Dear Diary

One more day until he leaves for college. That's it. I'm thisclose to being free. I'll help him move into his dorm and then visit every weekend for a month. Encourage him to go out to parties. Ignore any red flags. Be as immature as possible. He'll meet someone else and it'll be his idea to break up with me.

I don't want to see him anymore but every time I try to break up he tells me that since he hasn't agreed to it then we aren't broken up. Jessica from work suggested that I let him think it was his idea. My friend Leah said out of sight out of mind and to just wait it out. I decided to take both their advice. Wait til I'm out of his constant sight and let him think it's his idea.

Thank god he wasn't serious when he proposed over a basket of fries last weekend. I have never been more scared in my life. He laughed hard at that. Thought my terror was the funniest thing in the world.

Tonight is our last night together before he is gone til Thanksgiving. By then he should have a new girlfriend to bring home. I will be a distant memory.

He's been on this new thing. That since our relationship is entering a more mature adult stage we should stop using condoms. He thinks that it's a waste of money since I'm on the pill. I told him I'm not comfortable with that and how birth control isn't a guarantee. We kinda got into a fight about it. That's how I got out of his family's goodbye dinner tonight. He'll come by after.

I asked Leah to sleep over tonight. Just to help keep me distracted. She helped me do my make up and hair so I'd look beautiful. I wanted to look good for the last time I plan on fucking him. He calls it making love. But it's not love. What we have cannot be love. Fucking sounds more accurate. We also stole some of my parent's liquor and did some shots while we waited.

By the time I see the head lights of his car pulling into the driveway Leah is snoring softly beside me. He took his damn time. I check my reflection in the mirror one more time. After reapplying my lipstick I slip out the patio door.

He's sitting in the backseat and motions for me to join him. I can't deny that he looks good. He's got his hand on my thigh as soon as my butt hits the seat. He tastes like beer. His tongue explores every inch of my mouth. It's like I can't move my tongue with his tongue in there. Bright side, it makes the next part much more pleasurable.

Gently he guides me into a lying position. He pulls my pants down and unbuckles his jeans. Pulling himself out he turns and sticks his dick in my face. It's semi hard. Before I've gotten him in my mouth he's already started sucking on the lips of my pussy. Fuck that feels good. I start to suck on his dick sloppily. I've never quite gotten the hang out it. And him being my first I don't even know if I'm doing it right. It seems to take a while for him to get fully erect. He lifts his head from my crouch to watch me suck his dick. Then he pulls himself out of my mouth fast and puts his hand around his shaft before smacking me in the face with it.

He's never done that before and I didn't like it one bit. I pull away from him and start to pull my panties up. He reaches out but I smack his hand away. "Don't. Touch. Me." I growl.

"Woah, baby. Don't get mad. I just figured if you didn't want to make love anymore maybe you'd be into doing other stuff."

"Like hitting me with your dick??? What the fuck, Steve??"

"I'm just trying to show you the difference between us making love and just fucking. If you won't let me cum in you then maybe it's not love we are making."

"You know why I won't let you do that."

"Listen, babe, I've been on the track team since 6th grade. Doctors have told me my sperm count is low because of that. I can't get you pregnant, baby."

I sigh. I don't think what he is saying is true but I'm not a doctor. It sounds like it could be plausible. At this point I just want to be done. Done with this night. Done with him. "What if you pulled out before you came?"

"Sure babe. We can do that." He replied as he tugged my panties off again.

His body was heavy on me. I didn't feel very wet so it felt like he was forcing his dick into me. I just laid there while he was pumping his cock deeper inside me.

Then it happened. His body shook. He moaned loudly and then all motion stopped. I had to practically push him off of me.

There was a hot mess of cum dripping from my vagina. "What the fuck? You came inside me???"

"You just felt so good babe. I couldn't help myself."

"Fucking asshole. I'm done. We are over." I slammed his car door loudly not caring who would hear.

----

Dear Diary, it's been three weeks since that night. Today I realized my period was late and I took a test. I'm pregnant.