- Loving Wives
- Not On The List (In 750 Words)
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Click here"It's about time you got home! Why didn't you call and tell me you were going to be late? Dinner was ready hours ago.
"Hey! Are you even listening to me? I'm talking to you!"
"Oh!" I exclaimed, a little surprised to find myself in our house. "Hi dear. I didn't notice you there."
"Don't 'Hi dear' me. Where have you been? Why didn't you call? You had me worried!"
"I'm sorry. I had the strangest conversation today and I'm still trying to come to terms with it."
"A conversation? Who were you talking to instead of coming home? What were you talking about?"
"Do you remember Theresa?"
"You don't mean that child that lived next door to our first apartment, do you? The one who had a crush on you?"
"She was 17 and a high school senior, so not really a child. Besides, we were only 21, so not even that much older than her, but yeah, that Theresa. It was my turn to make the afternoon caffeine run and I bumped into her at the coffee shop."
"So you spent hours talking to her instead of going back to work or coming home?"
"Oh, no, I only talked to her for about 5 minutes while waiting for the coffee."
"Then why are you just getting home now, so many hours later?"
"It took a long time to try and process what was said in those 5 minutes."
"Well, what did she say?"
"She told me that she still has a crush on me and wanted me to take her out on a date once the divorce is final."
"Divorce? Since when are we getting divorced?"
"Yeah, that kind of threw me as well. Let me back up and tell you the whole story."
"Hey Charlie. I've missed you since you moved. How are you doing?"
"I'm doing well Theresa. Between my job and a bit of home repair, I'm keeping busy. How are you doing?"
"I'm keeping busy as well. I'm in nursing school now. I also work part time at the health department while still living with Mom to cut costs. You should stop by and visit us some time. In fact, once your divorce is final, you should come by and pick me up for a date. I'm still single and you know I've had a thing for you since the day you moved in next door."
"What? I'm not getting divorced."
I was shocked as the happy look on her face morphed into disgust. "So, you're one of those, are you? Does she have you wearing a cage too?" Before I could respond, she had grabbed my manhood through my slacks. I don't think she was expecting what she found, because the sneer was quickly replaced by a look of shock and she blushed as my cock started to swell in her grip. She gave it a couple of loving squeezes before realizing what she was doing. "Oh! Well, whatever. I hope you're both happy." Her expression changed again, turning to sadness as she turned to walk away.
I grabbed her shoulder and turned her back around. "What are you going on about? I haven't understood a single thing since 'Hello.' Why do you think I'm getting divorced? You can't lay that on me, squeeze my dick, and then just walk away."
She looked a bit bashful and dropped her head, not able to look at me as she answered. "You weren't on her list, so I assumed you were separated. I just figured the divorce must not be final since she was still using your last name."
"What list? I still have no clue what you're talking about."
Her sad look perked up a bit as she looked up at me again. "Her sexual contacts list. When she was diagnosed with an STI, she had to provide a list of all of her sexual partners to the health department so they could be notified to get tested. She didn't list you."
"After dropping off the coffees I made a quick trip to the doctor's office where they were kind enough to slip me in for testing without an appointment. Then I went out to the lake and listened to the waves crash into the shore while I pondered the life choices before me."
My wife was suddenly looking nervous as she asked, "So, what did you decide?"
"I think I'll take her to that new Italian place we've talked about and then dancing."
- COMMENTS
I would think writing a 750 word story that has no plot holes is a very difficult task. You hit this one out of the park. Thank you.
That was brilliant. That deserves a more extensive treatment. How about doing a sequel for that, and a prequel maybe all in one? Excellent writing and style and characterization in such a short spot.
You nailed it again. Fun, silly and a great read while keeping it humorous. Thanks again.
Ash
I know how hard it is to write a good 750-word story. You're a champ! Thanks for sharing.
Good one . Seemed like more than 750, and that's a good thing. A rare 750 Five stars.
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JPB NOT BOB
- Then let me ask you this: Why did you? I put it right in the title that this was a 750 word story. It's also in the rosa-blanca.ru and shows as the official word count. If you don't like them, don't read them.
One wonders how many names are on her list. I'm sure he's glad he's not and won't be on any list of hers anymore. Great story. BardnotBard
Great Story.
The only bothersome point was her possibly losing out on nursing school for the HIPAA violation.
with a list - You missed at least one possibility...
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I wasn't sure either, so I asked him. He said that since the pill is only about 93% effective in the real world, they also used condoms every time (although he refused to say how often that was) and planned on him getting a vasectomy as soon as they were done having children. He's not sure if the exposure happened during a safe time in her cycle or if her lover simply refused to wear condoms. Either way, she expected he would be safe because of the condom use and thus figured she could get away with not telling him.
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Also, bonus points for including a Chicken Cordon Bleu reference (even if you said blue) to tell me you've read at least one of my other stories! That said, I will say if there is crossover between stories, so this was not the same wife that makes a perfect CCB. I know that will disappoint some folks who really wanted her burnt at the stake. Actually, is that why so many people were confused by "Her Turn - Finale"? Did readers think this was the same couple and they had gotten divorced prior to that story?
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Finally, because some commenters take my attempts at humor way too seriously, no I didn't actually talk to the character in my story. None of the stories I've written or am in the process of writing are based on actual people/events.
1) She lied on her list to keep her husband from finding out. Unlikely, since she’s obviously exhibiting symptoms
2) They haven’t had sex for a couple of months; including exposure, incubation and symptom arrival.
3) He wisely got tested but didn’t get his results yet.
4) She was informed of exposure early enough that she’s planning to secretly dose him with antibiotics. Maybe the first dose was even in the Cordon Blue!
I wonder which it is?
Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996: HIPAA, not repeat NOT HIPPA. Or did y'all mean HIPPO, the deadliest critter on the African continent? smh
For a 750, a good story. 5 stars. I'd have preferred a BTB from a longer one, but this one is OK.
Hopefully, Theresa will enjoy the Italian restaurant. Once she begins her prison sentence for unauthorized disclosure of privileged personal health information, there wont be any nights out for 5 to 7 years.
Well done flash story. Don't let anyone bully you into writing more, this story is 5 stars just the way it is.
Short and sweet. Now you need to make a part 2 where he burns the cheating slut to the ground.
Perfect.
We have a new 750 word Champion.
Your short works just keep getting better.
Would love to see what you could do with 10k Words.
Good on him! Not so good on the wife.
But I'm sure he'll do just fine with Theresa giving him all the TLC he'll need to move on.
Okay, I guess. Though, I'm wondering why writers even bother anymore. These short-ass stories are boring af because there's no time to develop anything.
Novel. No mention though of how he couldn't even be on her sexual contact list without there having been some mention of their troubled marriage.
750 word stories should have a different scale, but at least they are frequently well-labeled.
Good concise story!
Another pointless fragment of a story, with just a small body questions without answers, so almost useless: divorce ? STI ? What happened next ?
5 well-earned stars.
I really liked this essay.
Imagine what you could do with a part 2.
Have a nice day
... Seriously, though: Theresa maybe fun for a day or two, but, long term, she sounds too stupid to take seriously. Who the hell drop such a bomb on someone like that!?
Oh well. Nice flash nonetheless.
Looks like she made a decision, but didn't tell him. If she has a list, he shouldn't have the HO anyway! I'm coming, Theresa, honey!
- If you want me to take your HIPAA comments seriously, don't refer to it as HIPPA...
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- I appreciate the feedback, but I have to disagree with your conclusions. I've touched on the other elsewhere, so I'll just point out that HIPAA does not apply to anything her husband might have said and thus he would not be harmed in the divorce settlement for it. Instead, she would be harmed by displaying malice aforethought in hiding her STI and his possible exposure to it from him.
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- I do have longer stories I'm working on and will be posting. I had originally planned on only posting one or two before adding some full length stories but the thrill of letting others read my stories and getting feedback was a bit more addictive than expected, so I ended up focusing on the 750 Word Project going on. It will be over soon, which is good as I'm running out of 750 word story ideas.
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& - I didn't come right out and say it, but since Theresa wanted a date after the divorce was final and he's planning out that date, it's strongly implied that he will be getting divorced.
I voted 5 star. Hehe. It’s an easy reading story, but the plot is -at least to me- new. Hence 5 stars.
One of the best 750 I’ve read.i liked how story progressed. It started out vaguely and then it was all there!
Loved it, clean, crisp with a great (informed) ending (albeit tongue-in-cheek twist).
Nice.
It's always nice to see a writer's work improve.
You see it in this story.
A well worked (though short) plot.
And a good answer to the slut's last question.
4 out of 5 from me.
What a lovely fantasy and possibly the kindest way to learn your wife is cheating. I liked it.
Enjoyed the story, and you left room for a follow up. Thanks for your writing.
He should bring charges against the slut wife. She endangered his health. Go to the police, and fuck up her life!
ZK
- A good lawyer could probably get her off on this one. While she based her request for a date on HIPAA protected data, she did not actually disclose anything until after he gave her reason to believe that he should have been included on that list. It could be argued that she was seeking clarification of that point and it becomes a question of does HIPAA protect fraud that stops the health department from doing their job.
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- Unfortunately, he is still waiting for the test results.
2 stars. Who cares if you met the word count, we know nothing about the story.
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Maximum of 3 stars for 750 word scenes, this one earns a 2.
& - I'm working on longer stories, but I've surprised even myself with how much I'm enjoying the 750 Word Project. Don't worry, it's about to end for another year, and I'm running out of 750 word ideas, so I'll be focusing on my longer stories soon. They won't come out as quick, but I will keep writing.
, the legal problems are more on the wife that she didn't reveal all of her sexual partners, assuming she's fucking her husband. As far as Theresa revealing the wife's diagnosis, that would have been revealed anyway if she had put him on the list as she should have.
Wow. Major HIPPA violation. Why would anyone want to get involved with any one who has such a lack of morals and ethics.
The wife would have ruined her career. She would never become a nurse after that.
So much for HIPPA. I wonder how she’s going to like being sued. And he takes the word of a woman he hasn’t seen in 3 years without talking to his wife?
This story literally makes no sense.
Epilogue: Instead of a divorce Charlie convinced his empty headed cheating skank slut wife he wanted to make amends and start over. He took her on a nice vacation to Mexico where he was paid 5K from a Mexican cartel to own her whore ass. They made it look like a disappearance and they paid the cops to look the other way. Sweet wife now works in a Tijuana whore house. When the abducted her they let hubby give her a goodbye kiss. He laughed his ass off as she pleaded with him not to do it. He slapped the bitch so hard she saw stars. She screamed and begged as they led her away but he didn't give one flying fuck about the whore. He lived happily ever after. Her... not so much.
Too many holes make this tale too much incomplete to be enjoyable. This could have been a really good tale with at least one half page more. This excessive 750-words trend is destroying the quality of these LW tales.
Oh man.
The ending had more qyestions.
1. Did she tried to explain her cheating?
2 Did he divorced her or did the wife allowed him to have sex with any woman to even things up?
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I guess the writer wants me to make my own ending
Think you need to change your handle to 750 words only as far as I can tell that's about as much as you can write, short swift stories but does lack depth in all of them, try expanding more, try ending better and stock it our for crikes sake, 750 words are good as a starter but sticking to them makes it boring to read
The situation here is incomprehensible to me. Did his wife cut him off from marital sex and therefore not put him on the list? Then what kind of happy marriage is it? Or did she not include him in the list of her sexual partners in order to hide the fact of her venereal disease from him? But what's the point if, without his treatment, she will get the same disease back from him over and over again. Can someone explain to me the meaning of the plot?
Well it could have been a great story, too bad it was wasted on the 750 word cap
I don't believe I'm saying this but I just gave this 5 stars. It is one of the very, very few 750 word stories that actually works. Bravo to the author, this was genius.
Nice, short and to the point. The MC was lucky not to have had sex with her recently.
Not plausible. First, Theresa is part part of a medical practice and all patient information is confidential per HIPAA laws. Her divulging a client's medical information would be grounds for major lawsuits. The wife may still be getting divorced but she will be freaking rich from the divorce settlements and the lawsuits against the medical practice for divulging the information.
A total waste on 750. This one is so good it should have been a full length feature!! 5&FAV
So my question: did the poor fellow wind up with the gift that keeps on giving or not? That list is more important than what she ADMITS TO.
Nice, for a 750 word story, though need to ignoring a couple of inevitable plot issues like HIPPA (assuming that this is in the US). Also, he and wife apparently haven't had sex in quite a while (I have no idea of the reporting requirements, but maybe months?) if he's not on the list, so perhaps this shouldn't be a total surprise.