All Comments on 'Brother's Incestuous Bet Ch. 01'
by mypenname3000
- 11 Comments
Poor!
Badly written, obviously NOT Proof Read, many words miss-spelled!"
Try turning Spell Check on!
It won't eliminate words that are correctly spelt, but in the wrong context but it will eliminate horrors such as ‘horderves ‘, which should, of course, be ‘hor d'oeuvres’!
Don't understand this 'universe' at all. Pretty much the one thing absolutely guaranteed to ruin an I/T story is a harem. Just... yawn.
I don’t know, it is too far fetched to capture the realistic bent you were going for.
The "CH. 01" in the title is ominous, it means that there is a risk of you writing another chapter of this nonsense. Please don't.
Way over the top. Also, it's my issue but not into father/daughter AT ALL. (Maybe because I have 4 daughters and the thought nauseates me...) The narrative is still well written, just the plot has gone to a dark side most writers in this genre avoid. 3*
This is my first comment in 5 years of joining Literotica. I did enjoy your story can't wait for sequel.
So, the first problem with this story:
"When California passed a law or regulations, other states took notice. Other states copied."
Bullshit. It's more accurate to say that California is a case in point for what NOT to do. It's more expensive to live in California than any of the other 49 states in the union. The middle class doesn't exist there. Either you're living in poverty and getting money from the state to supplement your income or you're part of the upper class elite.
I stopped reading after the description of his dream girl turned out to be his own mother. Sigmund Freud would probably love your story, but it's not my cup of tea. 1/5
You lost me, Hoss. I was willing to let Horsderves slide rather than Hors D'oeuvres. But as a native Californian, when you glorify our State senators... left me with a foul taste. Those knuckleheads have destroyed our beautiful state. The only person worse is that piece of garbage nuisance Newscum. Ok I'll leave my politics out if you do too.