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In Fidelity Ch. 03

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High Fidelity by Nick Hornby porn parody.
3.3k words
3.33
3.1k
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Part 4 of the 9 part series

Updated 06/09/2023
Created 10/04/2018
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I'm in the downstairs section of my office behind the front desk, the next day when I overhear a conversation between the young feisty Alice and a male customer, middle-aged by the sound of him, and clearly not hip, savvy or sexually free at all; in the shop portion of the storefront.

"I'm looking for a dirty movie for my daughter, for her 18th birthday. The triple-ecks porn version of Schindler's List?"

The way this customer, spiked and pronounced the letter x... he didn't stand a chance.

"Have you got it?" He asked.

"Oh yeah," says Alice. "Course we've got it."

Now, I know for a fact our parody section is vey small. It has to be that way as there's just not a strong enough market for it on DVD sales. When people want to see superwoman getting fucked by Batman, they look it up online. The porn parody movies will be some of the first to fall to the influence of PornHub. I also know that I need porn parody movies to prove themselves through positive reviews before I'll buy them to stock them on my shelves. I mean, I still have a copy of Fatal Pursuit in the shelves I got the week I opened the store. It's got a 20c sticker on it and I can't manage to get rid of it. The reviews to the Schindler's List parody, Schindler's Lust, sucked major donkey dick. What's she playing at?

I go through my door to the store to see what's going on. Alice is still there, smiling st him; the guy looks a bit flustered.

"Could I have it then?" He half smiles with relief, as if he were a little boy who remembered to say 'please' at the very last moment.

"No, I'm sorry, but you can't."

The customer, slightly older than I first thought, is wearing a brown checked jacket with mahogany pants and light brown Oxford shoes with a floral brogue, she stands rooted to the spot. I didn't want to come into this place of perversion in the first place, you can hear him thinking, and now I'm being messed about?

"Why not?"

"Sorry?" Alice appears to have lost her focus to something on her computer screen.

"Why not?"

"Because it's a fucked up movie showing women tortured and sawed in half by Nazis and ape people, and an American soldier defeated by the SS! Do we look like the kind of store that sells that fucking glorifying the Nazis and torturing and murdering women sort of shit?! Fuck off, don't waste our time."

The old guy turns and walks out, and Alice giggles to herself.

"Alice, what have I told you about turning customers away? Always offer them something else." I walk down to stand alongside her. "Even if they've already bought something; digital, physical or personal, always upsell!"

"We didn't have what he wanted, I was just having some fun, and upsell? The man has clearly never paid for pussy or porn before in his life. I don't think I really cost you anything."

"That's not the point."

"Oh, so what is the point then?"

"The point is you upsell using every way you can. Make him think of you on his way out the door and all his drive home. Make him want to return to buy something else."

"You think a stupid old digger like that is going to be a twice a week regular?!"

"No, but... listen Alice, the shop isn't doing so well. I know we take the piss out of these old frigid losers, but it's got to stop the moment we leave the commonroom."

"Master... if we had the movie, I'd have sold it to him and you'd have been twenty cents better off. And you'd have never seen him again. Big deal. If he'd been hiding an erection I'd have gotten him to stick it in me and we'd both be a few bucks better off, and I'd happily be his weekly oral, anal or pussy; but as it was, that customer wasn't going to get us anything!"

I had to admit, she's got a point, but there's still a principle involved here.

"What harm has he ever done you?"

"You know what harm he's done me and girls like me, Master. He's offended me with his terrible taste, fantasies and fetishes."

"It wasn't even for his terrible taste. It was his daughter's."

"You're going soft Master. From what my sisters have told me of you, you'd be the guy chasing him out of the store and up the road!"

Again, she has a point, I just can't muster that kind of anger anymore.

Suddenly Alice's sexy maid dress is around her ankles revealing she's got nothing at all on underneath. She rests her whole body against me seductively. "Want me to help make you less soft, Master."

I looked down at Alice's small perfect body and beautiful smiling face and suddenly realised that I did. Now that's how you upsell.

That's how it came to be that I did a shift behind the cash register in the store, while Alice was on her knees sucking me off. Briefly, she bent over and I stuck it up her ass (with her height being an issue the additional in if height her ass had in this position when compared to her pussy was of great assistance), but soon enough she had me back in her mouth and sucking away with a smile and enthusiasm like she's been given the tastiest lollipop in the world, and everyone she knew had to watch her in envy as she slurped it down.

I brace my hands slightly on the counter as I feel myself inching closer to cumming. Suddenly her mouth is no longer on me and I look down to see her smiling up at me while she jacks me off.

"Would sir prefer to cum on my face, mouth or tits?"

"Mouth."

"Can I upgrade you from a spit to a swallow?"

"Definitely!"

Her mouth is back around my cock and it's doing even more for me than before, and she's maintaining eye contact with me the whole time. I watch as she sucks away at my member, and it isn't long till I'm having to physically hold myself back from taking her by surprise and ejaculating into her lungs.

I rap my knuckles on the table and Alice arches her neck slightly backwards and takes over wanking me with one of her hands. She then opens her mouth wide and places the top of my prick on top of her tongue, just below the tip, awaiting her reward.

I release my muscles and relish the familiar rush of oxytocin as I reach orgasm, and the exhilarating muscle spasm that results in Alice's tongue getting covered with my 'magic juice.' Her hand continues the jerking action on my shaft, and it's as if she's pumping my cock to produce each burst of semen she's happily receiving. When I have no more to give and back away slightly, she gives an open-mouthed big grin to me before moving her head around as if to show me my cum being all in her mouth from every angle. Now she tosses her head backwards and begins to gargle, before swallowing it all down and showing me her clean and empty tongue.

Tuesday night I reorganise my porn movies collection; I often do this at periods of emotional stress. There are some people who would find this a pretty dull way to spend an evening, but I'm not one of them. This is my life, and it's nice to be able to wade in, immerse your arms in it, touch it.

When Lust was here I had my porn movies arranged alphabetically; before that I had them filed in chronological order, beginning with Striporama, and ending with Pussy Passenger or Oil Explosion or whatever else I was masturbating to when Lust and I met. Tonight, though, I fancy something different, so I try to remember the order I bought them in: that way I hope to write my own autobiography, without having to do anything like pick up a pen. I pull the DVD and video cases off the shelves, put them in piles all over the sitting-room floor, look for Pirates and go on from there; and when I've finished I'm flushed with a sense of self, because this is, after all, who I am. I like being able to see how I got from True Love Stories 2 to Wet Dream Lesbian Threesomes in twenty-five moves; I am no longer pained by the memory of watching Outnumbered 5 all the way through a period of enforced celibacy, or embarrassed by the reminder of forming a blokes club at school, so that I and my fellow ninth graders could get together and masturbate watching Jenna Jameson in Virtual Sex With Jenna.

But what I really like is the feeling of security I get from my new filing system; I have made myself more complicated than I really am. I have a couple of thousand DVDs, and you have to be me - or at the very least a doctor of Flemingology - to know how to find any of them. If I want to watch, say, Girls' Dormitory featuring Blue Angel, I have to remember that I bought it for someone in the autumn of 2014, and thought better of giving it to her, for reasons I don't really want to go into. Well, you don't know any of that, so you're knackered, really, aren't you? You'd have to ask me to dig it out for you, and for some reason I find this enormously comforting.

A weird thing happens on Wednesday. One of my former girls, Jodie, comes in and I can tell right away she's slightly drunk, and tries to grab a handful of condoms.

"Are you okay Jodie?" I ask her as I level her on her feet and look in her eyes for pupil dilation.

"Are you married?" She asks me.

"I'm not, Jodie, no. You?"

She laughs to herself out-loud and drops the front of her singlet to reveal her big tits.

"You think I'd be in this fucking state or back in this fucking store if I had a husband?"

I stop and start giving Jodie a back massage like I know she used to like, but she spins quickly leaving my hands outstretched and groping her tits.

Alice was out in the lobby pretending to be dusting the floor she's crawling on, and I can tell she's paying very close attention to my conversation with Jodid after our interactions yesterday.

"I guess you wouldn't know Rob, would you?" Jodie continues. "You've always got a girl of some sort at home helping you warm the bed at night, don't you Rob? And now look at you! Bad haircut. Zits. Terrible jacket. Smelly socks. The only difference between you and me is that this place is still fucking you Rob, and I don't have to pay rent on it either!"

I used to get this sort of shit from Jodie all the time, especially after a slow week and she'd been drinking. Today, though, I can't take it, and I give her a look that is supposed to shut her up, but which she interprets as an invitation to abuse me further.

"Rob, I'm doing this for your own good. That's the worst fucking cologne I've ever smelt. I've never had someone I'm on speaking terms with voluntarily put on a smell that bad! It's a disgrace to the human race! It smells worse than what Karla and Latifa were eating in 2 girls 1 cup! Ass-lickers and sniffers would have it arrested for hate crime! Ass-hatters would take one sniff of that and..."

I get Jodie out the door and close it in her face, leaving her out on the street with her tits out for not the first time I'm guessing. The moment I turn back inside, Alice has rushed right up close to me. I look at her and she takes a big long sniff.

"I don't think you smell that bad. What kind of after-shave are you wearing anyway?"

"None." I look at her simply. "I'm not really trying to impress anyone today so I'm only really wearing anti-persperant."

"Okay. Well, you don't need any in case you're wondering. But if you do want a scent people will bury their face into, I could make myself wet and wipe my cunt on your neck?"

She says it so casually and I don't doubt for a second that she'd actually do it if I asked.

One of our BBWs, Miranda, comes backing into the lobby pretending to dust for cobwebs. The small white housemaid mini-skirt she's got on is doing little to protect her modesty from the back, with most of her big, curvy ass sticking out below the hemline of the piece of fabric wrapped around her waist. She may or may not be wearing a g-string underneath her skirt as well, but for all I can see right now it makes no difference.

A customer walks in and is greeted with the sight of Miranda's ass and immediately stops to adjust his crotch. On noticing his arrival, Miranda jumps around, causing her huge tits hardly concealed by a strappy bra to bounce around wildly.

"Can I help you, Sir?!"

The middle-aged man looks her up and down like she's the first woman he's seen.

"I uh... have a half-hour appointment with Chloe in the jacuzzi. But I'm wondering now if we'd be able to make it an hour, and if you'd be interested in joining us?"

I walk back in to my office and grasp Alice's hand so that she joins me.

I'm can't help but feel a slight boost at the change in duties and clothing I initiated has just doubled a booking length with double the women, and this is only the beginning.

I sit back in my computer chair, and Alice hops up onto my lap, curls up and leans right against me.

"Everything okay, Master?"

I feel exhausted, and Alice has been so good to me these last few days when I needed it. What's the harm in opening up to someone, I figure.

"Someone I was close with; my partner you could say," I open up to Alice slowly, "left me."

"A.." Alice looks up at me with big wide sympathetic eyes. "Do you want me to tell my sisters?"

"No!" I snap, before quickly catching myself and calming my voice down. "No thank you Alice. I don't think I want everyone knowing. Not yet at the very least."

I slump back in the chair and Alice reaches her arms up to caress my shoulders.

"Would you like a massage, Master?"

"Are you any good?"

She shrugs. "I'm told so. But I use my own techniques."

"Well okay then." I do feel a little tense after-all.

Alice slides from my lap and I close my eyes in preparation. I feel her tugging at my pants, and open my eyes and look down to see she's pulling out my cock, semi-hard from her having been sitting on it wearing a maid's uniform; and started to suck it.

I gasp slightly at the instant pleasure of her tongue softly licking all over my penis as her lips descend further and further.

"Oh, this massage," I sat with a smile. "Yes, I've experienced it before I think."

She looks up at me and stops sucking for a moment.

"I could give you one of my other massages if you'd like; but it'd leave my mouth free and I'll be prone to asking questions."

"You can ask questions if you'd like," I tell her plainly. "I can't promise answers to all of them though."

Needing no further instruction, Alice strips herself completely naked and climbs back onto my lap, effortlessly slipping my now fully erect dick up her tight, wet pussy. I don't think I'm detracting anything from her oral skills by saying that this is definitely my preferred method of massage at the moment.

I place my hands around onto Alice's pointy tits, and she looks back at me over her shoulder as she bounced up and down.

"What was her name?"

"Lust."

Alice smiles, "Nice name. Do you still love her?"

I think for a moment. "I don't know if I really ever did."

"Oh, okay. She sounds like a bitch and you're better off without her," she tells me as she continues to bounce up and down on my penis.

"What do you miss about her most?" Alice asks me about a minute later." This makes me think again.

"Just having her I think. Someone to go home to, someone to talk to, someone to split the bills with; the certainty, the physical support, the knowing, the company... the not being alone."

This makes Alice stop riding me and she gets off of me, then turns to face me and hops right back on, and starts riding more slowly.

"You're not alone Master. You have me and my sisters to come to work and see every day. We don't split bills with you, but we split our commissions with you to help you pay bills."

She's making some good arguments I concede as I wrap my arms around her and start to gently finger her ass.

I look across to the screens broadcasting from every room, and see Chloe and Miranda's big naked asses getting into the foamy jacuzzi water.

"I promise you can talk to me too Master," she goes on. "I won't tell anyone what you say; and I can keep secrets!" She smiles at me slyly. "My parents still think I'm a waitress." I smile at this too. It's nice bonding with someone again; in more ways than one.

"But I won't keep secrets from you Master," Alice goes on. "I like you, you make me feel special by believing in me. That's why I'm happy to be your physical support like right now! Whenever you need."

Alice has just said so many things to me that I'm slightly dazed at this point. She's just said a lot of good things to me, and while I don't think I'll have time to digest them all till much later, what she said was comforting, and I do feel a lot better; for myself and for having Alice here with me.

"Are you on birth control Alice?"

"No, Master. I used to but made me fat."

She places her hands on my chest as she keeps riding me.

"Don't worry Master, you can cum inside me." Her pace quickens and she's breathing heavily now. "I'm about to cum too anyway, I'll just take the morning-after pill."

I watch Alice's enhanced facial expressions and hear her loud exclamations of pleasure as she reaches orgasm. I release my muscles and feel my cock pump loads of semen inside her body, filling her vagina and leaking back out with her orgasm.

She smiles at me as she gets off of my dick and puts her hand below her pussy to catch all the jizz she pushes out. She's on the verge of pulling her hand away when she glances up at me. "Mouth upgrade?"

"It's like you read my mind."

She lifts her hand above her and leans her head back and tips all my cum into her mouth and licks her hand. She then gives me a smile and turns to walk out of my office.

"Take the cash from the till for the pill Alice."

She turns and smiles back at me.

"And if you're serious about being my physical support you might want to speak to your doctor about longer-term birth control."

She blows me a kiss as the door closes behind her.

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