'Twas The Night Before Christmas

'Twas The Night Before Christmas'

(with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore) (1779 - 1863)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.
My stockings seductively were o'er the bedroom chair,
In the vain hope he'd take me then and there.

But he was all snuggled and tucked up in bed,
While visions of a good fucking danced in my head.
But despite my sexy negligée, the old chap
Had just settled his brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Despite my attire to the window I flew,
Whoever was out there sure got a nice view.

With the full-moon and my breasts almost on show
I must have looked seductive when viewed from below.
And to my wondering eyes what could I see,
But a jolly red fat man staring up at me.

I though for a moment my mind 'd played a trick
But I knew at that moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles and to my shame
He whistled, and shouted, and called out my name!

"Now dash to it, my Donna, my darling, my cupid,
Come on my vixen, don't stand there looking stupid
Come down to the porch! Open the front door!
Now dash to it! Come down! I want to see more!

With a shake of the head I pulled closed the curtain,
I must have been dreaming of that I was certain,
Despite my frustration I got back into bed
'Twas then that I heard scuttling overhead!

I flew out of bed and downstairs made my way,
Dressed in just my panties and negligée.
Opened the lounge and to my amazement I found
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe,
Whilst me in my negligée had everything on show!
He bundled me over and flung me on my back,
Ripped open his suit and showed me his sack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
It looked to me he'd already been at the sherry!
But my eyes were drawn downwards to the bulge below
And he took out my Christmas present to show.

The stump of his pipe was as plump as it was chubby,
Much longer and thicker than that of my hubby,
But a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Grabbing hold of my panties he gave them a jerk.
He pulled the damp crotch over to one side
And up my chimney he rose, as I opened wide!

His Christmas gift was so large, I nearly cried
I came more than once from his 'slay' ride
Then out he pulled and all over my belly,
He shook and shuddered as out came his jelly!

He sprang to his feet, and got back into his gear
And out he strode to his waiting reindeer
And I heard him exclaim, as he strode out of sight
"Happy Christmas!" All in all, 't had been a good-night!"