- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Your Back Gate
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Beyond the river, past footprints onshore
you’ll see me there: my back is brown - and wet
from sweat I’ve shed shoveling your shit.
You’ll see me as I breathe the leaden dust
and wade the toxic mud as I rebuild
what you have abandoned and forgotten.
You’ve seen me orange vested on highways,
and neck deep, blackened in gumbo ditches
digging the earth too soiled for your shovels
and you’ll see me building your border fence:
who else will break the rock and dig the holes
for a fence I’ll climb again and again?
You’ll see me as I die on the roadways,
in the backs of trucks, along dry creek beds
thirsting only for a sip from your brow.
Finally you’ll see my spirit in your home,
for you may have left the back gate open
but I am the one who built it for you!
- COMMENTS
Another poem you've written that I like on different levels. I like how it sounds when I read it out loud, I like the clarity of the imagery you've used, I like the rhythm (though I notice that not all lines have the same count - this doesn't deter from the poem itself, in my opinion). While I don't like the word 'shit', I feel it adds voice to the poem and great alliteration. I like how you've managed use the 10 count but haven't allowed it to mess up the flow of what you are saying.
Should 'orange vested' be hyphenated?
This is good and strong word work no matter what one's politics are. - I would like to see the word "shit" replaced. It crashes in my ear.
but just about anything with walls and a roof.
another thoughtful write
good work,
maria
I enjoyed reading this well crafted poem of yours. The metaphor unfolds well over its course and your language flows well.
Great reading, as usual