No One Died and I Am Not in Jail

"No one has died and I am not in jail"

The cheerful voice in her ear nearly made Beth throw her phone across the room. "Aaron. It is 3 47 am. What did you do?"

The cheerful voice of her older brother quavered for a second and the noise of wherever he was faded as he moved to somewhere a little more quiet. "Can you come get me?"

Beth detangled herself from sheets and the grumpy man on the other side of the bed grumbled unclear cuss words with her brother's name. She dug around for earbuds and glasses "Where are you and do I bring a vomit bag?" She pulled up navigation while she put on yesterday's jeans and stole an oversized shirt from the pile of clothes on the floor. "Right, I'm on my way, 15 minutes. You find a corner and sit on the floor, ok? Im dragging himself along. Not optional."

She listened to Aaron's protests and mouthed "sorrryyyy" to the man groaning even as he was already dressing and grabbing keys. Aaron sounded more nervous as he moved through the noisy crowd she could hear and then a 'whispered "thank you, sorry"

The early morning was chilly as they drove chasing their speed limit luck and pulled into a gravel parking lot with a scatter of cars but no sign of her brother's. She took a deep breath to settle the fear that always churned in her stomach when her brother called like this. "Right. Let's go get the bastard and get him home and sober." A pair of arms wrapped around her in a firm hug, and she rested her head on his chest and caught another breath

"He's a good guy, your brother the bastard," Dale said gently "We'll take care of him."

The bar was a small rural one, hovering between dive bar and local hangout, with a typical selection of hard core drinkers and long haul truckers from the dingy motel across the street. Some even looked like interesting characters with a good backstory. There were several corners but no sign of her brother, No one in either dingy bathroom.

Beth felt her fear becoming an iron taste on the back of her tongue when Aaron's phone went straight to voicemail, digging her nails into her palms as she waited for answers from the bartender and the customers. He had been sitting at the bar, spending most of the evening flirting with everyone present. He'd stepped out with his phone just a little while before,

The noise of the bar shifted into a disjointed murmur of people offering to help look for Aaron, the music and tv turned off and people started grabbing jackets and going out the main door.

Beth could hear her brother's name echoing outside and the sound of cars starting up.

She felt frozen in place, unable to move. The taste of iron was overwhelming now and the overhead lights were blinding her. She could feel her heartbeat pounding in her hands under the vaguely painful impressions from her nails. She noticed, idly that her vision was narrowing and thought casually that she was probably going to faint.

"Whoa whoa, love, let's not have you falling over, yeah?" she turned her head towards the worried man holding her up and nodded vacantly, letting him guide her to a booth and sit down. She let him pry her hands open and heard his hiss at the blood welling up from her palms.

She drank the hot sweet coffee he put in front of her, let him clean up her hands, felt his jacket go over her shoulders and then his arms wrapping around her to stop the shivers suddenly crashing over her.

"He's not here, he's supposed to wait for me." The world came crashing back into harsh focus as she heard her own whisper. The shivers eased slightly as the sugar hit her system and she took another sip of the coffee. "Aaron always waits, always. Dale,he wouldn't do this to me again he wouldn't,"

"No love, he wouldn't. But there's a whole lot of people looking for him right now, police on their way. We'll find him." Dale rubbed her arms, chafing warmth into her and she nodded. "You good? You back with me?" Beth nodded again, gulping down the last of the coffee and took several deep breaths.

Dale watched her face closely, she could feel the worry making his body tense next to her. "Good, better. I need to step away and make some calls so we can find him, I need you to sit here to manage searchers and be where he can call you, ok?"

She nodded again, the panic attack faded into fear she could focus and use. "Ok"

Dale searched her face again and then nodded, kissing the top of her head before he slid out of the booth "I'll be back, maybe an hour," She nodded again and then slid from the booth herself handing him his jacket, She nodded again, her lips thinning as she walked towards the bar to start coordinating the effort to find her brother.

The owners of the bar were generous, setting up coffee and sandwiches after the first hour, a couple power strips for charging phones and made a list of the regulars who had been in but left before Aaron had stepped outside. The cops showed up quickly enough, a Laurel and Hardy match, one wide and tending towards chubby, the other tall and lanky. They were gruff and professional, but nice enough, one or the other always stepping away to use their radios.

Beth wasn't sure how many times she explained her brother's PTSD, that he might be hiding, that he might not understand who they were or where he was, That if they found him to just keep track of him and come get her. Deputy FitzGerald settled her bulk by the bar door and made more radio calls and Deputy Godfrey spent his time outside making sure the volunteer searchers knew to send someone back if they found anything.

By the time it was fully light, the county helicopter was out and flying a grid, and the first wave of volunteers had been sent home to sleep. The bar owners had stumbled home yawning, but they'd sent their teenagers back to keep the coffee and sandwiches steady and leave the bar open. The motel across the street had opened their empty rooms to exhausted volunteers and sent across a note for Beth telling her to come and sleep when she could.

The phone rang, Dale checking in, He hadn't returned yet, but had called every hour to reassure her. His voice was rough and tired, tight with repressed anger as he told her there were no results from his end. He listened to her report of nothing, no trace, nothing for the dog to track when it and its handler showed up at dawn. "Did you eat?" There was worry behind that question and she looked down at the plate in front of her, with the uneaten sandwich glaring at her. "You need to eat, Beth. You are no good if you don't, You also need to go lie down for an hour or two." She muttered a grumpy yes and started to eat her sandwich. It was probably a very nice sandwich but she barely noticed. "Go sleep, Beth, when he needs you, you need to be rested," there was a long pause until he heard her agree and then a soft "I love you, I promise I'll wake you when i get back, but I have to go."

Beth carefully put her phone down, she'd filled Aaron's voicemail and resorted to calling every 15 minutes, and it wasn't time yet. Her hands ached under the bandages Deputy FitzGerald had delicately replaced, the thick hands oddly gentle and experienced. The deputy looked as tired as Beth felt, and Godfrey was no longer striding, but walking slowly.