All Comments on 'Femdom Breeding Prison Pt. 01'

Okay, this is by no means a bad thing when I say that this story must by oh so very far be the weirdest piece that I've come across here. And everything was very well explained - no ambiguities. There is definitely a lot I like about your story. A lot. Just don't like the women turning out to be like men in certain ways because of the testosterone. I'd go for extra progesterone and estrogen- treatment to avoid embarrassing behavioural patterns, like the skittishness:"Oh god, something moved 10milles away - quick, get my gun before we are eaten by butterflies!" Embarrassing.

Evebroughtanaxthistime

Ps make us another then?

Ignore the haters especially when they've got nothing constructive to add.

Personally, I'd rather the story be broken up more evenly into more understandable paragraphs and have it a little more expanded so as to give the reader a little breather every now and then to catch up with your explanations. The introduction of Alex, for example, seemed a bit sudden and out of the blue.

Also, sometimes it's better to 'show, not tell'. You don't have to highlight every detail/aspect of the story at the beginning. Let the story progress so that it unravels naturally on its own. It's also more convincing that way while adding a certain suspense/mystery to it for the reader. If Alex is submissive by nature, how is that shown in the story? In what way does Alex act that shows his submissive nature? Things like that.

This story theme has a lot of promise; but it feels like two stories in one, and both are rushed. I think it could benefit from a little bit more thought. Develop the civilization a bit more. Develop the characters a bit more. Maybe put this out as two independent chapters.

I also agree with a previous commenter. Why add testosterone to the women? You don't need to specify, but testosterone would seem to say it gave the women men's psychological problems.

Great storie so far

Interesting story, please do continue,

Cuntboys and chastityshit... I immediately stopped reading. Gay action is not my cup of tea.