Eat Your Own Heart Out

i burn through desires
like too much cash in the hands of a child
in the world's biggest toy store

eating from a buffet of stainless steel chafing dishes
everything i want
gourmet spoonfuls of loneliness
all the time i can handle
goblets of rich, thick sorrow
appetizer of uncontrolled lust to hold me over
frozen desserts sculpted from the ice of my dreams

(I did not realize
how much I'd been wasting on you
hungry, needy monster child
intravenous drip of nutrition; the needle always sore in my soul
wasn't ever enough
could never slake
the open, fang-mouthed stomachs of the
demons whose whore you are)

it seems to be okay
i'm eating again
stuffing myself silly, actually
every now again leaning back
to enjoy a good smoke
     waiting
drinking a tall black cocktail dress
feasting on sky blue eyes
sipping the sounds of whiskey voices asking,
"is this seat taken?"
"no," i answer, "i let her starve."