All Comments on 'First Time with a Man and Men'
by MRwrong41
- 7 Comments
Your story's hot, but the word use mistakes made it very hard to follow & kept pulling me out of my pants and into my head. Literotica has volunteer editors in the forum. See if one of them will work with you in the future.
Very hot story, like the other comment, you are in need of an editor. Lots of word mistakes. A few parts were rushed a little. Take you time an go into even more detail with things... detail the sexual encounters even more. one common write error (in my opinion), is in group scene: the first bj or start of anal is described and then just a general "the rest took turns for the next few hours". I understand you don't want it to get boring writing the same exact thing (ie: and then I sucked his cock and then I sucked his cock and then i sucked his cock, etc...) and you don't have to describe everything in "super" detail but give more. You started to a little bit by saying how each dick was different, just give more.
Even with some of it's problems, it is a pretty hot story. Could be great with some help. Keep it up (pun intended, lol).
oh if only this could happen to me for real My dreams are about this a lot
Loved the content of the story, but spelling and grammar made it difficult to follow. Have someone proof you next story.
I haven't had a gang bang in years, this brought back some memories. Very hot story, you must use spell check though, grammar and spelling was terrible.
A nice first time. I have only been gang banged once. I had been using a dildo for a couple of years before I actually got fucked so I was ready. It was no surprise because we had planned it. After he came, he stayed in me and I played with his balls until until he was hard enough to fuck me again and shoot a second load up my ass. If he could have stayed hard, I could have fucked all day. I know that I could have taken six or eight guys if they had been there. That's one of the great things about being a Bottom; even after you cum two or three times, and can't get it up again, you are still able to have more sex as long as there is a cock that it willing and able. If a guy could fuck you that long and produce as much cum as several guys it would be great and much safer but, there is something that is such a kinky psychological turn on about having several guys loads all mixed together inside you.