All Comments on 'Son's Friend Pursues Lonely Mom'
by Evolutionthewriter
- 9 Comments
Your story reads like a "Fun With Dick and Jane" book: See Patricia. See Mark. See Mark fuck Patricia. Fuck, Mark, Fuck. Your short, choppy sentences---added to your VERY lame story line---emphasize the point that you have no skill as an author.
Nice story. You have something here I like. Will be watching to see you continue with more chapters.
A lot of these guys think they’re Oxford lit professors instead of fans of spank stories. Keep going. Try to get more depth. Why is the MILF lonely? Is she married? A widow?
What about what’s going on in their heads? She’s banging her sons friend. Do either of them feel guilty? Will the wife become sinister in her attempts to humiliate her husband and/or son? Why?
Things like that could give the story 3 dimensions instead of static characters.
She started out as friends MOTHER. As he's having sex with her she becomes "baby" and later "the bitch"......WHY? Try to show some appreciation and RESPECT.
It was all going well until you left everybody hanging in the air. So where is the sequel ? You owe your readers that much. I see you wrote this on Christmas Day 2019 so you can give us all a present on 25 Dec this year !!!