All Comments on 'The Good Neighbor'

If this is a true story, it is presented very well. If this is fiction, it constitutes superb writing. Keep it up!

This is a very erotic story. If she was so hot for some good loving, perhaps her husband could not give her a baby is why they did not have any kids. If you keep fucking her while he is golfing, how long is it going to be before she wants to have a baby with you? Needs additional chapters.

The bruised groin was a nice touch to get the action moving! Your story was very well written, with a believable premise and a believable ending.

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What a great story and written very well to, it sure got me excited. keep it up.

w

Since she does not have any kids yet, perhaps you can give her the seed(s) to grow in her belly, and furnish her and her husband a family of sorts as you continue to fuck her in a continuation of this erotic story?

First - I really liked your story. I think the setup was great, the scene was plausible and the tension was building nicely as the eager lad was helping to move the furniture for his sexy neighbor.

But - at times you work to hard to paint the picture. Too many words, too many descriptive adjectives. Here's one that threw me: "She let me throb in her soft grip as she stared back beyond my misty eyes and into my mind. She swooped again and took me softly between her lips..."

I'm not sure if you're still writing (I hope you are), but don't work so hard and let the words "less is more" guide you. Inspire the imagination of your readers, don't try to replace it.