- Erotic Poetry
- Full moon beach
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Click hereFull moon beach
A safe, secluded, sandy, beach
Enclosed by weather beaten rocks.
The weight of the moonlight,
Falling soft upon bare skin
Breaths mingle
Four limbs wobble down as two.
In ensuing entanglement,
Down to the water's edge
The cool outside
The melting warmth inside.
Is like coming home,
From a fierce storm
The gentle waves
In their infinite rhythm
Bring us closer to the edge,
Of the safe enclosed space
To where the big breakers
Writhe and pummel
The jutting outcrop of rock,
With their timeless passion
To the edge and back
Time and time again
Flirting dangerously close,
To the point of no return
Beyond which
Primeval currents take over
And lead,
To unknown shores
Some succumb
Some survive
To drift away,
To a distant shore
- COMMENTS
it filled with pseudo poetic words and misused metaphors -- I give it a full moon - let me explain why. Feel free to disagree or please educate me.
Full moon beach
A safe, secluded, sandy, beach - trite sophomoric start
Enclosed by weather beaten rocks.- you just said it was sandy, rocky beaches are not, and why a period used here?
The weight of the moonlight, light is weightless unless you are a physicist
Falling soft upon bare skin
Breaths mingle
Four limbs wobble down as two. wobble? gait? one carries another?
does this mean sex? another period?
In ensuing entanglement,
Down to the water's edge
The cool outside
The melting warmth inside. why a period if thought continued in next line
Is like coming home,
From a fierce storm - how so? a fierce storm cools inside and out
The gentle waves
In their infinite rhythm
Bring us closer to the edge, - sexual illusion ok
Of the safe enclosed space - the edge of beach or climax?
To where the big breakers - the breakers are far out, not at edge of closed space?
Writhe and pummel breakers crash, bodies may writhe, not waves
The jutting outcrop of rock, - maybe an erection metaphor?
With their timeless passion - rock has passion???? or the breakers?
To the edge and back
Time and time again
Flirting dangerously close,
To the point of no return - sex again? or waves?
Beyond which
Primeval currents take over - what is a primeval current ? misuse of word?
And lead,
To unknown shores - is this the Polynesian theory of navigation
Some succumb - waves?
Some survive
To drift away, - waves don't drift, objects drift
To a distant shore
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