- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Oxygen
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Click hereLet my lips decend upon the night,
through the air to breathe
life into your vacant chest.
I've been too long away.
The ties that bind a loving heart
are quick to shrink and tighten
with neglect.
Would that my touch
could rouse your soul.
It must be so!
Move beneath my kiss,
that I might know
your vibrant, vital vigor
yet again.
- COMMENTS
nice repeating sounds, use of illiteration and internal rhyme. I would consider reworking the line breaks and maybe think about some of the phrases-- are any of them overused? I have mixed feelings, you remixed some of them, made them new, just a thought. Enjoyed!