A Study of the Beta Male - Me

I've been pondering the subject of the beta male for almost two decades. The reason? Because I am a beta male. There wasn't really a way to classify it in my mind previously, who or what I was. Thankfully, age and experience - and many years of Literotica membership - have allowed me to identify what I am. The intended audience of this essay is for other beta men like me, who are curious why they are the way they are. It is also intended for women who may know a beta male, are married to a beta male, and are interested in understanding their sexual inclinations and how they function.

I wish to stress that these are my own theories. You may read this essay and totally disagree. I respect that. However, this is my perspective based on my own theories and years of living as "me."

NATURAL ORDER OF THINGS

This will be the most controversial argument that I have regarding the theory of the beta male. I believe that there is a natural order to things in both nature and society. There are the hunters and the hunted, predator and prey, rich and poor, master and slave. For this reason, I believe that there is an alpha and beta male hierarchy in the realm of human sexuality. I also believe that, whether a man is an alpha or a beta, he is biologically and subconsciously wired to perform his role. To support this, I will put forth the following traits that are useful in distinguishing between the two with an emphasis on describing the beta male's characteristics.

TRAITS OF THE BETA MALE

The following traits are those that I believe define a beta male. Those of you who read this and are beta males like me may find that you can relate to these descriptions.

Self-confidence. I am not an unattractive man. Outwardly I am masculine, well-built, and physically fit. I am highly intelligent. Yet all of my sexual life, starting with adolescence, I have lacked the confidence to approach attractive women. I become nervous, self-conscious, and have the overall feeling that the women I find very sexually attractive are "out of my league." Even though I desire to have sexual contact with her, I lack the confidence to approach her and risk the rejection. This is not the case with women I find less attractive. In order to have a remote chance of having sex with a highly attractive female and passing my DNA on to her offspring it would be she who would have to be the sexual aggressor. My wife is a sapiosexual, meaning she is attracted to intelligence. That is how I attracted her, not by masculine sexual aggression.

Genital size. My genitals are not critically undersized, but I am very "average" if not slightly smaller. My testicles are slightly smaller than pecans. My penis did not start to grow larger until later in my teens. When I am flaccid, my penis does not hang between my legs - only the glans is visible. Contrast this with an alpha male. His penis is still readily visible when flaccid. His testicles are large and pendulous. The very sight of his genitals, even when not engorged from sexual excitement, stimulate sexual desire in a woman. His cock is more likely to induce an orgasm due to its increased length and girth, his larger testicles are more likely to deliver a highly fertile ejaculation of semen, and the larger cock is more likely to inseminate more deeply inside a woman to ensure fertilization. As a beta male, I would never refer to my penis as a "cock."

Submissiveness. As mentioned above, a beta male will not aggressively pursue an attractive woman. He will tend to avoid conflict with another male, especially an alpha male, whenever possible. It's not that he's incapable of fighting, or even winning for that matter. He prefers to avoid conflict if at all possible. His love language toward his mate is also different. Alpha males tend to exert their sexual prowess with a mate. Beta males tend to perform acts of service for their mates instead of pleasuring them with aggressive, animalistic sex.

Vicarious sex. Beta males tend to be voyeuristic. We desire to view what we can't have. We masturbate with high frequency with the assistance of porn or other voyeuristic activities. There is a tendency of beta males to enjoy watching a woman being fucked by an alpha male, especially with a large cock. They enjoy seeing a woman sexually pleasured in a way they would never be capable of doing, and sometimes tend to relate more to the woman than the man in the porn images. Some betas gravitate toward the cuckold fetish for this reason. Large cocks and male ejaculations sexually excite us, which is a subject I will expand upon below.

BISEXUAL TENDENCIES

This opinion of mine may be highly controversial. I've spent many years reading the posts of other men on Literotica in conjunction with my own sexual feelings and urges. I cannot make a broad claim that all beta males have bisexual urges, but I personally have them. I have found many fellow betas online who feel the exact same way. Here are some of the arguments in favor of betas having bisexual tendencies.

Not attracted to men. I start off with this argument because I consider myself heterosexual. I'm a beta male, but heterosexual because I am not physically attracted to other men. I cannot envision myself kissing another man, open mouthed, with tongues entertwining. There is zero desire to be tender and/or affectionate toward another man. I'm not saying that there is anything "wrong" with that, but I do not and have never had any urge to do those activities with a man whatsoever. Based on the feedback I receive from gay males, that is highly desirable in that population.

Desire to suck cock. This is the greatest bisexual urge/activity that I have felt for almost two decades. The female forms sexually excites me. I enjoy having sex with a woman, enjoy performing cunnilingus, and appreciate the intimacy and tenderness I can share with a woman. Yet, for so very long, I have fantasized about sucking another man's cock. The main appeal, I believe, stems from my inherent submissiveness. It is arousing to imagine myself on my knees in front of an alpha male, one whose genitals are larger than mine, and using my mouth, lips, and tongue to give him sexual pleasure. It seems to be motivated by a sense of reverence, of recognition and acknowledgement that his cock is larger than mine, more worthy to inseminate a female than mine, and that it is more worthy to be "worshipped" orally. In my own case, I believe that years of viewing porn and observing women sexually worship a cock has helped induce my desire to do so as well.

Consumption of semen. I have regularly tasted and consumed my own ejaculate since I was an early teen. It is indeed an acquired taste, and post-ejaculatory feelings of disgust often prevent me from licking it up and swallowing it the way I fantasize about doing it while actively masturbating. Yet I often manage to do it anyway. Watching another man ejaculate is sexually arousing to us. We see the pleasure a woman receives when her pussy is deeply inseminated by a large cock, or how she hungrily tastes and swallows the alpha male's semen after orally pleasuring him. We have that desire, too. Semen is pure sexuality in a liquid form, and we cannot help but imagine how it would feel to be on the receiving end like women. It also sexually excites me to lick my own semen from my wife's pussy after I have ejaculated inside her, and I receive positive reinforcement of this act based on the orgasms she receives. The topic of semen consumption also relates to the next one in regards to cuckolding.

Cuckolding. I cannot attest that all beta males desire to be cuckolds, but I believe there is a high occurrence of it, and that the majority of men with a cuckold fetish are beta males. Some may not have the self-esteem to see their mates have intercourse with another man, to sexually pleasure him, and to receive his ejaculate vaginally or orally. I would be devastated to lose my wife to another man. That being said, I want her to be sexually fulfilled and receive as much sexual pleasure as possible. Referencing vicarious sex as described above, the thought of observing a large cock penetrating her and ejaculating while buried deep inside her is very arousing to me. The arousing fantasy is heightened even more at the thought of being able to lick her clean of her lover's semen. Women often find this erotic when the husband mounts her and climaxes inside her afterward, as if he is reclaiming her for his own. In my mind, the act of allowing me to ejaculate inside her afterward would be a courtesy, as if it were a consolation to give her my seed after the alpha male has deposited his own.

On a personal note, my wife had only one previous lover before we married. One night when she was highly inebriated and we were having sex, she revealed to me (at my urging) that he had a massive cock and testicles, that intercourse with him was possible but challenging, and that she often fellated him to orgasm and swallowed his semen. The revelation was shocking at first, but has fueled my sexual fantasies for many years since. I cannot count the times I have climaxed inside her while fantasizing about her being impaled by that large cock or hungrily swallowing his semen when he ejaculated in her mouth. I also enjoy thinking that she fantasizes about being mounted and inseminated by him again, and that I lick her clean afterwards in those fantasies.

Means to sexually compete. Our sexual urges and desires ensure the propagation of our species. Our DNA doesn't get passed along unless we males inseminate a female. High sexual prowess gives the alpha male a distinct advantage in this. Based on my own thoughts, theories, and analysis I believe we beta males are inclined to suck cock and swallow the semen of other males in order to offset that advantage. Women, for whatever reason, may not be willing or able to copulate at any given time. A beta male who is readily available to satisfy the high sexual urges of an alpha, to willingly provide his mouth as a receptacle for the alpha's ejaculate, redirects that fertile seed away from the womb of a female and into his own stomach. The alpha male is sexually satisfied for a short time. The beta male has satisfied his own compulsion to service a cock orally and to taste and consume the seed of the alpha male. This may afford the beta male a higher chance of introducing his own seed into a female in the absence of the alpha's sperm. It may also be why licking a woman's pussy clean after another man has ejaculated inside her is so sexually appealing to me.

I've often wondered what originally compelled me to taste and swallow my own ejaculate. Having consumed it literally hundreds of times in my life due to finding the entire act so sexually erotic, I theorize that I've instinctively "wired" myself sexually to crave both the taste and the texture of a man's semen so that I am readily able to compete in this manner. In other words, it's more genetically advantageous for me for an alpha male's semen to be in my stomach than in my mate's pussy.

CONCLUSION

That about sums it up from my perspective. I'm sure there will be those of you who can relate to this article, as well as those who may have strong opinions against some or all of my subject points. I would very much enjoy receiving PMs from men who share my feelings and desires, and embrace their own beta male status as I do!