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Click hereBut it's been that sort of day, you know?
- COMMENTS
The story started well with your introducing some interesting characters. But then you went down the Rape/Cuckold route which is a complete turn off. I guess I should have read some of the comments before the story, as it's apparent I won't be the only one dropping this story two chapters in.
Must admit I get rather uncomfortable when a character is raped, which is what the "Great Menlo" is doing to each girl. I like the premise that he then delivers them to the one that they are really in love with and for that reason alone, I will carry on reading, but rape is rape and actively turns me off.
Subject says it all, you should have combined the 1st 3 chapters at least. If you are going to get anywhere anytime soon I'll probly quit like most of you are early readers do.
It's a relatable story and written well enough that time flies when reading it. Thanks for engaging my mind.
Reading about a pimp using girls before whoring them out is not what I was after. You nearly fooled me at the beginning. It seemed to be about a couple of lost souls, scared and shy, finally finding each other through the removment of her barrriers through mind control. But no, you had to destroy a really good plot for a sweet story making a man using girls like sluts humiliate them and cuckold the ones that the girls really long for. The only thing you probably missed was for the great hypnotist to get the girls pregnant and let someone else raise the children for him.
I'm so tired of always tune in on a story that seems promising just to find out that the author changes his mind or is not completely honest with the story at the beginning. Instead of a well written "vanilla" stories they turn into a swingers/cuckold/orgy/slut/whore/sharing nightmare. "Give you a gift". Yeah, right. Taking, ravage and completely destroy your beloved is more like it...
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Lonely_Seeker