My First Year in College Ch. 23

Tyler is a freshman student at Creepside College. Gay and closeted, he has some troubles controlling his urges surrounded by frat guys, sexy professors, his hot brother and most importantly, his stunning straight roommate: Austin. The story is divided into 2 main parts - semester 1 (ch. 1 to ch 12) - semester 2 (ch. 13 to ch. 24).

*****************************

My First Year in College.

Chapter 23: Property of Austin.

I guess that being involved in one sex scandal is ok, but two in just one semester, that's a bit much. First, I was having sex with my Laws professor, then, I was cheating on my boyfriend with my straight roommate.

Most of the people who supported me through the Fletcher thing seemed to consider I was a sex maniac now.

To be fair, I deserved all of the crap I was getting. Steve did love me. He had always been caring and respectful and I was cheating on him. I was fully aware of what I was doing and I did not even make that much effort in hiding it.

Austin was the one I was most concerned about. I felt like he was living what I had been through a few months prior: a non-consented outing in a middle of a scandal.

The whole situation was a mess. Steve and Austin were training together three times a week for football and wrestling, they had the same friends, they were part of the same frat, lived on the same floor, they hung together a lot. And now, everybody had found out that they were both fucking the same guy.

Awkward.

I would have asked Janice for some help but she did not appreciate what I had done, and took side with Steve. Again, I understood it very much.

I would have asked my brother for some advice, but he had just learnt that I had catfished him and he was probably hating me. I would hate myself too.

I would have asked Gary, but he was gone.

And who else did I have? The rest of the football team? Even if Martin, Luis and Henry were still friendly with me, they were objectively all closer with Steve than they were with me.

I had Austin of course. But what were we supposed to do now? He seemed worried about me, at least, as much as I was worried about him.

Austin decided he did not owe anyone any explanation and we tried to focus on our finale tests, isolated from the rest of the world in our room. We did not have sex though. Or did anything of that nature. We mostly studied or discussed harmless topics like sports or manga. Until one day.

"I don't think I'm gay". Austin said to me at some point, waking me up from my boredom, reading the same line from my history class for the hundredth time.

"Ok... Who says you are?"

"Nobody. Well, there's probably a lot of people saying that I'm gay, or at least, thinking it. But I don't care. They can think whatever they want."

Surprisingly, Austin seemed way more relax about people thinking he might be gay than I ever was.

"What's the issue then?"

"There's none. I've just been thinking a lot these last couple of days and I don't think I'm gay Ty. I don't think I'm attracted to men, in general."

What was he trying to say? That he was not attracted to men, at all, or was Austin saying he was only attracted to me? A glimmer of hope passed through my mind.

"Well, Steve is bi. He is attracted to both sexes. Maybe you are too, to some extent. This is not a big deal; you don't need to label yourself." I tried to reassure him.

"I don't even think I'm bi either... But Ty... It's not that. I don't really care about defining what I am or what I may be. I'm only telling you this because I don't want you to feel like I'm using you."

"What are you talking about? Austin, I don't think that you are using me. And I don't want you to think I'm using you either!"

I was not sure the conversation was going the way I wanted it to, but at least, we had broken the ice and this talk was overdue.

Austin was now looking at me with his piercing blue eyes. This was always unsettling.

"Look Ty, you have lost your boyfriend because of me... And I thought it was important... That I should clarify. I don't think I could ever be your boyfriend."

That was it then.

He was worried I would get my hopes up. He was worried that I had messed things up with a great guy, just for a good fuck with him.

"Oh... OK..." I did not want to look disappointed or to upset him. I searched for my words and said: "You know, I'm the one worried about you. I'm fine with what happened, everyone knows that I'm gay already and I've been through much worse anyway, but you, you had to leave the wresting team (Steve had given up his place on the football team and Austin had given up his place on the wrestling team), you had to break up with... with... What was her name again?"

We both busted out laughing. Austin had had so many girlfriends the past couple of months, it was impossible to keep track. Laughing felt so good.

"Cristina." Austin said with a smile. "I will dearly miss her."

"Austin, I feel responsible for putting you in this position. I was the one proposing that you... well... I quite literally asked you to fuck me."

"Maybe we could stop apologizing and blaming ourselves, we were just having fun and we knew the risks we were taking. To be honest, a big part of the excitement for me was the forbidden and secret aspect of it. I knew what I was doing."

That hurt me a bit, what he loved most was the secret side of this whole thing, and the secret was out now. I could feel Austin slipping through my fingers.

"I don't want to label you in any way you would not want to, but you did like it when we were having sex...? Right?" I asked, genuinely wondering. I had been asking myself those questions for the previous few weeks. I guessed this was as good as a time as any to get some answers.

"Yes! That did mess up with my brain a little but I did love it. Although, to tell you the truth, I loved it until that moment when you came on to me in the bathroom..."

Ouch, that hurt some more.

"Oh god... I'm so sorry Austin, I just wanted to try, see if..."

"Please, do not apologize!" He cut me off. "Why would you not have tried? We were having sex! It's not like I was not fully involved in it. It's just that once we were done with the wig and the make-up, I felt uncomfortable."

"Don't you think the blond wig was a stupid gimmick? I mean, who were we kidding with that?"

"I'm not sure how to explain it, I'm not even sure I understand it, but I was literally curious. I had never thought of doing anything with a guy. For me, jerking off with a mate did not mean anything... But you sucked my dick and I learnt that you were gay. Later on, I understood that you were into me, I just thought "where is the harm in trying?". When you proposed to dress as a girl, I told myself, fuck yeah! Let's do this! It will be like with any other girl unless this time, it will be even kinkier! You gay guys seem to have so much fun in the sex department."

"Good Lord Austin!" I said, rolling my eyes.

"Sorry, was that homophobic?" He was cute, genuinely wondering.

"No... Just... Please, go on. Go to the point. What are you saying exactly?"

"I'm not sure I have a point. I'm just saying, we had sex and I did love it! It was risky, adventurous, forbidden in a way... But then, when it started to become more than that, when I felt that you wanted more... It became weird for me. I thought it was because I was afraid of other people's judgement but I realized that what made me uncomfortable is the thought that I may be using you, that you may be expecting more from me."

Again, I did not want to upset him. If I started to cry or to lose it, it would just show that there were some truths in what he had just said, and I was not ready to deal with that.

"Look Austin, we do not have to make sense of everything. I knew you wanted to experiment, and I wanted you. Maybe we've just gone a bit too far. Maybe we can take a step back and see where we go from there. The most important thing for me is that we stay friends."

"For me too."

This, at the very least, was reassuring. He looked at me straight in the eyes and I thought of how much I loved him. I knew he was confused now. I had to give him space. I did not want to renounce completely to him.

"I'm really sorry about going too far in the restaurant bathroom last week, it was in the heat of the moment and..."

"That's fine man. I literally bought you a butt plug!" He chuckled.

"And a jockstrap!"

We smiled at each other and went back to our studying. Austin seemed more relax after our talk and got out half an hour later for football practice.

Lying in my bed, I was far from relaxed myself. I started to rethink everything: how Austin was asking me to stop in the restaurant's bathroom at first, how he was uncomfortable in the hotel's bathroom after we had sex, how he wrote in a forum post that he was into women but he loved that I sucked his dick, but also, how he had to close his eyes every time we did anything together until I was dressed like a woman.

Stupidly, I had thought that because he had ripped my wig off once, he was now into the real Tyler. But he was not. I thought his last barriers may have to do with heteronormativity, homophobia, fear of other people's judgement, but he actually did not seem to care at all. Austin did not even try to tell others he was not gay. He just told me, privately, so I could lower my expectations. What he just did was actually very considerate and it just made me love him more.

I guess he just wanted to experiment, and he did. And I had lost Steve. And most of my friends over it.

Shit. Was the sex really worth it?

To be honest, the sex was so good, it probably was worth it.

While I was going through the year in my head and all the bad choices I had made, for the first time that night, I seriously consider not returning to CreepSide College the following year. I had thought about leaving after the Fletcher's scandal but I was at the hospital at the time and I was surrounded by all of my close friends. After talking with Austin, I was thinking that I could take my tests and then start somewhere new, somewhere fresh. I was getting interested in psychology studies and had spotted a good College in another state.

Could I handle another year sharing my room with the man of my dreams while he was dating other girls?

I had to bury those thoughts as I had other pressing issues to worry about.

I spent the following days stressing about and taking my finale tests. I thought I did better than the first semester but I would advise against missing an entire month of school if you want to place among the top students of your year.

I stumbled onto Steve a couple of times while coming back to the dorms, he ignored me and I did the same. I had texted him. For once, I had tried to be honest. I explained without going in full details how it came to be, how my relationship with Austin was confusing, even for me, and how I could only own up to what I did. I did not have any excuse and I was sincerely sorry to have hurt him.

He did not reply. He did not have to.

I did find a surprising ally: after my English test, Ashley came to me, joking about the fact that we were now part of the same club of "people who got fucked by Austin this year". There were at least 20 other members around campus she said!

We had a nice post-test meal together and I felt relieved I could talk about what had happened lightly, without it being a whole drama. Ashley had cheated on Austin so I guess her "support" was not that surprising after all. She did not think for one second that he was gay, she said he could not have faked his multiples boners while they were just hugging or when she was wearing a large cleavage. Although, she thought that everyone was bisexual to some extent so she was not surprised at all that a guy would enjoy having sex with another man, if he was just open minded enough. I should have spent more time with Ashley, she was fun.

After the finale test of the year, I started to pack to go back to my parents' home for the summer. I had declined to participate in the "end of the year" party as I wanted Steve to be able to go without having to deal with me. I thought this was the least I could do.

I was actually thinking of my plan to apply in another College when Austin came into the room.

Austin was in a whole different mood, happy, excited even.

"Do you remember when you told me about how you'd love to get gangbanged?" That was an unexpected question.

"Uh... I guess..."

"Well, I think we can do it!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"It's my turn to bring a girl to the guys from the Frat and I thought you could be perfect for the job!"

"WHAT?" I jumped off from the carpet where I was sitting, trying to collect my stuff.

Austin could still surprise me then. What the fuck was he up to after the last conversation we had? One minute he was afraid he had gone too far with me, the next he was offering me as a sex toy to his fraternity brothers.

"Yeah! I thought you might like that!" Austin seemed genuinely excited but I could tell he was a bit nervous too as he started to scratch the back of his head, flaunting his armpits, as he often did when he was anxious.

"And they have accepted it?! Me?!"

"No! Better than that, the other guys actually suggested it!"

"Is this some sort of a sick joke?"

"No. Tobias said that I was the only one who did not bring any girl to the team. (Could those guys objectify girls even more?!) and it was my turn. When I told him I did not have any girlfriend, he told me I had you."

He stopped, realizing that he just compared me to one of his girlfriends.

"I mean... He told me that I was fucking someone, you. The whole College knows about it at this point."

"Austin, I know that Tobias is literally insane and that you are ganbanging girls every fortnight in your "ALPHA" (I rolled my eyes) frat but this is a whole new level. Are you all on drugs or something?"

Austin seemed disappointed by my reaction and took a more serious tone.

"I can call it off man. I mean, it's not even a thing yet. When they suggested the idea, they seemed so excited! I told them you were the best sex I had ever had but I also told them that we had to talk it through."

I felt a weird sense of pride for a split second, but then, I came back to earth.

"I guess they told you, or you told them, that the fags always fuck best? Uh?"

Austin did not respond. My guess was true then.

"Ok, I'll call it off Tyler. I'm sorry. I was just excited in the moment. I don't even know what I'm trying to prove to these guys. Forget about it. I should start packing too, I'm leaving in a couple of days."

Just like that, we changed the conversation to our summer jobs and to the mystery of the disappearing socks in our room. I was still keeping my desire to move away from Austin.

We went to bed wearing our boxers. We had not done anything merely sexual since the restaurant, almost 10 days before.

As I was trying to fall asleep, I started to think about the conversation Austin must have had with his teammates. This was ridiculous. Probably Martin was teasing Austin and making fun of me, picturing me performing a sloppy blowjob. Luis must have told them that he was there when Steve punched Austin and almost broke his nose. Henry was most likely casual about it, probably saying that we have to try everything in life. Crazy Tobias was seemingly very excited by the idea of fucking me.

I thought about Tobias' bulge. I had seen him in speedos. I heard all of the stories. I had thought of him as an inaccessible sex freak. And now he was actually proposing to fuck me. "Elephant man" wanted me, I smiled to myself.

I had seen Martin and Luis fuck a girl together, at the time, I had chosen not to enter the room. I had seen Henry huge black cock in the shower, "Big Boy" we were calling him. I had seen the rest of the football team on the field or during college parties. Each of them in the prime of their looks, always happy to show off.

Then, I was picturing the same conversation, the "APLHA" fraternity discussing the good slut I could be. Although, this time, in my mind, they were having this conversation naked. I started to get hard. I thought about all these guys jerking their big dicks off, thinking of fucking me.

"Austin?" I whispered in the night.

"Yeah?" He was not sleeping.

"When would that happen?"

"What?"

"The gangbang."

"Tomorrow night."

"Ok."

"Ok what?" He straightened his head in his bed.

"I want to do it. Let's finish this year with a bang. Literally."

Austin turned on the light and looked at me:

"Tyler, are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes, as long as you are there, I want to do it. You were right. I would love that. To tell you the truth, I had countless dreams about that. If I don't do it, I will regret it, all my life."

At the same time, my brain had made another decision. I would not come back to campus anyway. I had therefore nothing left to lose. But Austin did not know that.

"Fuck. You are serious?" Austin seemed really excited again. For a curious straight guy, he seemed really eager to fuck me with the rest of his football team.

"100% serious. But no wig. No make-up. If you guys want to fuck me, you'll have to fuck a guy. A gay guy."

Austin remained silent a few seconds, considering what I had just said.

"I'll tell the guys then! I'll get the whole thing confirmed. And I'll tell them about the safe word... The guys can be pretty crazy you know! I saw them do insane shit with girls. You know, Tobias is..."

I cut him off:

"If they are not crazy enough, I'll make them go crazier for me! You know I can be very good at this."

"Fuck. Ok then..." Austin marked a pause. "Ty, that's insane."

"Yes. I cannot wait actually!"

Less than twenty hours later, I was in the locker-room, waiting feverishly, only wearing the jockstrap Austin had given me on my 19th birthday.

I did not know much about what was going to happen but I was told to dress up in the locker-room. I still feared it would be a stupid prank but Austin told me he would come in first to "check on me".

Deep down, I knew this would only mess things up even more with Austin. We were no longer fucking and he was literally offering me to his frat bros. All of them were supposed to be straight. But for the life of me, I could not pass on the offer. Ever since I started to watch porn, I was jerking off to gangbang scenes, wishing to be the submissive boy at the center of it all.

I heard one door open. I was reassured as I saw Austin entering the locker-room, alone. He was wearing his football attire, looking sexy as ever.

"Are you ok?" He seemed as nervous as me.

"I'm excited."

"You're sure? You know those guys are going to get wild. We can still call it off."

"I am sure Austin. And I know the safe word."

"Ok then, I brought you a gift."

"Is it another jockstrap?" I said, pointing to the one I was proudly wearing.

"Nope... not this time." He searched in his pocket and got a tiny black box out, inside was a necklace. What the fuck, was Austin offering me a nice piece of jewelry? Was I about to become his boyfriend? There was something written on the front, with golden letters.

"Property of Austin." I read out loud.

"Just for tonight, this is something the other boys do when they bring girls inhere" he explained. "And only if you want to."

"Put it on." I said, offering him my neck.

The necklace was cold against my skin but Austin's hands were warm. He owned me, at least, for a night. If only it were for a life.

Again, I was weirdly proud of myself. I was the "chosen one", the one gay guy Austin and all of those straight guys had picked to fuck. I have to admit, I was very horny too. Just wearing a jockstrap inside a locker-room was sufficient to get me in the mood.