All Comments on 'Extraordinary Talent Pt. 01'
by Carl_Bradford
- 11 Comments
Some really smart people devise a really stupid plan that should go terribly, terribly wrong and leave all involved hurting, goes well against all odds because of the surhuman strength of the protagonists and lots and lots and lots of luck.
You are a real romantic Carl. I hope you know that. ;0)
I look forward to Carl further exploring the slave experience from the male perspective. Most authors in this slave universe write about sexy women that are enslaved, often tricked or betrayed, that also have submissive tendencies. Here we have a young nerdy male having his story told.
I am looking forward to the evolution of the relationship between Matt and Terri. Will Matt regret his decision four years later? The slave cage in the closet should have been a really big red flag for him. How will he cope locked in the cage when Terri takes another man into her bed? What will Terri do to Matt to prove that she can own and manage a slave? What happens if Terri starts enjoying dominating and humiliating Matt? What is William Thorton's end game? Did Matt ever think he would be laying naked over Terri's lap, cock in a chastity belt (cock cage) as she works a butt plug into his ass?
Once again Carl demonstrates his extraordinary talents as writer.
As always, your story is exceedingly well-written, and I applaud you for tackling the gender reversal. With that said, this story fails at the outset — friends don’t ask friends to become their slaves. Really, not ever. The request is fundamentally inconsistent with, well, friendship. (You finessed the issue in Trying On A Collar by defining the protagonist as an extreme submissive, and hence the dynamic at least catered to her interests; you have no such fig leaf here.) Within the context of Literotica, this story might work if Terri had some revealed sexual motive, but you go out of your way to establish there is not one (or, at least, not one that is recognized by either main character). Indeed, you offer no rationale whatsoever as to why Terri feels as if she could ever ask such a thing of someone who is her closest friend at college. In fact, Terri comes across as feckless and weak, utterly unable to chart her own path in life. Terri has her own money; she could easily set up an alternative arrangement; instead, she defers to her father and asks her friend to dehumanize himself for four years — including chastity — with little more than, “Oh, you know how Dad is.” Her own actions reveal Terri to be a dreadful, awful facsimile of a human being.
I hate to criticize, but the entire premise of this story is wholly unrealistic. If Terri were at all a good person, her only response should have been, “Dad, please stay out of my life.” Likewise, the only reasonable reaction from your protagonist should have been, “Thank you, but no way. I’ll help your daughter for free, but I can’t do this.” I understand that this is a fantasy set in a world that can’t actually withstand much scrutiny — slavery is incompatible with democracy and anyone who supports it, even passively, is a monster to some degree — but even within those bounds you need some shred of verisimilitude, and this story does not come close to clearing that bar. Your characters act as if they’re trapped into fake roles on a pre-planned plot train. I’m sympathetic as to your desire to tell a particular story, but some stories (whatever their other virtues) just don’t make sense. This is one of them.
I double-checked this on the internet — so veracity is not certain— but the consensus is that long-term chastity of the sort envisioned here will definitely shrink the size of poor Matt’s cock. Which is to say — this just doesn’t pass the laugh test. I’m sorry, but the financial rewards at offer here are not nearly enough for a male to sign up for a smaller dick. (Of course, it does happen in the context of a pre-existing dom-sub relationship or when a male self-identifies as a sissy, but none of that exists here.) Moreover, it would be professional malpractice for neither Matt’s lawyer nor his psychiatrist (who is a doctor) to mention his smaller cock as a long-term consequence of this contract. And of course, no friend worthy of the status would ever consider asking another friend to shrink his dick for money.
I realize that the chastity aspect of Matt’s contract may prove not to be as severe as it now seems. But at this juncture Matt and his lawyer believe that he may only be free of the cage for 2 hours per week. That is his expectation, and that is what Theresa is demanding from him. So Theresa is in fact using her financial advantages to induce him to suffer an extreme medical impairment that may be permanent. This is something that your worst enemy does — not your best friend. Theresa is in no way worthy of Matt’s friendship, much less his devotion and love.
Carl, I'm looking forward to your next story with a female slave. I don't really care for the "male as a submissive" stories, and this one really doesn't make sense. A friend wouldn't make a friend do this.
You're getting allot of busy bodies talking about realism. HA, either except that others would have different ideas/fantasies or just enjoy it!
As an engineering grad student I'd love to take his place!
Great start. Hopefully this will be as great as Dan and Laura exploring the femdom aspect.
I've read 2 of your other series now. I liked some parts more than others. While I freely admit that you are a much better writer than I (and your dialogue is embarrassingly better than mine) this story just doesn't work. Friends just don't ask friends to do this. It doesn't matter if the rest of it, the chipping, tattooing, slave yoga et al makes any sense, that's just fluff. The Starship Enterprise doesn't make sense either, it can still be the setting of a good story. The premise here just doesn't make sense. Setting aside that it's icky and makes me uncomfortable (it is and it does) it's just a non-starter. I will make an attempt to go through more of your stuff as the days go on and I'm sure I will have something more supportive to say after that.
Reading this for a second time, the whole seeing someone you enslaved is one thing but owning them is a whole other thing. I can imagine being Teresa, that would be fun. I can’t imagine signing on for a 4 year long DBSM session as a sub with no aftercare during those 4 years - it is beyond comprehension for me. Still it really is a fun story.