All Comments on 'Stranded on an Island with Daddy'
by virginqueen1993
- 14 Comments
Thanks for this teaser. I am really looking forward to the rest - after you take care of yourself. :)
What are you, twelve? You sure write like a child.
He was the only father.....that he knew.
He tried to push him away.
He was hard, then erect.
Stop writing, or burn my eyes from their sockets so I don't have to see this butchery any longer.
Loved the story. Cant wait for the next installment.
There is so much wrong with this story per se, that I won’t hold my breath for another chapter.
LOTS and LOTS OF HELP, GO BACK TO SQUARE ONE and START OVER.
FIRST and FOREMOST GET A PROOF READER. IT WAY A GOOD IDEA.
BUT THAT'S ALL, SORRY.
It's possible that English isn't your first language but this is so badly written that it's laughable. Whilst the storyline isn't exactly original the presentation is appalling, even the first paragraph contains several cringe-worthy errors.
The plane crashed after "a freak windstorm destroying one of the plane's small wings"?
What?
Planes are designed to withstand wind...think about it...When they are flying they are subjected to winds equal to the plane's speed.
So what you wrote makes no sense.
If you don't know what you are writing about, keep it simple...running out of gas, engine failure or something simple.
You are all being to critical... She is obviously in her own version of a little space and you don't even take that into consideration. Plus I thought it was amazing. It had me soaking wet.
People can be assholes but dont let them discourage you.
It was a hot story I just wish it was a bit longer is all. Had me hard as a rock.
Several times you referred to the daughter as 'he' and then followed by calling her a 'she'. An editor would help you fix these errors and clean it up.
The premise is good and your story flow works. It could be much longer if the mood strikes you. Thank you for trying.