A Heartfelt Apology

As he walked to the podium, Jay Sanders wondered why he was doing this. But he had to answer for his past sins, and this was one way that he could. Quite possible stopping another person before, they walked down the path he did.

“Fellow students, facility, Mr. and Mrs. Lembowski, honored guests. Thank you for being here today to honor the passing of a well respected person, and I promise not to take too much of your time. I am here under my own free well, to talk with you and others, as I pass on my message.”

“Three weeks prior, one of our fellow students and confidants, William Lembowski, took his life. Due to my actions and words, I cost a mother and father the love of their son, and a sister the love of a brother. The words we chose to use in life need to be chosen wisely. What we may think will be a joke to our friends, may be an insult to others. So what I am about to say, comes from my heart, and please look deep in yours, to find the love for others.”

“As I stand here, I wonder about a lot of things, mostly life in general. Who decides who will live and who will die? Is it man himself, or is it a higher power. For years, man has debated on if mankind has evolved from the earth and animals, or if a higher power did put man on earth, and watched them evolve. What it all comes down to is this, who makes the decisions on what man does?”

“Does mankind make his own decision on what they want to do, and live by it, or does a higher power put man to the test to see if they will pass or fail. Some of the decisions we have made over the years has been, shall I drink excessive amounts of alcohol or no, should I kill or forgive, shall I stand by and watch someone commit suicide, or try to give them a loving hand. Why does mankind have to make these decisions?”

“Does mankind have the capability to comprehend what is right and wrong? If man does make the wrong decision, why does he do it, and not try to make it a right one? Or, again, does a higher power place certain evils on earth to test mankind to see if they make the right decisions? Once we make that decision, and it is a wrong one, many times I believe that we can change, and go down the right path. Sometimes we need the guidance of others to help us along the way. Usually, the guidance of those who love us.”

“But how do you help those who have made a decision because of a tragic event that took place in their lives? How do you help those who think they have made the right decision, and it is not? How do you help those who are persistent in what they do? Some people push others away because they don’t want the help. Should you stay persistent and try to help them, or do you decide to give up on them, and hope that you made the right decision by doing so.”

“You know, as I stood by the grave of a life I cost. I wondered about a lot of things, mostly life in general.”

“In regards to love, what is it? Is it a strong affection that one feels toward another? Or is it an unselfish, loyal and benevolent concern for others? According to a dictionary, it is both. But what does it really mean?”

“According to the Bible, John 3:16, it is written, ‘“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”’ But if He so loved the world, why is it filled with so much hatred? Could it all go back to when Cain slew Abel? Brother slew brother. What would have happened if that first murder never took place? That both Cain and Abel grew to an old age together, loving each other as brothers do. Would this world still have the hatred in it? Would this world have had the Adolf Hitler’s, or the Osama bin Ladin’s, who have killed thousands of people? What about the Jeffery Dahmer’s, the David Berkowitz’s, or Ted Bundy’s who murdered and tortured untold amounts of people? Would it all have happened?”

“But where there is hatred, there has to be love. Is there love in this world? Well, we had Mother Teresa who gave her whole life to helping others. We also had Princess Diane who was loved by millions around the world. Both of them have left us now and gone on to a higher place. But we still have others, like the Reverend Billy Graham who has given his whole life to spreading the word of God. Did a higher power put both hatred and love on this world to test us to see how we would react? Is it a pass and fail system, where if you committed an evil act, such as murder, you went to hell, and if you helped others, you went to heaven? Who makes these choices? Does a higher power make them? Or does a person make them by the decisions that they make in life?”

“If love is defined as a strong affection one feels toward another. Would that mean that when brothers have a strong affection toward each other, they love each other as brothers do? What about when two friends have a strong affection toward each other? Would they love each other as friends do? It would seem that it does. But what about when a person does an unspeakable act, such as calling another hateful names, or throwing insults down on them? Is that considered love? I don’t think so.”

“If love is defined as an unselfish, loyal and benevolent act toward others, would that mean when one person spends their life helping others, that they love them? What about when one friend helps another through hard times, and stands by them when needed? Is that considered love? I would think so.”

“So what is the true definition of love? There could be numerous answers, or there could be no solid answer at all.”

“As I leave you today, I ask for your forgiveness, and please look in your hearts and minds. Show the respect, and love, to others that they deserve.”

“Thank you.”

Jay stepped back, and he knew that he had done the right thing. As everyone stood and applauded, the first to greet him was Mrs. Lembowski. With tears in her eyes, and a smile on her lips, she embraced him with warm arms.

“You are forgiven Jay, you are forgiven.”