Life with: Kat and Alejandro Ep. 11

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***

"Eat my pussy, please."

He chuckled heftily in her ear and kissed it gently. Kat loosened her hold on him when he started shifting. He pulled the sheets over his shoulder, connected with Kat's eyes and pulled the material over his head too. Kat watched his silhouette under the sheets and she could feel her ankles being pulled apart. She rested on her back, waiting patiently for him to start.

Her heart was racing. Her mind was threatening her with thoughts of Alejandro and her kids but she wouldn't let them ruin this. This was something she wanted—needed from Franco. She deserved it. Kat just had to keep reminding herself of that. Even if it would make entirely no sense to her the next morning.

She couldn't remember the last time Alejandro had touched her, let alone eaten her out. Her husband had essentially stolen her ability to pleasure herself, too. It was hard to get in the right mood when Alejandro got into bed after a day of not speaking to her, or she knew he would never come to bed at all.

Franco took his time, making sure to rub and kiss her thighs for a few seconds. Kat sat still, simply waiting. After the 5^th second, Kat leaned up on her elbows. She lifted the sheet to see Franco's face buried into her thigh. He was motionless, his fingers left dents in her flesh.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want you to be uncertain." He mumbled from the barrier of her body. He lifted his eyes and looked her in the face. "I don't want you to regret anything we do." Kat huffed out a breath as she collapsed back on the pillow behind her. He kept kissing and caressing her skin. "I can't ruin my chances. You know it's not about the sex for me."

This was so much more stress than it was worth.

*

Kat said goodbye to Franco and came back to her room. She was too exhausted to fret and worry about her mistakes as she typically did and for that, she was glad. Her eyes were transfixed on the plush bed and she crashed against it without a second thought.

Kat jolted awake at the sound of her phone ringing. She quickly reached around for it, thinking it could have been about the kids. She answered it without even looking at who it was.

"Kat!" Marlennys said. Kat could hear she was kind of annoyed with her. Kat was supposed to call her back yesterday but had been too preoccupied to get around to it.

"Hey Marlennys," Kat relaxed a little in bed. The sun was rising and the room was lightly illuminated. She brought the covers up over her face to muffle her sounds; this was around the time that Alejandro woke up.

"What's going on? How's everything going?" Her annoyance with Kat seemed to dissipate. Kat took a deep breath and tried to decide how she'd explain this to her best friend—or if she'd explain it at all. "Kat... What is it?" She missed the chance to not tell her, so she had no choice.

"I messed up." Kat whispered.

"What? How?" She was growing frantic. Kat was silent on the other end for a few more seconds. "You're scaring me."

"I cheated on Alejandro." They were silent for a few seconds. Kat could feel her heart thumping in her collar bones but soon enough, the feeling dwindled. Being ashamed of her mistakes wasn't something she had the right to do anymore. She had continuously made her own mess. Even when she knew the consequences, she still chose Franco.

"Kat..." Marlennys was speechless. She opened her mouth the start a sentence and she'd shut her mouth again. Her head was spinning. "I do not want to make you feel guilty. I know you and I know this is already a lot for you. You don't need me adding to it. So, you tell me what you want me to know and what you want me to say."

"Marlennys..." She started and realized she had no idea what she wanted her best friend to say. Kat could barely figure out what she wanted to tell herself. "I was in such a euphoric trance when I met Alejandro." Kat was staring blankly out the large window. Her eyes bypassed the scenery, the sunrise and clear waters. She was piercing beyond all sense of reality to try and relive the happiest moments of her life. "I had never been in love before. I had no idea what it felt like to truly care for someone. I loved how he loved his kids. I loved how he took care of his father. I loved his big heart. There was absolutely nothing I would change about him. And he promised me—"

Kat took a break to allow her throat to open again.

"He promised me he wouldn't let us fall apart." A tear had fell. "And to see him not trying to save us—not trying to keep his wife and his family in one piece, kills me. Every day is harder than the one before. I find it impossible to keep my head on straight knowing that my time with the Alejandro I knew and loved might be over forever. I have to work, I have to take care of our kids and I have to try and get this man to love me again too? And he isn't even meeting me halfway." Kat bit her lip. Marlennys sat quietly on the other end, waiting for her to continue. Kat appreciated the listening ear. She needed it.

"But I know I can't live without him. I am not making any excuses, but I found a well of strength that I needed." A pit stop along a marathon of fighting for her marriage. Franco would never be anything more than that pit stop. "I just needed an ounce of reassurance. I needed to feel something to have the courage to continue feeling nothing until Alejandro is ready."

Marlennys' breathing could be heard on the other end. Kat waited patiently for her to say something.

"I understand how you feel, sweetheart. I can only imagine how much it hurts to feel forgotten by the man you love. I don't for a second doubt that you are willing to fight tooth and nail for your marriage." Kat swallowed roughly. She was surprised.

Marlennys was such a wholesome woman. Kat was once so flattered to know that Marlennys thought the same way about her. However now, she couldn't help but feel branded by her infidelity. Her title had been tarnished. She was not on the same caliber as her best friend anymore.

Kat could hear shuffling on the other end of the phone. The 7 month pregnant woman was panting heavily through the receiver and Kat knew she was moving swiftly.

"Kat," She whispered. Kat was immediately intrigued. "I will not judge you if you decide not to tell."

Kat let out a sigh of relief she didn't know she was holding. A burden had been lifted off her shoulders. Her best friend was empathetic enough not to judge her.

"Thank you. Would you tell Jose?" Kat was curious. Marlennys sighed deeply as she thought over her options.

"Honestly, I would want to. But the consequences would haunt me so much more than keeping the secret, I don't think I ever could. You are spiritually broken, Kat. I know that under natural circumstances—with the love of your husband and family, this would have * never * even crossed your mind. There would be no man in the world who could get you to do this. That doesn't mean I approve—Don't see him again! But I understand."

"You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that. A piece of me thinks Alejandro would understand too. But I can't risk him. I can't lose him."

"And you won't. We are putting this behind us forever." She sounded so authoritative; she almost had Kat convinced that the worst was over. It would only get better from here. "Kat!" Marlennys yelled out a bark. "You cannot see him again; do you understand me?! You are lucky to have gotten this far, unfound. Do not push your luck or your son will likely pay the price." Kat was nodding unconsciously.

"I won't." Kat heard a noise in the living room and knew Alejandro was awake. "I gotta go Lennys, I'll talk to you later." Kat murmured.

"Okay honey, I love you! Talk to your husband today—let him know you still love and care about him. I will check on you later."

Kat quickly brushed her teeth in preparation to do exactly what she suggested.

She walked out of the bedroom in her nightgown and robe. Alejandro was standing at the window, staring out onto the ocean with a cup of coffee in hand. He wore sweatpants and a white tee-shirt that was a full size too small. She looked at his side profile and allowed her guilt to consume her.

How could she ever do this to him? He was fighting his own demons and she only risked adding to his pain.

Kat crossed her arms and took her place beside him. They both stood in silence for a few seconds.

"I love you." Kat told him. Alejandro turned his eyes downward to look at her crown.

"I know you do." She waited for an extra second to see if he would return the words. They never came. She turned to look him in the face. To her surprise, his warm chocolate pools were glazed over and staring directly into hers. His eyes told her he loved her too... right? She had to convince herself they did. He just wasn't in the right place to say it verbally right now.

"Can I kiss you?" Kat mouthed. Her eyes were pleading with him. She desperately wanted to touch him while he was awake. She wanted to kiss him somewhere other than in her dreams. And more than anything else, she wanted him to feel the same way.

He paused for a second. Kat swallowed her embarrassment and turned her eyes back to the window to try and forget she had ever made such a request. Alejandro halted her movements with two fingers against her jaw. He swiveled her head back in his direction and moved in for her lips.

Kat was motionless. For a second, her shock didn't allow herself to kiss him back. Shock and disbelief had literally kept her still. But she knew this was her chance to try and draw her husband out of this darkened soul. She used her lips to coax his love out of his depths and into her body.

His lips were just as succulent and perfect as she remembered them to be. She couldn't believe she'd gone nearly six months without his touch.

Her husband was kissing her and she couldn't believe it.

She coiled her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his.

He smelled like peppermint. That was his signature scent and she found herself sniffing into his clothes just to experience that small piece of him again. Now it was right under her nose and in the flesh.

Her eyes were shut tight, trying to savor every drop of his affection. Alejandro's lips were matching hers and she was creaming in her panties. She needed him. Her lust turned her affection into a ravenous hunger.

Kat deepened their kiss and used his neck to pull herself up his body. She moaned when she wrapped her fingers around his soft tresses.

Initially, Kat was too immersed in her own world to notice Alejandro had stopped kissing her back. He pulled away, breathing heavily from their kiss. Kat took that time to kiss him feverishly down his chin, jaw and neck. She let her hands wander over his strong, broad shoulders and down his chest.

"Kat," She heard it in his tone and she swore she could have screamed right then. Her dreams were beginning to fall apart at the seams. She looked up at the ceiling and asked for God to give her just a few more seconds.

"No..." She whined, kissing over his face faster and harder. She stepped a foot on the windowsill ledge and clasped her hands around his neck. She put a leg around his waist and held on tightly. It was a desperate attempt to keep him close for as long as she could.

He had stopped responding completely. His hands were nowhere on her body. The heat between them had suddenly cooled and Alejandro was frozen as a result.

He began pulling at her fastened hands against the back of his neck.

"Please..." Kat begged. Alejandro continued trying to get her off of him as if she weren't still spellbound by their kiss. He pulled at her wrists and pushed outward against her waist.

"Kat... I'm sorry." He warned again. Alejandro was strong, but Kat refused to give up without a tough fight. Her 'No's kept coming and she tried to keep her hold on him secure.

"No!" Kat croaked. She clawed over his body as he placed her on her feet. She left a scratch along his neck and had managed to cluster his shirt in her fist for just a second. "Alejandro!" She screamed after him as he retreated to his bedroom. Kat stalked toward the door just as he shut it behind him. She twisted the handle to find that it was locked.

"Baby!" Kat knocked roughly while her tears began to soil her face. "I'm sorry—I just—Just sit with me for a little. Talk to me!"

Her words got more frantic as she wiped the liquids away from under her nose. "I'm sorry! We don't have to touch p—please just be with me! Alejandro..." She banged on the door again.

"We don't have to kiss—I'm sorry! I'm sorry I kissed you that way!" She shrieked through her sobs. "I didn't mean to mess it up, Alejandro. I'm so sorry."

Kat could no longer support her weight and fell limp against the surface of the door. She slid down its length and pooled on the floor. She let her cries seep out into the empty space and she wondered if God could hear her then. She wondered if the pain she felt at that moment had made up for all the cheating she did.

At that moment, her heart was truly breaking into pieces.

*

She awoke in her bed.

Kat was stuck between the guilt of infidelity and the pain of rejection. It was her own personal vacuum of suffering that felt inescapable.

The sun was setting and she knew she wasted the entire day sleeping in bed. She groaned inwardly and shut her eyes again. It was time this trip was cut short.

She desperately missed her kids and her time with Alejandro was doing much more harm than good. Instead of bringing them closer together, it was pushing her closer toward divorce. The hotel phone rang beside the bed and Kat took a few seconds to reach for it.

On the third ring, she answered "Hello?" A frustrated huff filled the receiver.

"Are you okay?" Franco was clearly concerned.

"Yes, I'm fine." She said simply. Surprisingly, she wasn't in the mood for Franco. She wasn't in the right space to speak with him and she didn't think she could ever be in that space again.

"Did he hit you?" Kat groaned in annoyance.

"Of course he didn't." She sat up in bed. "Franco," She started her sentence. He was silent on the other end and she heard his breathing pick up. "I don't want to see you again. I'm sorry."

"I understand. I respect your decision." She could feel he wasn't done. They both paused. "Let me see you one last time. Tonight."

"No." Kat's reply was immediate.

"Kat, you need it. We both do. Then I'll try my best to forget you exist; the most perfect woman I've ever met." Kat bit the corner of her lip. He wasn't objecting to the end of their situation, he just wanted dinner one last time. He wanted to say goodbye and truthfully, Kat could not stand to sit around the hotel twiddling her thumbs and reflecting on her broken heart.

"A goodbye dinner." Kat stated.

"A goodbye dinner." Franco repeated with a tone of reassurance. "On the beach."

*

Franco was waving at Kat from the balcony of a yacht. Kat stood on the dock, smirking and completely surprised. When she was in the hotel's lobby, someone had escorted her down the length of the beach to the hidden ports.

Kat's dress flew around her knees from the night's breeze. She had her sandals in her hand to help make the walk easier. Franco's smile was infectious and he signaled for her to join him on the boat. Kat shook her head to herself as she ascended the small staircase with his help.

Franco gathered Kat around her hips and led her close to his body. The moon's illumination and the lights overhead helped make his beautiful eyes shine. Kat looked into the gaze of the man who had worked so diligently for her heart with no avail. However, that effort would always mean something to her.

Franco looked as if he were trying to freeze time and commit her face to memory somehow. Kat didn't mind the intimate moment. It was such a contrast to her previous feelings that she had welcomed the rawness with open arms. He kissed her passionately and Kat returned a comparable amount of emotion.

His kiss was deep and full of an angst that Kat assumed was due to the circumstances. He pushed his palms deep into her back and meshed their frames into one. He abruptly broke the kiss and moved his head onto her shoulder to catch his breath. She held him firmly in her embrace. She knew this was hard for him.

Franco had probably anticipated an easier pursuit. She didn't doubt that he wanted to move forward with the dating process because he was genuinely interested in who she was as a person. But he had misjudged just how much she loved her husband to think she'd give him up for a prettily packaged man. He had money, charisma and charm but Alejandro had her heart. He and Kat had a history and bond that a four-day vacation could never compete with. And that was something Kat had tried to tell Franco from the beginning. If he had underestimated that, she was not responsible.

"You okay, love?" Kat asked after the 5^th second of supporting the weight of a grown man on her shoulder.

"Just another minute." He told her in a small, boyish voice. She willingly gave him the minute he needed.

*

"I cooked this myself." Franco said proudly at the table on the boat's deck. Kat looked up at him with a smirk as she cut into her slab of steak. He had done a good job. Empanadas sat off to the side with entrees of steak, mashed potatoes and vegetables.

"Chimichurri too?" Kat inquired, her voice soaked in impressionability. She scooped some of the sauce out of the dish and onto her meat.

"My mother's recipe." He whispered. Franco refilled Kat's wine glass as she took a big bite. The steak was perfect; crisp exterior with a light pink center. The flavors of the sauce weren't overpowering but still delicious. She moaned aloud.

"Talented woman." Kat complimented with a smile. Franco returned it as he put the wine bottle down and sat back in his seat. He seemed to always take more pleasure in watching her eat than he did eating himself. Kat looked back onto the shore where the hotel was. They had ventured relatively far into the ocean but she didn't mind. The waves were calm and the air was about ten degrees cooler. The deep nearly pitched black blueness around them was breathtaking too. Hushed music played in the background.

"So you were supposed to run errands with me this morning." He started. Kat nodded knowingly.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry." Even though she had been dealing with her own problems, it was still inconsiderate of her not to let him know she wouldn't be joining him.

"I sent someone up for you. They called and told me they'd heard you crying." Kat continued eating her meal and didn't spare Franco a glance. She wasn't going to talk about this with him. He left a pregnant pause which Kat assumed was her opportunity to elaborate. But she wouldn't.

She sat her fork against her plate and lifted her glass to her lips—her eyes dead-set on his.

"We don't have to talk about it." He said after a few more seconds passed. She put her glass down contentedly and continued eating.

"But Kat," He started again. "It really bothers me that he makes you cry that way. The sounds—you sounded so hurt—"

"We aren't going to talk about it." Her cheeks turned hot. It was embarrassing to hear it replayed back to her with the emotion detached. The torment of her marriage was nowhere in his voice and it made it all sound so pathetic. She knew what her tortured cries had been for and Franco had no way of putting that emotion into his words because he had no idea how it felt.

"I would never make you feel that way." She rolled her eyes. For one, she'd heard that before. By the very man who was responsible for making her feel so broken. And she'd already told Franco the possibility of him ever having the opportunity to make her feel that way was slim to none.