All Comments on 'Demon's Force to Incest'
by Voicee
- 8 Comments
So I'm not going to read this through as I don't have my red pen to hand. Your use of definite and indefinite articles needs attention as does the use of prepositions of place. I only read a few lines today I can see your grasp of the English language is quite good vocabulary seemed fine from the short part I read. I did not read further as reading and correcting is a weekday activity for me and I need a break from it over the weekend.
The grammar needs to be worked on a bit but other than that it is great. I hope to see more
Loved the story, true there were some grammatical errors but looking past that, the story itself was quite good and entertaining. On the sequel, I hope it turns into full on brother - sister romance and such, maybe with a return visit of the sex demon while they search for answers and come to grips with each other and end up falling in love. (not necessarily all in one sequel but yeah). I'm kinda hoping it remains brother-sister and doesn't get the parents involved, personally, as for me that would take away from the story a bit. Either way looking forward to the next chapter and will read it when it comes out!
You need an editor quick or maybe a ghost writer. Please review your work.