All Comments on 'Mom's Progressive Submission Ch. 01'
by Momstheboss
- 16 Comments
Good start to what's going to be an excellent story, looking forward to some more.
Loved the prolonged seduction part of this. Too many authors skip directly to the sex. You've got a good story started here.
Loved the verbal pictures, and it is wonderful seeing/hearing from a real woman with hair on her pussy.
Next story, please.
You have a good beginning. You built the sexual relationship and not rush into the fuck part. I think you have to let them do it much later and slowly develop their relationship.
Situations like this can develop and Mother's can help their sons in some ways. Mom needs to turn tables and can take control now that son has had a taste....he will be begging for more
I just hope that the story isn't drug out purposely just to make a lot of chapters.
We'll see how it goes. Won't we?
sounds like it is a mom vs son submission wrestle challenge at first place, but the story is ok. you should write some submission wrestle challenge story at future, mom son wrestling is very erotic attractive. mom must be aggresive in that wrestle story who can dominate her teenage son. cause of Momstheboss.
First, the complaints. This badly needs rewriting to correct the typos, if viewed charitably, or just plain mistakes which some editing on your part could correct. Next, Please watch your adverbs. They are almost always useless and a lazy and ineffective shortcut to action you should be describing directly. Third, banish "situated" from your vocabulary. It is almost always unnecessary. Try reading the sentence it is in without it and you will see what I mean. You skipped over their first shower together, soaping each other off. Why did you do that? She is washing her son's body for the first time as he is feeling his mother's body for the first time as well. Isn't that worth some description? I would think so. Was he hard, for example? How did she react to that? So slow down and take advantage of the good scene you have set up rather nicely, I thought. Other than that, good job on a promising and erotic story line. You have done a good job with the mom and with the son too. He is nicely assertive and manly. Just slow down and let it flow and don't skip steps.
Echo clive2007's comments; try getting an editor. Since you most likely read this prior to submission, it is doubtful that you can self-edit. Expand the story, take your descriptive time, use an editor, & Part 2 will be really fine.
This could get really hot, there holding each other off as best they can, but mom is starting to give in.Please keep them going, it's a good read...........LAROC
Even though this is a older story, I loved it. Thanks for a good read.
Warren
and the future ones too.
Full marks ! * * * * *
This was a great story, glad I stumbled onto it. Hot and a bit cute, the back and forth between the two. 5 stars.
I like this story. I thoroughly enjoy the lack of self-doubt, guilt or self loathing of the mother/son lovers. I appreciate the son wants to sexually please his mother, unconsciously caring about her psychological sensitivity to their relationship and through action and deed reassures her of the solidity of their relationship. I would have rated this story 5 stars if the characters had been deeloped more indepth and breadth.