All Comments on 'Curious Girls Ch. 01'
by precipiceofoblivion
- 12 Comments
First of all not grammar related. You mentioned Tamara is 18 and our main character is 21 so how is Tamara 5 years her junior?!
"It was if her breasts were struggling (to) free themselves, pushing snugly against her shirt. The thin, stretched fabric seemed (it) might burst open (at) any time. Needless to say, her shirt did little (to) hide her form."
I mean seriously, dude. Get your act together and get a damned editor. Epic fail.
Thank you for your response, Anonymous! Typo in your own title aside, I appreciate the feedback. The reason for the discrepancy in age is because I wrote the story prior to reading the literotica rules regarding stories with underage characters in sexual situations. The characters were originally a couple of years younger. I missed making a change in one place.
As for the typos, I wrote a good deal of this story on my cell phone. Sometimes I get going too fast, and somewhere between my phone and Google docs, words like to get left out. It seems I missed fixing a few. Although "epic fail" seems a bit extreme, I apologize if it decreased your enjoyment of my story. I will give the story another quick read before submitting a correction for the issues you raised.
As for finding an editor, I have been trying to locate an editor for a couple weeks now. Two individuals from the editors page failed to respond, and I have yet to get any volunteers in response to my post in the editors forum. If you (or anyone else) would like to volunteer to review my submission for errors or discontinuities, I would certainly greatly appreciate it.
Please note that In the future, private messages are also a great option when giving such feedback.
Thanks, again!
I'm not really into NonConsent or Lesbian, but not bad none the less. Despite the age error thing, I enjoyed it. Tammy seems to be a real bitch. I hope Sara get's revenge by the end.
I found this very hot. I think some forcer ass an pussy eating is on the menus. Tamara should black mail the older girl and force her to be naked and masturbate I front of her. Love this story.
Thoroughly enjoyed the story and the writing. The only aggravating aspect is the cliffhanger of not knowing what is going to happen now... but that is a general characteristic of any good story/book/movie etc.
You are doing something right!
she just won't learn if she explained y she was mean and stopped it would go away but she can't seem to figure it out
Forget bothering with an editor; don't write any more drivel about a fantasy of yours which is going nowhere.
PLEASE NOTE THAT IN THE TITLE OF MY COMMENT I WROTE "I'M CUMMING" AND NOT "I'M COMING" COMING IS NOT HOW YOU SPELL IT
IT IS CUMMING
SERIOUSLY LEARN
I’ve been coming on here for a LONG time. The first part of this story has my full attention and I’m very much looking forward to see where it goes - I’ve a strong feeling I won’t be disappointed.
This story is fantastic. Particularly since it is only the opening salvo in a series that builds and builds. Incredibly well done. Other than the ending couple of chapters, which seemed more hurried and less consistent than the rest, this series epitomizes why I return to Literorica again and again. Thank you Precipice of Oblivion! You are greatly appreciated and have a following.