting him near, needing him closer to her. She opens her eyes, so glad he has come home to her. She reaches her left hand up to touch his face. Tears of joy fill her eye as she pulls him back to kiss him again. She automatically pulls his shirt from the waistband of his jeans, pulling herself away from him long enough to tug his shirt over his head.

He straightens his back and stands up as she then unfastened his pants and pushes them over his hips and down his long legs. He kicks them across the room as he grins down at her.

Mark kneels in front of the couch, not speaking. He reaches to open the front of her satin robe. He unties the belt and pushes it off her shoulders. He moves to kiss her mouth for just an instant and then moves his lips down her chin to her neck, making a trail to her breasts, and stopping to gently suck and tug on each one.

He moves his hands lower to her hips and gently pulls her to the edge of the couch. He raises up slightly moving his large body over hers as he enters her slowly. He keeps his pace slow, watching her reaction to his movements. She arches her back, wrapping her arms and legs around him as she comes. He keeps his movements slow causing her to peak again and again, not moving faster as she asks him to. He licks and nips along her neck and chest, enjoying the moans of pleasure that come from her. He rotates his hips from left to right making her arch toward him further. She smiles up to him, holding him in her arms. He instinctively quickens his movements. He increases his speed pumping his body into hers.

She moans as he drives his body into hers, faster and harder, her heart pounding. She pulls him closer to kiss him as she peaks again. She tenses up and bows into his body as her inner muscles clench around him one last time. Time ceases as she feels as if she will die from pleasure. He watches her face and her body jerk under him, his own breath becoming ragged as he comes within her.

Galen could feel sleep overtaking her. She wants desperately to talk to Mark. She could swear he said nothing the whole time they were having sex. She rises up to see him picking up his clothes and throwing them over his shoulder.

"Mark. . . " she starts.

He places his forefinger against his lips and simply picks her up and carries her to bed. He lays her down and covers her up with the duvet and then crawls in beside her.

Christmas Day

The sun was shining through the windows of her bedroom. Galen sits up and realizes that she is alone. Her head is pounding. Did she drink that much Bailey's? She gets out of bed to go to the bathroom and realizes her robe is still on. It was a dream. She walks into the bathroom and turns the light on. She opens the medicine cabinet for a couple of aspirins. She turns on the faucet and puts the glass under it. She only fills it halfway, drinks a sip and takes her aspirin.

She turns on the hot water in the shower and gets in. She decides that a hot shower might make her feel better. As she starts soaping she starts to cry. She simply stands under the water and cries. The hot water feels good on her back and neck. Maybe the aspirin will start working and her headache will be gone by the time she gets ready to leave for her Mom's house.

She is looking forward to spending time with her family. Finishing her shower, she decides that she is going to enjoy the day if it kills her. Life is not perfect. Mark is gone and she has to deal. She wishes that it wasn't a dream that he was really there in her bed. She misses having him to curl up next to. She misses his snoring. She misses him in general. She sniffs as she dries off and combs her hair out. She has family time today. She did not have time to miss Mark.

She is sure that her nieces and nephews will keep her busy with the Xbox or the Wii. Besides she is sure that Mark is not missing her. He is fine without her. If he does not call today, then she will accept that it is just over. It has been almost six weeks since he left, a long six weeks.

She looks in the mirror.

"I'm sure that I haven't even crossed his mind," she thinks as she wraps the towel around her body and puts on her house shoes. She pulls the hair dryer off of the shelf and dries her hair. She looks in the mirror again and realizes that she is going to need a lot of make-up today. With a sigh she walks into the bedroom to get dressed.

*

She nearly jumps out of her skin at the site before her eyes. Mark is sitting cross-legged at the head of the bed, no shirt nor socks, wearing only his Levi's. How did she miss his shirt lying across the cedar chest, and his shoes and socks casually tossed on his side of the bed? He has a tray with breakfast on it. He was in the kitchen while she showered. He stands up with this sly grin on his face. Galen begins to cry, tears scalding her face. She bites her lip as she walks over and touches his bare chest.

"You're not a dream?" she says.

Mark places his hands on her shoulders as he pulls her into his embrace.

"No, I am home Galen" he replies. She pulls back, his eyes narrow as he stares down at her confused look. "But you ignored my calls for the last two weeks" she sniffs.

He leans down, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I have been in Japan. I have been in the country less than 48 hours. I flew into Austin, spent the night with Mom, and took her out for breakfast and shopping yesterday morning. Then I caught a flight home."

She leans back against his chest with her ear pressed close to his heart. She can hear it. He kisses the top of her head as he rubs her back.

"I am glad you came back" she whispers. He looks down at her, now he is confused.

"Why would I not come back?" He asks.

She looks pale. Maybe she has not been getting in the tanning bed he thought. She looks up at him, her brown eyes brimming with tears again.

"I figured that you had decided to stay with her. I had decided it was hopeless." A tear falls down her face. "Are you still going to see her?"

He stares down at her, and for a brief moment she tenses. He feels it, and doesn't like it that she has braced herself. He slides his hand up slowly and gently wipes the trail of tears.

"I told you there was no one else, and I meant it. When I left, I needed to think. I did not leave here and go to someone else. That was not why I left."

*

She could not stop the tears. They fall silently.

"So you left because of something I did?" She is puzzled, "Why did you leave?" she finally stammers.

She did not want to make him angry. She really did not understand. If he did not leave her for someone else, then why did he leave? Is there something she missed?

"We will talk about it later. You need to eat," he says with a smile. "And you have to get dressed. We are running late. Your Mom expects us in 45 minutes."

He grabs his shoes.

"I have to go out to the truck and get my luggage." He put his shoes on, and starts out of the bedroom. He pauses to look back at her as he says, "Eat your breakfast." And he walks out of the room.