- Erotic Poetry
- Surrender (Give Me Another)
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Click hereWe seek,
we chase the banner
coiling hungry,
lonely, joyous,
full.
There.
That flutter,
the early throbbing,
the slick of fluid,
and the heat
spreads.
It is waves and tongue-curling,
toe-curling, spine-arching,
consuming release that gives
and goes.
And ends.
Taken,
given,
demanding,
accepted
and craved.
More.
- COMMENTS
that I gave this poem a 3 (50%) rating, because that makes it seem (given the inflated ratings system we have here) like I didn't like it.<p>
Actually, I did like it, a bit. It shows care in composition, which is important to me. The problem is that it doesn't <i>say</i> anything. Not really. It mostly piles up a lot of adjectives in an attempt to build an image.<p>
Poems don't work that way. There are no concrete, specific images in this poem. None.<p>
But I can see that you care about language and have talent manipulating it. You are one of the ones who can do it.<p>
God. Sorry, I know I can be a jerk.