Of Heaven and Hell, My Side Ch. 02

It's been a while...but I'm back. Sort of. Have been working on other stories also and hope to be posting the others as well.

As with the others in this series, this Chapter is dedicated to my Muse across the pond, Catheath. This is for you.

I hope that you enjoy reading.

It seemed that I had only closed my eyes for a moment, but when I opened them, the room was filled with light. The sun was out and I was in bed with Zack. The memory of last night came flooding back. I had made love to Zack. I had taken him into my body. I had given my virginity to Zachary...my beloved.

I should have been filled with guilt and remorse, but for some reason I wasn't. I had a warm, wonderful feeling as I looked at my sleeping love. I loved this man and I knew that he loved me.

I got up on my elbows and gazed down at him. Then I looked closely and I saw numerous small scars on his chest and shoulders. My God, he seemed to be covered with scars. Most were small, but there were some that were a few inches long. He had been hurt, hurt very badly. I lowered my face and kissed his chest. I wanted to kiss each and every one of those scars, to heal them and make them go away.

I slowly eased the sheet back and saw his left knee. It was a massive scar, I gasped as I looked at it and my heart broke. My eyes filled and my tears fell. Zack opened his eyes and smiled at me.

"Oh Zack," I cried, "You have been hurt so badly."

He smiled at me and said, "It looks a lot worse that it was. The knee hurt but most of the others were nothing. The problem is, I'm so full of steel that I can't have any MRIs."

I tried to smile at him, but I am sure that it looked forced...it was. Then I saw that the bottom of the charm was missing, it looked like it had been chopped off. I knew that the piece of silver was buried in his chest. I put my hand on it and wept.

Zack took me in his arms and held me. He said, "I will always have a piece of it with me, no matter what."

He held me tight and I had my head resting on his chest. I could feel the strength in his chest and arms as he held me. I could smell his maleness, his scent and I loved it.

As I lay there, I heard him say in a very soft voice, "I love you Carol. I love you more than life itself. I want to be with you always, to spend the rest of my life with you."

I didn't move, just laid there on his chest and I said, "I love you my darling. I have never loved anyone like I love you. I want..."

I couldn't go on. I couldn't make that commitment, in my heart and in my mind I already committed to him. But I couldn't bring myself to say those words. It was like if I said them it would make it real.

I wanted it more than anything else but thinking and knowing is one thing and saying it, putting it into words was another. It was something I just couldn't do...I couldn't say it, I wanted to but...

Zack was holding me and giving me light soft kisses. Kissing my face, my neck, my shoulders. I loved it, my love was tasting me and he liked what he tasted, he just loved the flavor.

I got up on my elbows and leaned into him and kissed him. I kissed him hard, pushing my tongue into his mouth. I took his stiffening penis in my hand and began to stroke it.

He became fully erect in a second. I got up on my knees and brought my leg over his hips and straddled him, I had him in my hand and guided his erection into me. I wanted him in me. I wanted to feel that fullness again, to be connected with my Zachary in this most intimate way.

I slowly lowered myself until he was completely inside of me. I was sitting on his pelvis. I didn't move, I just sat there luxuriating in the feeling of my loves body. I knew that this was what I wanted.

I would make that promise to him, I would be with him. Soon...I told myself... soon.

I looked down at him lying on the bed. He was smiling at me. I began to move, rotating my hips, slowly lifting and dropping. Moving off of him and then being refilled with that wonderful tool of pleasure.

I then realized that I was in trouble...that I had become addicted to Zachary, Zachary, Zachary Miller, I wouldn't be able to live without him. I loved my Zachary.

As he just lay there, I began to feel the pleasure start building, I could feel myself slowly climbing toward the summit of that monondack of sexual joy.

As I rose, the speed of my loving increased. I could feel that Zack was joining me in our loving, that he was pushing up into me and that we were now working together, synchronizing our movements in an attempt to bring each other to the highest level of fulfillment.

It seemed that my climax was coming ever so slowly. Taking its time in building up, but I wasn't worried, I loved the tantalizing anticipation, I knew what was coming and I could wait. I knew it would be worth it.

I rode Zack like a jockey, he was my stallion and I was riding him like never before. I was a wild woman, just interested in one thing, our mutual pleasure. And pleasure it was. Although it was slow in coming, when it did it arrive was like nothing I had ever experienced before.

My whole body, my whole soul, my whole being was taken over by that most wonderful feeling. My orgasm was universal. Every part of me was involved, from the top of my head to the very tips of my toes. I was completely taken over by the joy and wonder of our loving.

We were joined, one in our endeavor to reach that apex of sexual delight. I knew that this was something that we could only reach together and only because we were one in our quest and totally committed to each other's feelings.

I shuttered and shook, the pleasure was indescribable. I could feel Zack stiffen up. He grabbed my hips and pulled me down onto his erection. He forced himself up and I could feel his penis begin to pulse.

I knew that once again he was filling me with his seed, that my Zachary was giving me his life essence. I lost all awareness of my surroundings, of what I was doing and was engulfed by the wonder and joy of our loving.

All too soon I came back to reality and found myself lying on top of Zack. He had his arms around me and was holding me.

I was laying there with my head on his chest, breathing hard and ever so slowly calming down. I loved the feeling of being in his arms. It was the prefect way to come down from the heights, just basking in the warmth of his love.

I held him tight, I wanted to become one with him, never to be separated from him. Then the hopelessness of my situation rushed back with a vengeance. It was like that angel that you always see sitting on someone's shoulder started in.

"What, you want to be with your lover? Is that what you want...SISTER Carol??? You are a nun...a religious...you want to be with Zachary...you, who dedicated your life to God...to God exclusively. You just ignore that, just like you ignored your vows."

"You my dear SISTER are a harlot. You are not worthy of Zachary...you are not worthy of the Order."

I am fully aware that I was talking to myself. I knew what I had done and the more I thought of it the worse I felt. Obviously, the guilt that I had avoided earlier, I could avoid no longer.

I began to cry. I held him and sobbed, "Oh Zack, I love you. Just tell me that you love me. I want to be with you. I don't know what to do...Oh my love...I am so afraid..."

Zack wrapped his arms around me even tighter and in a soft, loving voice said, "My darling, my love. I love you more than anything. I have loved you since I first saw you in that classroom in Baltimore. I will always love you."

"Carol, I don't want to lose you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to be with you each and every day. Carol, will you marry me...be my wife and take me as your husband?"

"I love you...I don't want to live if you are not in my life. I can't imagine living without you. I don't want to think of not being able to be with you. Marry me, my love?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew that he loved me...but this? I know that marriage is the logical outcome of love, but for some reason, I never expected to hear that.

Again the conflict in my heart raised its ugly head. I said, "Oh Zack, be serious...I'm a nun, we can't marry. Nuns don't get married."

He gave a little laugh, "Yes they do. They get married all of the time. And I want to marry you."

I was completely confused...it was of my own doing. I couldn't decide. I thought that I knew what I wanted...but... I squeezed him and began to cry.

Zack kissed my forehead and almost whispered, "A long time ago, I was in a difficult position and a very wise woman said to me, 'Go outside and come in again. We will start all over and make believe that this never happened.' So why don't we just start this conversation all over again and begin anew."

I just had to laugh and said, "I don't think that woman was so wise...just look at the position she is in. Look what she got herself into."

He had a huge grin on his face and softly laughed, "Well if truth be told...I like the position she is in. In fact she can stay in this position all day and I won't complain."

I giggled and lovingly slapped his chest. "Zack, you are incorrigible. Not that I don't like this position, but I really have to shower."

I pushed up and slowly got off of him. His softened member slipped out of me and I began to leak on him. He grabbed me, pulled me to him and kissed me.

I returned the kiss with lust and passion and then quickly slipped out of his arms and scampered to the bathroom. "Come, shower with me," I laughed as I got out my toothbrush.

He quickly got out of the bed and said, "How can I pass up an invitation like that?"

I went into the bathroom, took my toothbrush and began to cleanse my mouth. Zack came in and put his arms around me and started to kiss my shoulder. I handed him one of the toothbrushes from the hotel and said, "Here. Brush and then join me."

I twisted out of his arms and went into the shower. I had started the water when I first came in to the bathroom, so it was nice and hot. I just stood under the spray, reveling in the wet heat. I had had my eyes closed and the spray was hitting my face and head. It was wonderful, just the way I like it.

As I stood there under the spray, I heard the shower door open and I felt Zack come into the shower. I kept my eyes closed and he just stood next to me sharing the spray of the hot water.

He moaned, "Mmmm...just the way I like my showers...nice and hot."

Then he put his arms around me and holding me tightly to his body' he said, "Just the way I like my woman...nice and hot."

Then he began to kiss my shoulders with quick soft kisses, saying, "Delicious... scrumptious... mmm that's good."

I turned in his arms and mashed my lips to his. When we broke the kiss I giggled, "This is the way I like my man...nice and hot...and hard."

My god, I was becoming a wanton woman. Only a few short days ago, I would never have even thought of being even a little off color with Zack and now here I was showering with him, telling him that I was excited by his erection. What has happened to me?

To be honest, I didn't care. I was in love and was loved. I was happy.

He pressed up against me and kissed me. I could feel his penis getting hard, pushing into my thigh. Our mouths opened and I slipped my tongue into his mouth. He welcomed it with his and they danced.

He then put his hands on the back of my thighs and lifted me. It was like I weighed nothing, he didn't even seem to strain to lift me. I reached down and took his erection in my hand and guided it to the entrance of my body. Once again, I wanted Zack in me. Once again I wanted that feeling of love and pleasure.

He slowly lowered me onto his dick, spreading my vaginal lips until he was completely inside of me. I was in heaven, this was the most wonderful feeling in the world. I was being loved by my Zack, by my man, by the man who wanted to marry me, the man who I want...

Oh my God, then it just hit me, really hit me. This man, the most wonderful man in the world, wanted to marry me. All of my doubts, my insecurities just vanished. I knew what I wanted and I knew that he wanted me.

A passion like I have never felt before took over my body. I wanted to love him. I wrapped my legs around his waist and crushed him into me with all of my might. I tried to bring him into my body, to make him part of me.

Zack started to pound into me with a force that surprised me. It seems that as hard as I was trying to pull him into me, he was trying just as hard to force himself into me. We were going wild. Loving, mating, joining together as only those insanely in love could. And that's exactly how I felt, insane with my love for Zack.

My pleasure and excitement grew and grew until I thought that the ecstasy would drive me mad. I crushed my lips onto his and pushed my tongue into his mouth with such violence that I thought I would hurt him. But he met my violence with his own and we screamed. We screamed out our love, our pleasure, and our joy.

Zack stiffened and pushed into me and his erection began to throb inside of me. I knew that he was coming, that he was filling me with his essence. This push me over the edge into another mind-expanding orgasm and I screamed out my love and devotion for him.

As we slowly eased back into this world, Zack's legs began to shake and he lowered us to the floor of the shower. We sat there holding each other under the hot spray of the shower.

Finally, we got up and finished washing and got out of the shower. We dried off and Zack got dressed and went up to his room. I dressed and went to the hotel lobby. I found those talks that I wanted to attend and set off.

I attended three different talks that morning. They were all great. The first two were given by giants in the field. They were inspired and just sitting there listening to these wonderful people. The third was a young woman, who will soon be a giant.

I was surprised that the first speaker approached me and complemented me on my talk. We talked for a few moments and then he was called away. I was walking on air as I went to the next hall.

It was nearing lunchtime when I left the third speaker and walked through the lobby and out the front door. I saw Zack standing there looking out into the street. As I approached him, I saw that he had that "Thousand yard stare."

He looked over and saw me and gave a small smile. The huge grin on my face faded and as I looked at his face I became worried. Was he sorry? Was he upset about what we did?

Did he regret saying the things that he had said to me? Was his offer of marriage just a result of the lust and not love? I was frightened, had I been duped by my own feelings for him? I didn't know and I had to find out.

I took his hand in mine and we walked to that park we had visited before. We walked to the park in silence and found a bench. We sat and Zack was looking at the ground. It was like he was afraid to look at me.

I took his hands in mine and kissed them. In a voice so low that I was almost whispering I said, "Zack, are you sorry about what happened last night?"

Hi looked up like he was in shock and blurted out, "Oh God, no! It was the most wonderful night of my life."

I was puzzled, then what was wrong? "Do you love me?" I asked.

He finally looked up at me and in a almost sobbing voice said, "Carol, I love you more that anything. You are everything to me."

I was really puzzled, what was wrong?

He went on, "Carol, don't you see? Last night I took advantage of you. I seduced you into doing things that you would have never done. I made you break your vows."

Oh my God, Zack feels guilty for something that I had decided to do. He is worried that he took advantage of me. I felt so much love for him that my heart felt like it would burst. I smiled at him and took his face into my hands and pulled him to me and softly kissed his lips.

"Zack, you did not make me do anything that I didn't want to do. I wanted only one thing last night and that was to be with you, to love you and have you love me. I felt like I was the one who seduced you."

He looked at me with a smile and kissed me again. He gave a little laugh and said, "Well how about I take you to my room tonight and seduce you?"

"I would like that," I said and I leaned toward him and pressed my lips against his. The kiss lasted forever, at least I wanted it to. We got up and walked hand in hand through the park and around a small lake. There was an older man with a small child, who was about seven or eight years old. They had a sailboat in the lake. The man was watching as the child sailed the boat.

Naturally, Zack had to go over and talk to them. Soon they were talking about things that were a bit too technical for me. It seems that the gentleman was very knowledgeable about sailboats and sailing. Then the gentleman looked at Zack and said, "Do I know you."

Zack smiled and said, "I don't believe that we have ever met."

Then the man's eyes lit up, it was obvious that he recognized Zack. "Holy...mackerel, you're the Marsten Keel. I...I mean you developed it."

Zack blushed a little and said, "Yea, I worked on it with a friend..."

The gentleman grabbed Zack's arm and said, "I tried to put it on my racer, would you look at it?"

Zack smiled and looked at me and said, "Sure, let me see it."

We walked over to his other boat, which was on the shore, he picked up the sleek sailboat and handed it to Zack.

Zack turned it over and inspected the keel. He smiled and said, "This looks perfect, I couldn't have done a better job of it, myself."

The man smiled and told his granddaughter to bring the other boat to the shore. He lifted it out. He put the racing boat in the water and handed the remote control to his granddaughter and said, "Show the lady and man how you sail."

The little girl beamed and with confidence she guided the boat to the middle of the lake and raced it. You could see the concentration on the little girls face, she was sailing and she loved it. The sails stayed taut, she didn't allow them to luff.

After a while she brought the boat back to the shore, she had a look of triumph on her face and said, "Grandpa wants me to win the America's Cup some day."

Her grandfather blushed a little and Zack said, "If you sail a big boat like you sail that one, the others won't stand a chance."

The little girl giggled and said, "Grandpa says that I'm the best."

I smiled and said, "I can see why. And I'm sure that it's a totally unbiased opinion."

He laughed, "Of course it's unbiased I know greatness when I see it and you by sweet Gwen are the best."

We said goodbye to Gwen and her grandfather and continued to walk through the park. We walked and had a couple of hotdogs from a street vendor. They were the best hotdogs I had ever eaten.

I wanted to attend a talk at one and Zack wanted to attend one at two o'clock. We both went to mine and then we went to his talk. I enjoyed both, I understood mine but a lot of Zack's was above my head. But I loved it, it was everything that my love...loved. I was happy here.

After the talks were over we went onto the main lobby and talked to others who were at the conference and symposium. Many of the attendees at the conference had spouses or significant others at the symposium and vice versa. We were looked at as a couple and I didn't argue.

When we were asked how we met, we naturally told them that I had been Zack's senior home room teacher. Everyone laughed at us and said that we were full of it. We really didn't argue, we joked and made light of it. I was flattered that everyone thought that I was far too young to have been Zack's teacher.

He was a love and said he wanted to ask me to the prom but didn't. Everyone laughed at Zack. He just laughed and said that he was a bit slow but he had gained whatever he has missed before.