A Brief Conversation

Tom Jenkins and Linda his wife of fifteen years were having a quiet Fall Saturday evening at home. Tom was watching his Nebraska Cornhuskers losing again to Oklahoma on ESPN. His wife was quietly reading her Cosmo when she began to speak.

"Sweetheart, have you ever thought about having sex with other women?"

"Of course I have I'm a man so I think about it all the time, but I would never do it, why do you ask?"

"Well, I just thought that since we have such a strong marriage and , well I've been thinking that I want to see what other guys are like? You know you are the only person I have ever had sex with and we've been together for over 15 years, so...."

"What is bringing this on now?"

There's a guy at work, Justin that all the girls have been with and they say he is really hung and great in the sack. He seems to have become quite attracted to me. I could never cheat on you, that's why I have to tell you first."

"I see. Sure go right ahead. Have sex with whomever you want to."

"Really, you don't mind?"

"Not at all. I will get the paperwork started and we will get everything taken care of right away so you can start experimenting as much as you would like."

"Paperwork. What paperwork?"

"THE DIVORCE PAPERWORK OF COURSE YOU DUMB BITCH!" You are out of your fucking mind if you think I am going to allow you to fuck other guys. Did you just go brain dead?"

"You know dear there was a nice way for you to respond to my request. Don't be a Neanderthal and just listen to what I have to say. It will certainly be in your best interest to concentrate......."

"How is you, fucking other men, going to be in my best interest?"

"Well for one thing, we have four young children that need both their mom and dad together. In a divorce you would have to pay a LOT of child support but rarely get to see your kids as I would make that as difficult as possible for you. And, since I am a stay at home Mom and we have been married over ten years, you would need to pay me a great deal of alimony for a looooong time. Not to mention that I would get the house, which you so generously would have to continue to pay for. In the meanwhile I will be sleeping with different men anyway. Do you see what I am saying here sweetie?"

"I see so you want to open up our marriage, maybe become swingers? That sort of thing?"

"Oh no dear, I would expect you to remain completely faithful to me. If you cheated on me I would cut your dick off and then divorce you in a New York minute!"

"How is that fair?"

"Well you were with several women before we became exclusive weren't you? I think you said it was six or seven, isn't that right?"

"Yes, but what has that got to do with anything?"

"Well, I think it is only fair that I get to be with six or seven other men, then we will be even and we can go back to our life as it is now. That wouldn't be too bad, now would it?"

"Actually, yes it would be very bad and it's not going to happen!"

Linda very smugly said, "Well sweetheart, I guess you should just go ahead with your divorce then and we will see how the next fifteen years of your life go."

"Actually, I think you are right, a divorce would be bad. Hold on for a second while I go upstairs and get my gun so I can shoot you in the fucking head! I wonder what will happen to your four precious children? I'm guessing though that under these circumstances I would only have to spend about ten years in prison so I would be five years to the good!"

"Oh, quit being so theatrical, you aren't going to shoot me," she said it quite dismissively too. "Wait, where are you going?"

She was looking at Tom's backside as he stormed upstairs without responding. She heard him going into his safe and then the distinctive sound of the nine millimeter Smith and Wesson sliding forward to chamber a round.

"Oh shit!" and she took off running out the door.