All Comments on 'A Cabin in the Woods Ch. 1'
by Iva Biggun
- 9 Comments
I've read loads of these stories and this is definatley one of the best...A great bulid up wih proper character interactions and explanations making the final moments all that much more intense....loved every line of this.
8 inch cock--Wish you guys would GROW UP
I'm not sure why there are complaints about the size of the guy's member. At least it wasn't monster sized. All in all I thought it was a really good tale so far IB. I look forward to reading more.
Can't complain at all about how you described the seduction and the lead-in to the finale. It went through him noticing her, to thinking about her, to her teasing him, then them both doing it. Only thing is the joint didn't seem to add to the experience and seemed to just 'appear,' seemingly and unneeded addition. I would have appreciated the story even more, as the joint wasn't the catalyst for the action (this is why I say it could have been eliminated). I would have given this a 5 had you described his orgasms better, and what she felt upon getting filled at the end. That's sometimes the missing element to getting to a '5.' Thing is, you built up the rest of the story so well with describing her, describing her flirting and dressing up for him that I say "why get brief with description of their orgasms?"
Great story! Perfect pace! Lots of teasing, and then, bang! Right to the great sex scenes. Lots of details! Wonderful job! Can't wait to read the rest!
"The semester was finally over, and as a reward for all our hard work and great grades at college, our parents were sending my sister and I on a trip to ...."
Would you say: ".....our parents were sending I on a trip...."? No? I didn't think so. The sister & you are both obectives in this case and "..my sister and me ..." fits the bill nicely. If you said, "..so, my sister and I were being sent on a trip...." that would be fine because both would then be the subjects of the verb "being sent",
I agree the grammar in this story needs to reworked. Also, it became a bit tedious to read "Pammy and I" so many times. Maybe an editor would help tighten it up? Liked the premise though.
TOO BAD THE AUTHOR HAS BEEN INACTIVE FOR 10 YEARS. TOO BAD! AUTHOR IS GOOD.