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Not On The List (In 750 Words)

Story Info
A Husband Discovers He Didn't Make The List.
750 words
4.49
47.2k
92
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"It's about time you got home! Why didn't you call and tell me you were going to be late? Dinner was ready hours ago.

"Hey! Are you even listening to me? I'm talking to you!"

"Oh!" I exclaimed, a little surprised to find myself in our house. "Hi dear. I didn't notice you there."

"Don't 'Hi dear' me. Where have you been? Why didn't you call? You had me worried!"

"I'm sorry. I had the strangest conversation today and I'm still trying to come to terms with it."

"A conversation? Who were you talking to instead of coming home? What were you talking about?"

"Do you remember Theresa?"

"You don't mean that child that lived next door to our first apartment, do you? The one who had a crush on you?"

"She was 17 and a high school senior, so not really a child. Besides, we were only 21, so not even that much older than her, but yeah, that Theresa. It was my turn to make the afternoon caffeine run and I bumped into her at the coffee shop."

"So you spent hours talking to her instead of going back to work or coming home?"

"Oh, no, I only talked to her for about 5 minutes while waiting for the coffee."

"Then why are you just getting home now, so many hours later?"

"It took a long time to try and process what was said in those 5 minutes."

"Well, what did she say?"

"She told me that she still has a crush on me and wanted me to take her out on a date once the divorce is final."

"Divorce? Since when are we getting divorced?"

"Yeah, that kind of threw me as well. Let me back up and tell you the whole story."



"Hey Charlie. I've missed you since you moved. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing well Theresa. Between my job and a bit of home repair, I'm keeping busy. How are you doing?"

"I'm keeping busy as well. I'm in nursing school now. I also work part time at the health department while still living with Mom to cut costs. You should stop by and visit us some time. In fact, once your divorce is final, you should come by and pick me up for a date. I'm still single and you know I've had a thing for you since the day you moved in next door."

"What? I'm not getting divorced."

I was shocked as the happy look on her face morphed into disgust. "So, you're one of those, are you? Does she have you wearing a cage too?" Before I could respond, she had grabbed my manhood through my slacks. I don't think she was expecting what she found, because the sneer was quickly replaced by a look of shock and she blushed as my cock started to swell in her grip. She gave it a couple of loving squeezes before realizing what she was doing. "Oh! Well, whatever. I hope you're both happy." Her expression changed again, turning to sadness as she turned to walk away.

I grabbed her shoulder and turned her back around. "What are you going on about? I haven't understood a single thing since 'Hello.' Why do you think I'm getting divorced? You can't lay that on me, squeeze my dick, and then just walk away."

She looked a bit bashful and dropped her head, not able to look at me as she answered. "You weren't on her list, so I assumed you were separated. I just figured the divorce must not be final since she was still using your last name."

"What list? I still have no clue what you're talking about."

Her sad look perked up a bit as she looked up at me again. "Her sexual contacts list. When she was diagnosed with an STI, she had to provide a list of all of her sexual partners to the health department so they could be notified to get tested. She didn't list you."



"After dropping off the coffees I made a quick trip to the doctor's office where they were kind enough to slip me in for testing without an appointment. Then I went out to the lake and listened to the waves crash into the shore while I pondered the life choices before me."

My wife was suddenly looking nervous as she asked, "So, what did you decide?"

"I think I'll take her to that new Italian place we've talked about and then dancing."

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136 Comments
26thNC26thNC3 days ago

Didn't waste any time getting back in the saddle.

NoBullAlNoBullAl4 days ago

There ya go!! Decisive, quick and positive action!!

CD1929CD192913 days ago

Oh yeah - see you later Slut.

Good Job 5 stars

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 month ago

Well done. Short, brief and to the point.

CaptFlintCaptFlintabout 1 month ago

I would think writing a 750 word story that has no plot holes is a very difficult task. You hit this one out of the park. Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 month ago

That was brilliant. That deserves a more extensive treatment. How about doing a sequel for that, and a prequel maybe all in one? Excellent writing and style and characterization in such a short spot.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Nice! Solid five star 🌟 story.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Well done, short & sweet!

Ed

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

Yawn. Boring.

SatyrDickSatyrDick2 months ago

[25.07.24]

A short, sharp, shot!

11/10!!!!!

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

You nailed it again. Fun, silly and a great read while keeping it humorous. Thanks again.

Ash

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

I know how hard it is to write a good 750-word story. You're a champ! Thanks for sharing.

AnonymousAnonymous4 months ago

Good one . Seemed like more than 750, and that's a good thing. A rare 750 Five stars.

/

JPB NOT BOB

oldtwitoldtwit4 months ago

Very good, kept that hidden well.

AnonymousAnonymous5 months ago

Funny as hell.

You keep writing them and I will keep eading them.

Thank You.

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

Pretty good. Thanks.

Calico75Calico756 months ago

Great concept! Love a good 750 word story!

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

A little masterpiece.

IWroteThisIWroteThis6 months agoAuthor

- Then let me ask you this: Why did you? I put it right in the title that this was a 750 word story. It's also in the rosa-blanca.ru and shows as the official word count. If you don't like them, don't read them.

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

neato spiffo

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

One wonders how many names are on her list. I'm sure he's glad he's not and won't be on any list of hers anymore. Great story. BardnotBard

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

Eh. Interesting idea. Execution needs work, even in the 750-word space.

waifwaif7 months ago

Great Story.

The only bothersome point was her possibly losing out on nursing school for the HIPAA violation.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

You got this 750 word thing down perfectly. Everyone a complete 💎

IWroteThisIWroteThis7 months agoAuthor

with a list - You missed at least one possibility...

-

I wasn't sure either, so I asked him. He said that since the pill is only about 93% effective in the real world, they also used condoms every time (although he refused to say how often that was) and planned on him getting a vasectomy as soon as they were done having children. He's not sure if the exposure happened during a safe time in her cycle or if her lover simply refused to wear condoms. Either way, she expected he would be safe because of the condom use and thus figured she could get away with not telling him.

-

Also, bonus points for including a Chicken Cordon Bleu reference (even if you said blue) to tell me you've read at least one of my other stories! That said, I will say if there is crossover between stories, so this was not the same wife that makes a perfect CCB. I know that will disappoint some folks who really wanted her burnt at the stake. Actually, is that why so many people were confused by "Her Turn - Finale"? Did readers think this was the same couple and they had gotten divorced prior to that story?

-

Finally, because some commenters take my attempts at humor way too seriously, no I didn't actually talk to the character in my story. None of the stories I've written or am in the process of writing are based on actual people/events.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

1) She lied on her list to keep her husband from finding out. Unlikely, since she’s obviously exhibiting symptoms

2) They haven’t had sex for a couple of months; including exposure, incubation and symptom arrival.

3) He wisely got tested but didn’t get his results yet.

4) She was informed of exposure early enough that she’s planning to secretly dose him with antibiotics. Maybe the first dose was even in the Cordon Blue!

I wonder which it is?

A_BierceA_Bierce7 months ago

Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996: HIPAA, not repeat NOT HIPPA. Or did y'all mean HIPPO, the deadliest critter on the African continent? smh

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Hilarious, I loved it. Short story, but great!

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Nice, a fun vignette.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Short and to the point.

xMulexMule7 months ago

4*

A whole "list?" What's to decide?

inka2222inka22227 months ago

For a 750, a good story. 5 stars. I'd have preferred a BTB from a longer one, but this one is OK.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Fuckin A!

Thank You!

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Suh-wheat !

Schwanze1Schwanze17 months ago

Gotta' love a happy ending. 😁

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Hopefully, Theresa will enjoy the Italian restaurant. Once she begins her prison sentence for unauthorized disclosure of privileged personal health information, there wont be any nights out for 5 to 7 years.

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