All Comments on 'Forbidden Love Ch. 02'
by Tin Man
- 8 Comments
you illiterate fuck! have you ever heard of the word grammar? do you proof read your stories when you're done? her fanny secreting vaginal fluid? what the fuck is that about? i couldn't even finish reading it! it sucked and so do you. take up sewing, leave writing to people that at least know english grammar.
Not at all surprised what happened in this great story,can you imagine them not fucking?
No sense of grammar or punctuation. The story is impossible to follow. This is the kind of shit that should be deleted from the site.
Although this story is erotic, it is hard to follow. A good edit could clean up the manuscript and it would become a grand story.
There needs to be a little correlation between the two chapters though, in order for the reader to be able to follow more easier.
With that said,I still enjoyed the read. Hot and erotic.
It's great that young Noel's gotten his fine fat cock up his own mother's fanny--I love that British word for a mother's cunt--and blown his young balls up the same fanny he came out of. It's where Noel's creamy semen belongs. What? Mom's not using birth control? Oh, momma, you're going to be grandma sooner than you thought. (Or at least I hope so.)
The basic concept is good but the actual writing is hard to read. My guess is that English isn't the native language of the author. At least some one should proof read before submitting new works.
Before you ever post again please learn the english language.it could of been a good story with correct grammar and sentence structure.if you still check this after all this time I hope you will take my advice to heart.