- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Un-Settling or Vague Rants
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Click hereI swear it's turning into one of those days where I'm 'bout - [this far from cutting loose and hitting the road.
I could be a vagabond a vagrant a drifter
carried off on the wind like so much litter.
Never knowing where I'm going never stopping never slowing.
Just following the flowing like a leaf on a river,
wrapped in cool water and carried past the heather,
hither and thither, to and fro I would go,
calling the road (or river) my home.
I'm a drifter in my dreams, day drifter, day dreamer.
Alas, In my head I'm a realist, fact actualist.
Anylitic to the maximus.
But in my heart the stories different
Warrior poet, dancing militant
Head and heart conflict, can't get enough of it.
I wanna make em one,
blend the moon and sun
Make the night the day and the day night all for fun.
No worries, though,
I'll keep being me, ya know
'Til the day comes for me to be somebody else.
Think that'll be tomorrow?
So, anyway, I hope you're having a good day.
Hope your smile never fades.
Hope you're happy in you're place.
Have a dance now. See you later
- COMMENTS
Hello...
I am a humble musician from HUMANWINE and my husband is a web designer. We have a humble site and I think your story/song would fit lovely in our ARTISTS section. Please let me know if you would like to participate.
thanks much:
SIREN
Because I believe it does, I'm offering a few suggestions. First, do you think the poem would still work without the final verse? I ask that because ending on the question seemed a little more satisfying to me.
I like the repetitive word play that you employed throughout. At the same time, there were a few places where some punctuation might have highlighted that interplay, as might just a bit of trimming.
And one persnickety thing: I found the spelling errors irritating. (I guess I expect poets to be more careful... and I have been severely chastised for that in the past).
I enjoyed the opening lines right after your intro:
"I could be a vagabond a vagrant a drifter
carried off on the wind like so much litter."