All Comments on 'Birthday Festivities'

Fantastic story !!!!

This is a awesome first story. I was hooked! My only complaint? Way too short! Please write more soon, I can't wait to read about the other presents the mom offers him.

Good story. Leaves all kinds of possibilities for follow up stories. But really, take some time to improve your grammar. Especially learn the difference between "then" and "than".

Good pace & nice build to a climax! Ignore the grammarians! If possible invest in Microsoft word. It will do all of the spell and grammar checking needed.

I look forward to the future chapters

This is a wonderful first effort. I wish I had done as well. Keep it up.

You have a really good style of story telling and I think you have a lot of promise.

I'm looking forward to more from you.

Very nice. Congrats on your first story. Great pacing and great descriptions show a lot of promise for you. You do have some slight grammar issues that can distract but I've seen a lot worse. I look forward to your next work, hopefully a continuation of this one. Enjoy being a writer and have fun.

Very well written and very erotic. Looking forward to th next chapter!

nice story- cannot wait for chapter 2-

Don't know why, but I found the part where his mother rolled the condom onto him without him realising insanely hot! You should definitely do something similar in future parts or other stories. Seriously that part was amazing

A fine first story. I agree that you should pay attention to grammar. Be careful with 'then' and 'than'; 'to' and 'too'; 'your' and 'you're'. It's also VERY important to proof read your story, perhaps several times, before posting it. When the reader stumbles over grammatical errors it makes the story less enjoyable to read. You have a good and creative story line and my criticisms are intended to help you improve at your craft, not to discourage you.

Thank you all for your comments/feedback. I was intending on seeing if this one was well received before I thought too heavily about writing a chapter two. That being said it looks like enough people enjoyed it that I have chapter two now in progress.

It's very possible that my excitement to post this story is at least partly to blame for some of the proof reading issues and the length.

I'll try to take some time on the next chapter to make it a little more polished (no promises though, I'm no professional) and maybe even earn one of those little "H"s. Glad you all enjoy it and thanks for the encouragement.

For a first story, very well done. Yes, I agree with the grammar issues and proofreading, but that's obvious. What I really liked, was that your characters talk like people really talk. Too many new writers feel the need to make their characters talk in flowery phrases, or use words that new real person ever uses. Nice job.

I'm not an English major, but Ijust want the rest of the story.

Excellent first story. I'm looking forward to reading Part 2. The mother placing the condom on her son and making him cum in the hot tub was daring and thrilling. Especially with the father/husband sitting across from them. Great story.

Could give a higher rating when the rest of the story is told

The story was not bad. A bit preductabke.... and please please either proofread it or get someone else to read it before you upload additional chapters. No matter what some say, it does make a difference when there is a spelling or grammar issue.

cant wait for part 2. thank you

...but the quality of the writing forced me to abandon it, halfway down the first page.

Amazing, so hot, need a part 2

It was kind of a long hot tub experience with not much happening. Many options available for the next story.

SOMEONE definitely need to proof read this thing.....all sorts of wrong words _&_ mis-spellings all the way through

love it so far

Really fun and sexy story to read. Very enjoyable.