All Comments on 'Freshman Orientations'
by SolarRay
- 19 Comments
... but inventive and sexy. I suspended belief and reality, enjoyed it tremendously, and gave it five stars. One of the best ever here.
I enjoyed this one a great deal. It was easy to imagine as if it was happening to me. Realistic behaviors and actions. Well done!
Let this be the first of many in a super sexy series. There are so many potential alternate viewpoints from which just this story alone could be told and so many different directions in which each thread could unfold.
So much potential here. Please don't stop.
Thanks everyone! Hatsya: Yes, it's fun to imagine where this might lead... I certainly have ideas already, and especially if there are more requests to continue I may explore them!
That was a gteat story that I hope to read many more like it or parts of .five star's is way to low just for this one should get a fifty rating. From stallhand dc..
Who among us have not at some point(s) not imagined something like this happening to us - to 'Watch and Be Watched'. There is a bit (lot) of voyeurism in All of us! Wow!
Partial nudity is Often even more erotic at times than total nudity. How about creating a dorm policy where for two weeks all the girls agree to live in the dorm at all times only 'half' "dressed - they can choose individually to either go topless Or bottomless but not both. Likewise the guys can choose the same thing - if they choose to go bottomless, they always wear a shirt - that then places all the emphases upon their jewels, which will often vary between erect and non. This is the mode of 'dress' for the first week - to build up the tension among all ...THEN the second week they have to do the opposite of which ever their 'dress' mode was for the previous week - but in Addition Anyone can walk up to anyone else and reach out and fondle any exposed part of the other's anatomy - have the fun of discovery up close, after having the previous week built up their desires of anticipation.
Great story, Great writing ability, and Very erotic! Thanks.
Like many writers, this one is confused about the use of the words "I" versus "me". The following is copied from the story:
"The boy turned and looked back at Valeska and I, absorbed in the sight of our two naked ... "
In this case, it should be "Valeska and me". The word "I" is used when "I" is the subject. In this case, "the boy" is the subject. "Valeska and the narrator" are the object, so "me" should be used. Or, drop "Valeska" and see if "I" sounds right here. ("The boy looked at I"). No, it does not.
For me this is a fresh idea. Close to it, I read of a student who became the houseboy for a sorority-- purportedly there to cook meals, but actually there as the house stud, available for girls who became horny. Another story, a guy was participating in research involving sex with his fellow coeds. Closest was a man chosen as a "model" for a girls high school sex ed class. But SolarRay's concept is unique, with students within a dorm using seniors to demonstrate sex procedure for mixed freshmen students to help with their "orientation" to college life. It is well written -- the author has talent at language and storytelling -- and has lots of dialog.
Things I think would have made this good story better.
Valeska and Sean are going to perform on stage. Public performances need rehearsal. Their fears were due to two factors -- being public and not being used to each other. One of those fears would have been lessened by rehearsal sex. Although I suppose the story is more tense and the anticipation is heightened with it being their first coupling.
In normal sex, kissing and foreplay might start before taking off clothes. Taking off clothes would then be a part of the foreplay and maybe done in part by the partner.
Rather than going straight to oral after removing clothes, it could have gone to more kissing, caressing and fondling, moving down the body slowly to the oral. This is especially appropriate for college-age (inexperienced) who tend to go straight to the main event.
Valeska did well in expressing herself verbally during sex. I wanted to hear more of how Sean felt. I'll bet the girls in the audience did too.
Finally, just as foreplay is important to impress on a college audience, so is post-play -- cuddling, kissing, expressions of thanks and how good it felt. Trying to educate against the "wham bam thank you maam" neophyte mentality.
Still, it was a good story built on a clever idea.
Looking forward to the next chapter,
Paul in Oklahoma
Thanks Paul! I appreciate your recent thoughtful comments on a few of my stories. I'm glad you've been enjoying them. Thanks for reading and sharing your feedback!
Great stuff, but I found the use of the word "boobies" really off-putting, as it strikes me as a word used by adolescents. Thanks for the story tho. Made me very wet.
Another way to test is to eliminate "Valeska and" then see how it sounds: He looked back at I would, or should, sound awkward, He looked back at me sounds much better.
Sometimes seemed redundant... Good spelling. Yeah the use of the word 'boobies' was a turn-off! Things like Sean saying 'oh you're so tight' also was a turn off. Sometimes it seems like the story was written by an adult and then sometimes weird stuff with Stirling so it seemed like it was written by a preteen. Inconsistent, at times.
Most young women are basically modest and in a scene as written would use the word "boob" referring to their breast. Any of the guys using the word "tit" would be looked on very unkindly by the young freshman girls in this story.
Fantastic.
The sex scene sizzled like few others. The thrill of making love in front of others really got to them, and I'm willing to suspend judgement on how realistic this situation is. Great fantasy material. Wish I would could have some instruction like that in college!
Reading this story should definitely be required reading for all juniors in high school through early college Students. Wish I had read it back then - great job and great sex descriptions!